ghostingpen

[ghostingpen]

16 august 2025

I got myself a present of new post-its! I'm trying not to buy stationary I won't use or don't need but I actually have finished most of my post-its. still working through reviewing quantum i... and yes my quantum notes are very pink

🎧 | sunshine – aqyila

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genuinely if u have been feeling like garbage u have to put the effort in to do one new thing every day. it doesn't have to be big but you have to do it. like I'm talking open your alarms and set a daily new thing time right now before you finish reading this sentence levels of do it. actually making the concrete choice to change something by doing it levels of doing it.

it doesn't have to be a big thing to be new. combine two ingredients for a snack you've never had before. open itch.io and play the first free game you see, or read the first free book. browse online radio stations. try a free demo on steam. catch up on a webcomic. follow an origami tutorial. take a different route on the way home. talk to someone you've been too shy to. watch a video on how to learn a skill you hadn't really thought about. identify one local bird. read a random page on wikipedia all the way through. listen to a local artist on bandcamp. play some new daily website game. read theory that you've been putting off. try a free art program and see what you can make in 15 minutes. experiment with a yoga pose. put your pillows on the foot of your bed and sleep like that for a night. stand on something you usually sit on.

I get that it's hard to make habits. I am saying this as someone disabled, with ADHD, with autism, with depression, unmedicated, etc etc, and as someone who has been in the recovery of clawing myself out of that hole. being stuck in monotony will kill you. you're not obligated to like the new things, you can not finish what you started, never touch it again. but you have to seek it out, and yes, you do have the power to make that kind of change right now, and every day, even when it's exhausting and feels useless and the world sucks. it is not a choice that will solve everything. but I truly do believe it's worth doing. I love you.

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back for another productive saturday. i already got a lot written in an hour. don't underestimate the power of writing by hand if you're feeling stuck.

today's song: sorry for party rocking - LMFAO

novel progress: 46561/90000

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would also recommend feeld as a grindr alternative, i’ve met lots of cool ppl there

ough . thank you for the rec. i need more autistic doms who won't just send me ugly ass dick pics first thing and i'm not kidding

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"So how do I make a Personal Ad?"

I have seen a stupid number of people on the reg, especially more submissive folks, complaining that there's no lesbian/trans grindr, and that it's hard to find hookups or that there's a "Top Shortage" and I'm here to tell you how to actually advertise yourself to get laid. My platform of choice is LEX as it has the highest density of trans people, but this works for any sort of platform with a personal ad element.

"But I've posted before with no response!!"

There are a couple main reasons that I see personal ads, especially on places like LEX, get no traction. Some of them are:

• Vague desire- Posts may often say things like "Really want someone to fuck me" and end there. Do you want vanilla sex? Do you want something kinky? Do you only do sides? Specify what exactly you want out of a relationship.

• Self deprecation- If you say something along the lines of "I suck and nobody wants me but does anyone want to prove me wrong" (more common than you'd think) people won't answer your ad because they'll assume you ALSO suck. You do not suck. Even if you think you suck, pretend for the paragraph it takes that you DONT suck. People are drawn to confidence, and part of that is not putting yourself down just because others have in the past.

• Unspecified target- Who are you aiming to fuck? What's your type? Do you have a preference? How experienced are the partners you're looking for? The less you specify, the more people may assume that you're NOT looking for them. (Joke ->)Say what you will about chasers, at least they know who they want. Take a page out of that book, and don't be afraid to desire a specific kind of person.

• Nothing to offer- popping back to the "Who wants me" example, what is the other person getting out of this? You don't have to reciprocate. Nobody should ever force you to, no matter what people say, but even pillow princessing IS a genuine offer, especially for folks like stone butches. Make sure you're specifying what you're bringing to the table.

"So How SHOULD I be advertising?"

Well, let's start with an example of a post that got me traction as a dom-bottom

I'm looking for new play partners!

Dom Bottom looking for Sub Tops, or Subs who are just looking for Impact and pet play.

I love to dote, tease, and have the energy of a cat that just found a mouse. Shy to DM? 🌷React

Bonus points if you're trans, fat, or have that scary dog vibe! Others are still 👍

So we'll go through point by point for a general "script" to follow

I'm looking for new play partners!

Establish Desire. What are you looking for? A quick hookup? Play partners? A proper romantic relationship? Let people know what you want out of the relationship so they know if they're looking for the same thing as you.

Dom Bottom looking for Sub Tops, or Subs who are just looking for Impact and pet play.

Having kinky sex? What role are you filling? Are you a Dom, Sub, or Switch? Are you a Top, Bottom, or Verse? If you ARE a verse switch, are you looking to flip during? Or do you want to try a roll you haven't had yet. Just want vanilla sex? Say so! Vanilla sex can be just as fulfilling, and not everyone wants to be ordered around or giving orders. People need to know if they're compatible with you, and having an orientation listed is a good shorthand for if your desires mesh.

I love to dote, tease, and have the energy of a cat that just found a mouse.

What vibes are you giving off? If you're a sub, are you a brat? Are you devotional? If you're domming, are you mean? Are you soft and caring? Once again, this helps people know if they're compatible with you, and gives them a preview into what actually fucking you would be like. It's easier for people to respond when they know they enjoy what you're offering.

Shy to DM? 🌷React

This one is more platform specific, but people get shy and nervous to message. In general, but ESPECIALLY as a sub, you can't expect people to just pursue you and make the first move. Telling people that they can comment or emote a certain way and you'll take the first step helps to take away some of the anxiety that comes with putting yourself out there. It doesn't help that people like women, trans or otherwise, are socialized that they SHOULDN'T take that first step or that it may be predatory. You want to remove as many barriers as possible to someone wanting you so you can find those relationships.

Bonus points if you're trans, fat, or have that scary dog vibe! Others are still 👍

Who exactly do you want to respond to your advertisement? Especially for groups that don't typically feel desired like fat or trans people, it's important to know you're welcoming and actually desire them. It's not bad to have preferences and it's important that you communicate them so people know that they won't be rejected off the bat.

"Easy for you to say, you're a dom! What am I supposed to do?"

So lets go over a few example ads

Sub Bottom into CGL:

Hi!! Sub bottom looking for a daddy/mommy to take care of me. I love someone not afraid to hit me, and love to give head. Open to both total submission or bratting, and I especially enjoy femme Mommies/Daddies. React to this and I'll message you first!!

Vanilla Sex w/heavy aftercare

Hey there, looking for a lowkey hookup followed by cuddles and a movie. I'm t4t and looking for something vanilla and reciprocated. Willing to host, and open to all types :) I want to dote on someone for a while and get the same.

Pillow princess lesbian into butches

Pillow princess iso a butch to take care of me. I don't feel comfortable reciprocating, but I'm very vocal and love praise, along with having a masochistic streak. You can react to this and I'll message first, especially if you're muscular or taller than me, though I'm into any women who want to apply. I look forward to talking to you! Trans butches welcome :)

Any of these are effective ads, as they let the person know exactly what you want, what you're offering, and who you're looking for.

"That's a lot of words. How can I shorten that to add to my tinder profile, character limit, etc?"

Let's list out some of the most popular acronyms and terms to help shorten that out. Don't be afraid to use emojis if you need em, but keep it minimal so it still seems like a serious ad.

But otherwise, good luck! Be free! Make your personal ads! And don't put yourself down, you got this and I promise there are people out there who want to fuck you SO bad. They just need to know that YOU want to fuck them. And, affectionately, be the change you want to see in the world. Be a horny bitch. Stop expecting people to be horny for you.

Side: Someone who doesn't do traditional intercourse and may only do kink without sex.

NSA: No strings attached

ONS: One night stand

LTR: Long term relationship

STR: Short term relationship

LDR: Long distance relationship

CGL DD||MD/LG||LB: Caregiver/Little and associated gendered specifics

BBW: Big beautiful women

DP: Double penetration

FJ: Foot Job

ISO: in search of

MMF/FFM/FFF etc: threesome designations

Safe: Use of condoms/dental dams/safe sex

Vet: Short for vetting

BDSM: Bondage Discipline Sex Magic

T4T: Trans for Trans

ABDL: Adult Baby Diaper Lover

CBT: Cock and Ball torture

CNC: Consentual non consent

D/s: dom/sub

RACK: Risk aware consentual kink

S&M: Sadism + Masochism

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[journal, diário de hobbies] oi eu tenho secretamente um diário de hobbies onde eu escrevo sobre os mangás e animes (e outros) que eu estiver lendo/vendo. Eu desenho e faço colagens.

[hobbies' journal] hi in secret I have this hobbies' journal that I draw, collage and write about mangas, animes and other things.

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august 2025 | oh, she's in love, your honour.

i made like a dozen trifold traveler's notebooks inspired by louise carmen for myself and nearly the same amount to give as gifts for birthdays. i'm literally obsessed. new hobby landed hard. i'm thinking about making hobonichi style covers because i'm a little afraid of the strings damaging the tomoe river paper in the long run. they haven't yet, but it's a possibility.

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all hail writing annotations and summaries 📋🤎

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first journal post of the year

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some chapters feel endless. like you're stuck in a loop of waiting, aching, wondering if the story will ever move again. they don't look like much: slow mornings, unanswered questions, and days that blur together. it's easy and natural to think nothing is happening. but these chapters are quietly aligning moments, people, opportunities and setting the stage for the shift you won't see coming. and one day, when your plot twist arrives, you'll trace it all the way back to these chapters and realize that stillness was never still at all 💌🌱🌈📖����

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it/its pronouns are the coolest thing ever btw and you should give anybody who uses them $1,700 immediately

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(trying to) make things

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my safe space

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My friends and I organised a reading getaway to Normandie! We spent our days indulging in Elena Ferrante’s writing and lots of coffee ☕️ 

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august what’s on my desk