garden-system - Tumblr blog

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I get it. I do. Y'all are horny as shit. He's a tall drink of water and you've been stuck in the desert for 45 years. But can we please, Please stop talking about Hugh Jackman's abs for five second??

Can we talk about the emotional work he put into this variation of Wolverine? Like that campfire scene?? He is clearly still so torn up about failing the team and he doesn't put it in so many words but I think the man lowkey went feral when he came back and everyone was dead. He just lost himself in that rage cause yeah he said he did kill the guys who did it but he didn't stop after that. Either too angry or just not wanting face reality. He said he made everyone Afraid of the X-men. But he can't forgive himself for not being there. He offers to be the one to complete the bridge because he has Nothing to go back to. Nothing worth coming back for. As far as he's concerned his whole world is dead. And Wade's over here trying to give him His world instead "say hi to my friends for me."

And I...am losing my train of thought. But yeah. Just. Hugh Jackman put some damn emotional work in here can we please draw more attention to it?

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I feel like the Epic the Musical fandom needs to be introduced to the concept of genre awareness. for example. eurylochus is aware that he's in a tragedy and odysseus has never been aware of anything ever

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i really really need a weighted jacket

not like "oh the materials are heavy so it's slightly weighted"

no i need 25lbs in a jacket wrapped around me

do these even exist? how do i get it?

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so i was listening to my goodbye and it reminded me of something

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In Deadpool & Wolverine, one of the Deadpool Corps members is dressed up as Hugh Jackman’s character from The Greatest Showman. This implies that there is an alternate universe where Wade has to sing The Other Side with Logan, to convince him to join the X-Men. In this essay I will-

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Imagine having an oc group that's based off of ace card terminology like this

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I just imagined this is how it went in the Olympus

“DAAAAAD! THEY KILLED MY FAVORITE COW!!!”

“Not now Apollo, I’m choosing a new maiden to deflower tonight”

“But daaaad! Odysseus crew can’t get away wi-“

“OOOH IT WAS THAT ODY BOY?! WHY DIDNT YOU SAY IT SOONER?! HHAHA THIS IS GONNA BE HILARIOUS”

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Across the Spider-Verse & Color

So, if you're anything like me, you adore both the first and second Spider-Verse movies, but the second one holds a special place in your heart, simply because of how GORGEOUS it is.

On that note, I will be ranting about the use of color in Gwen's "coming out" scene in Across the Spider-Verse. This will not be professional or polished in any way. Y'all are lucky if it's even coherent, but here goes:

(btw, this was partially inspired by CinemaWins' "Everything Great about Spider-Man: Across the Spider-Verse" video, so go watch that rn)

First off, I love how the colors invert when Gwen's dad fires his gun into the air. It's such a shock to the viewer, both auditorily and visually, since I remember it being LOUD in the theater.

The next shot of Gwen's dad has him surrounded in dark pink, but with light blue in the background. It's spilling over onto his shoulder and the side of his head. In this instance, pink represents Gwen (her identity as Spider-Woman), and blue represents his duty as a police officer (to bring in Spider-Woman). Basically, pink is his responsibility as a father and blue is his responsibility as a police officer.

Then Gwen makes the decision to take off her mask (both literally and figuratively) and reveal her identity to her father. The colors in the background are bleeding down, since she feels like everything is falling apart around her right now (based off the fact that Earth-65 is basically a mood ring that reflects Gwen's feelings in the moment).

Her dad (understandably) is shocked, and the colors around him are...interesting, to say the least. Instead of pink or blue, he's bathed in golden-orange colors (very warm colors), which are adjacent to pink on the color wheel. There is a sliver of blue on the right-hand side, which basically shows how his duty as an officer is pushed to the side at the moment. He hasn't totally accepted Gwen as Spider-Woman yet, so his colors are adjacent to pink.

Then we get this shot, which is one of the most beautiful shots from this scene, in my opinion. Gwen's father is on the left, with those warm oranges and golds, in a much more open space, while Gwen is on the right, with dark pinks and purples (cool colors). Additionally, the rebar on the left is very jagged and pointed, showing how Gwen feels like her father is attacking her, while the rebar on the right forms almost a shield for Gwen.

In this shot, Gwen's dad is still surrounded by orange and red (although more red at this point), with only a hint of blue right behind him.

In the next shot of Gwen's dad, the blues and pinks are bleeding together in the background, and his face is mostly blue/purple-toned at this point, showing his struggle between his duty as a police officer and as a father.

"How long...have you been lying to me?" "Can you just...Can you just not be a cop for a second and be my dad here, and listen to me? Do you really think I'm a murderer?"

I love the way Gwen's mask is portrayed behind her as a hundred times bigger than her face, showing how her dad is seeing her and her secret identity at the same time and trying to reconcile the two. And the dialogue right here encapsulates my point exactly. Gwen doesn't want her father to be a cop at that moment, she just needs her dad. She needs him to listen to her and understand.

But then the icy blue encompassing her dad is so stark in comparison to Gwen's pink suit. Also, I love how her dad is sort of half blue and half pink, showing how he feels torn between his job and his personal feelings, the same way that Gwen feels torn between her secret identity and her personal feelings.

"You're in this to help people, right? Right?! Well, so am I!"

Gwen is almost pleading for her dad to understand, to see that she's trying to help too, but he's already becoming closed off. The blue is almost completely surrounding him, leaving only a bit of his face pinkish purple.

And now his face is completely dark purples and blues, with the icy blue on both sides of his body. He's committed to his duty as a cop in that moment, even though it hurts him.

As Gwen is pleading and begging for her dad to listen to her, his face is completely blue in the foreground, while she is dark reds and pinks in the background. It's a reversal of one of the previous shots, where Gwen's pink suit is in the foreground and her dad's blue-purple face is in the background.

"Please, Dad. You're all I have left."

Gwen is completely covered in pinks, purples, and magentas as she tries desperately to persuade her father to actually listen to her.

Again, it's practically the same shot as before, with Gwen's pink suit in the foreground and her father (half-blue, half-pink) in the background. But then he starts telling Gwen her Miranda rights, cementing that he's decided to arrest his daughter as Spider-Woman for a crime she didn't commit.

"Dad, STOP!"

Now black starts seeping out from the center of the shot, leaching into Gwen's colors. She's upset now and desperately yells at her father, which is extremely understandable.

"Don't come any clos-"

And as Gwen’s dad raises his gun, we can see how his side of the screen is completely filled with blues and deep purples, while hers is magenta, pink, and pinkish purple. It’s a really great way of showing the divide between the two of them, besides the fact that he’s raising a gun at his own daughter.

So, anyway...yeah. Those are my thoughts. I fully subscribe to the trans Gwen Stacy headcanon (I mean, come on, who colors their suit in the trans colors, has a ‘Protect Trans Kids’ flag in their bedroom, and has the title of their universe in the trans colors, and ISN’T trans?) and I really do love this movie. Go watch it again, and watch CinemaWins’ video on it if you haven’t.

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For being a dissociative disorder the CDDs are the ones who I see less of dissociative symptoms be talked about in the community

So I thought, why not make a post about some of the dissociative symptoms the CDD has!!

Depersonalization: Depersonalization is one of the big levels of dissociation that, in certain cases, can be categorized as a disorder in company of derealization. Depersonalization can present in various forms, but as general definition it's when someone it's so dissociated from themselves that they don't feel connected to their body or sense of self, just like you were external to yourself

Derealization: Derealization is one of the big leves of dissociation that, in certain cases, can be categorized as a disorder in company of depersonalization. Derealization can present in various forms, but as genera definition it's when you feel strange, fake, unreal and distorted your reality and all the things surrounding you.

Depersonalization and derealization tent to come hand in hand and sometimes together, this is most common between systems and it can overlap with a lot of other things making the experience more unique and worst for the pwCDD

"Autopilot" mode: Autopilot is a state of being in which your body reacts to what is needed and, like the name suggest, in an autopilot mode, is not necessarily a depersonalization mode cause it can come from more light dissociation, and sometimes you don't even feel it or realizate it happens (when depersonalization tend to be a semi-conscious and aware state), even though it can come hand in hand is not always like that

Crisis identity: Alters aside, being pwCDD can give you a lot of crisis identity, and when it comes to dissociative part is one you feel some kind of blurriness, disconnection, confusion and lost about you, can be because of many factors and can lead to severe impact in your personal view to the point of not being sure if you're you and questioning a lot of things about you, this kind of dissociative behavior can overlap with many factors which makes it worse

Emotional amnesia: Emotional amnesia is an specific kind of dissociative amnesia characterized by remembering the facts and/or events but feeling emotionally disconnected to that, not feeling or remembering the feelings regarding that memorie/event, and the sense of third person regarding the event, is being emotionally separated

Blackout amnesia: Blackout amnesia is one of the most named kinds of amnesia a pwCDD will experience, though is less common than emotional amnesia, the blackout amnesia is characterized by forgetting all about what you experienced, counting emotion and memory

Dissociative amnesia: Dissociative amnesia is a very big spectrum, this is why it's a diagnosis/disorder by its own. But for being general dissociative amnesia is when you dissociate things about yourself, this can be memories, important information, daily life, etc, to a point you end up forgetting that information

Flashback: Did you know that flashbacks are a dissociative response to trauma? You didn't? Now you know! Flashbacks are a way in which your brain dissociates from reality to relive a memory or experience you previously have, in this connotation, a traumatic experience

"Non-pain" mode: Sometimes even hurting yourself (accident or not) you can't feel the pain of that, it's like that physical damage isn't yours, this is a kind of dissociation more connected to how the brain is connected to your body and the sense of physical pain. SO sometimes your brain, aiming to protect you, dissociates from the physical pain to be "safe"

Denial: In some cases denial can be a dissociative response as a way for keeping you away from understanding and knowing you have certain trauma and passed trough certain experience. When you deny having or passing through something you tend to dissociate the memory and sometimes to the reality as a way to try keep yourself safe

Daydreaming: Daydreaming is a dissociative coping mechanism and sometimes it can come to the point of being maladaptive and dangerous for yourself. Daydreaming is a way in which trough dissociation your brain makes up a new "reality" in hopes to scape the real life and reality

Emotional disruption: Did you know that if you feel sad and then you stop being sad is dissociation? One of the dissociative ways of coping with a stressful and heavy emotion is "turning off" your emotions, or in the other hand, feeling like the past emotion was replaced by another one, it's important to note that this mood change is without any apparent explanation and you cannot return to the previous emotion cause you know feel detached to it, like isn't yours anymore. In the other hand you can be ok and a new emotion comes up to you, you feel detached to this emotion and don't have any idea where it come from and why are you feeling it, but you do, and it doesn't feels yours

Skill variation: Having in one moment one skill and in the other don't, having different skill abilities in which one time you can be good and other not that good, and all the variations within the ability to do certain skill (can be any skill, like writing, talking, moving, drawing, etc.)

"Emotionless" state: The emotionless state is when, for one or another reason, you feel empty, null, like you lack any kind of emotions, like there's a void in whee your emotions should be, this emotional dissociation can happen for many reason and in company of other symptoms, though sometimes one doesn't notice it because of this emotionless state

This are some of the dissociative symptoms I can recall at the moment, maybe there are more that I didn't put here and you want to add in comments/reblogs or you can ask me to add them to this list

Well some of this symptoms can overlap with the alter part of the disorder they're not 100% attached to them and it's important to recognize this as very prominent symptoms of the disorder, after all this is a dissociative disorder, isn't it?

If you want to add more to this or ask a question go ahead, we'll see it 100% sure!!

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it's me, i'm mfers

mfers with did will say "I'll do it later" knowing DAMN well they will forget it in the next 5 minutes

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A group of queers of all types is a pride

A group of aces is a deck

A group of aros is a quiver

A group of trans women is a code-camp

A group of enbies is a byte

A group of bi people is a tandem

A group of pan people is a panic

Thank you for coming to my wilderness documentary

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being persona is suffering

(based on this)

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This list includes doctors in the United States, Australia, Canada, and Europe!

Even if you're not the target demographic, please share for any of your friends who may be.

And if you or someone you know would like to be added to the list, there's a place for that!

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is octocon on IOS yet?? i really want to try it out but i can't find it on the app store and the link on the website isn't working for me? but idk if that's my problem or if it's just not ready yet...

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Shoutout to systems (highly specific version):

- Systems who feel like they're faking because they have memory keepers with horrible memory because the body has multiple other disorders that affect memory

- Systems who have abuser introjects who are really kind, nice and nothing like source

- Systems with struggling gatekeepers that barely can do their job

- Systems who have in-system romantic and/or sex life

- Systems who feel like their headspace is ever growing and expanding like the fabric of space

- Systems who have low-tolerance to stress and end up splitting a lot because of it

- Systems who have high-tolerance to stress and still don't know why they're splitting so much

- Systems who have a healthy family dynamic internally even though their actual family dynamic is not healthy

- Systems with morally questionable in-system dynamics

- Systems who physically turn around as a way to look at their headspace

- Systems with lots and lots of in-system pet NPCs

- Systems who despise fried eggs

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shoutout to systems with trauma less commonly talked about in our community

-shoutout to people who grew up in and around the foster care system

-systems who were neglected because their parents prioritized their siblings

-people who have been traumatized by another system

-unwilling loners

-disabled people who've been denied accommodations

-people who have suffered with violent/frightning intrusive thoughts or delusions as long as they can remember

-kids who lost close family members

-people with medical, and also dental trauma

I think sometimes we as a community fall into the "trauma olympics" and forget that lots of things are traumatic to young children. You don't need specific types of trauma to be valid and to deserve care. It's easy to be scared that because you weren't traumatized the same way as someone else that you aren't "really traumatized" or that you're faking your symptoms. But always remember that you were a child, if something bad happened to you and nobody was helping you cope with it, that's enough. Don't invalidate yourself because of trauma that somebody else went through. You are loved, reach out for support if you need it <3