geriatricmachineshed

[geriatricmachineshed]

Not my vid

[geriatricmachineshed]

very much a fan of this post so i felt compelled to make my own. print it out and give it to your coworkers or hang it in your cubicle and go "don't make me tap the sign"

[geriatricmachineshed]

God I hate writing query letters. Getting feedback for them is definitely the worst part- I feel like everytime I go to anywhere online for advice or critique, everyone’s so harsh and demeaning. I don’t know, man. It makes it hard to keep up the fight.

[geriatricmachineshed]

tiktoks with vine energy pt. 7

[geriatricmachineshed]

said faggot in front of my coworkers and my god. Mistake.

[geriatricmachineshed]

tiktoks with vine energy pt. 2

[geriatricmachineshed]

Literal TEARS in my eyes rn

[geriatricmachineshed]

[geriatricmachineshed]

Throughout all of history, mankind has never created a more precise measuring tool than the infallible "eyeballin' it."

[geriatricmachineshed]

The fact that animals that care for their young will sometimes adopt others' lost or orphaned young to raise along their own is just funny to me. I know that it's all hormonal and there's no conscious thought involved in it, but the internal logic of it is so funny.

"Baby = success. More baby = more success. I have one baby and I found four other baby. I have five baby. I am being so fucking successful right now."

[geriatricmachineshed]

Me: It’s clearly the lactose intolerance that’s making my tummy hurt

Anxiety disorder: Yeah but what if your appendix is about to explode

Me: I did all the tests like falling down on my ankles and pressing my stomach and the pain didn’t get any worse and I have no fever and also the pain has moved to my left side now. And I ate a bunch of yogurt earlier without remembering to take lactaid. Clearly the lactose is just moving through my intestines.

Anxiety disorder: Yes but hear me out. What if your appendix is about to explode.

[geriatricmachineshed]

[geriatricmachineshed]

sbi 2025 update is hilarious in such a terrible way.

WILBUR SOOT is genuinely a really bad person and most of his friends don't speak to him anymore.

TOMMYINNIT is publicly spiraling and processing several years of trauma by way of a stand up comedy career.

TECHNOBLADE is dead in real life.

PHILZA is living in the same house with the same wife streaming on the same stream schedule in the same minecraft world where he's working on the same projects.

[geriatricmachineshed]

I literally heard myself wheeze at one point reading these. 😂