fungusinfection

[fungusinfection]

Back cause I need to rant again~

idk if I can talk about this on here but anywho I need to get off my chest so woopdedoop

I find it funny that most people probably don’t know that I cut myself cause I don’t “do it right”. Like everyone’s like ‘wrist check’ and ‘razors’ but I’m sneaky instead of that I got long slashed vertical up my forearm that I made with glass. Like lol sorry I didn’t get lessons on how to cut myself. Honestly just felt the most comfortable. But yea I bet most people don’t know I purposefully made the massive rat tail lookin scar on my arm. speaking of rat tail scar that guys neat. Like what happened is I cut it in the dark and it ended up going super deep, like idk I’d say a cm? Anywho it probably needed stitches but of course I didn’t tell anyone about it and thought I’d be gone in a few months. Boy was I wrong… it’s been three years now and it’s still big as ever. It’s pretty interesting how the human body heals itself, like my scar is raised and pink and hence the name, literally looks like a rat tail. But yea it takes up majority of my forearm, and I honestly show it off like a piece of jewelry. I’m ashamed to say I still feel proud about it.

anywho out of curiosity anyone else also us broken glass shards for self harm? I didn’t have easy access to razors or anything like that, so I just used what I had around me. This is going to sound bad but the first few times I did it I just used sharp rocks (don’t worry it didn’t draw any blood). I’d also break the shell of those clear ballpoint pens. The glass was definitely the best tho; made the rat tail and also kinda cool imo. Like glass should be used as a weapon in story writing more (outside of the bottle stuff).

Tbh I think that’s all I got rn. Thx I needed to just spout all that stuff. Might delete later, idk never go on this account. Hope you’re having a good day and continue to!

[fungusinfection]

I’m really stuck in my head right now

I don’t know how to stop doing this. And I need to rant to someone and tumblr’s the only place I can think of now a days.

i can’t figure out how to exist right now. I keep on going through the day thinking ‘life’s great’ because I fill it with things I enjoy, but once I’m left with my thoughts, like right now at midnight, it all topples down to such an extreme degree. I feel so, so sad, and broken, and just like shit, and I don’t know how to stop it and I’m so fuckin tired of it.

the one person who was keeping me together, the one person that gave life meaning and made me see things weren’t that bad, they broke up with me and said they still wanted to be friends but it really doesn’t feel like it. And it’s killing me everyday cause I honestly just want them back as my best friend. But I think I wrecked everything by letting my emotions get the best of me at the beginning and now not knowing how to connect with them, and probably making up the whole problem of them being distant.

i just am so done. I want my best friend back. I want someone I can feel close enough to again. I want to stop hurting cause I’m so fucking obsessed with them.

i know no one will probably see this, and I might end up needing to delet this soon, but if anyone does and has anything, pls let me know. Whether it be sharing your own experience, advice, anything at all. Thank u