ghoulpoole

[ghoulpoole]

four transsexuals walk into a vet office.

they say "we're here to see our PCP!"

[ghoulpoole]

there is no such thing as allies.

they will not lift a finger.

[ghoulpoole]

SAY THEIR NAMES.

The following trans and nonbinary people have died under violent circumstances in the United States in 2024. SAY THEIR NAMES.

Kitty Monroe, age 43 (Phoenix, AZ)

Sasha Williams, age 36 (Las Vegas, NV)

Nex Benedict, age 16 (Owasso, OK)

África Parrilla García aka Emma Garcia (San Juan, PR)

Righteous TK "Chevy" Hill, age 35 (East Point, TX)

Reyna Hernandez, age 54 (Renton, WA)

Diamond Brigman, age 36 (Houston, TX)

Alex Franco, age 21 (Lehi, UT)

Meraxes Medina, age 24 (Houston, TX)

Yella Clark, age 45 (Angola, LA)

Tee "Legend Billions" Arnold, age 36 (Hallandale Beach, FL)

River Nevaeh Goddard, age 17 (Stow, MA)

Starr Brown, age 18 (Memphis, TN)

Andrea Doria Dos Passos, age 37 (Miami, FL)

Darri Moore, age 23 (Ste Genevieve, MO)

Kita Bee, age 46 (Kansas City, MO)

Jazlynn Jonson, age 18 (Las Vegas, NV)

Tayy Dior Thomas, age 17 (Mobile, AL)

Michelle Henry, age 25 (San Francisco, CA)

M Tapia, age 52 (Denver, CO)

Liara Kaylee Tsai, age 35 (Minneapolis, MN)

Pauly Likens, age 14 (Sharon, PA)

Kenji Spurgeon, age 23 (Seattle, WA)

Shannon Boswell, age 30 (Atlanta, GA)

Monique Brooks, age 49 (Orlando, FL)

Dylan Gurley, age 20 (Denton, TX)

Vanity Williams, age 34 (Houston, TX)

Tai'Vion Lathan, age 24 (Baltimore, MD)

Kassim Omar, age 29 (Columbus, OH)

Redd China aka Barbie Iceland, age 25 (Chicago, IL)

Quanesha Shantel, age 26 (Greensboro, NC)

Santonio "San" Coleman, age 48 (Athens, GA)

Honee Daniels, age 37 (Rochester, NY)

77% of victims listed were people of color. 84% of victims listed were transfemme.

Sources:

Trans Murder Monitoring Name List 2024

Fatal Violence Against the Transgender and Gender-Expansive Community in 2024, Human Rights Campaign

[ghoulpoole]

the left builds a sandcastle,

acts shocked every time the waves dissolve it,

and ignores our pleas to build something more solid while it still can.

[ghoulpoole]

love the trans people in your life

before its too late

[ghoulpoole]

where are they now? left shark

with support from family and friends, they transitioned to right shark

[ghoulpoole]

our city

i live in a city where people keep their windows closed and shuttered.

where the landlord locks up the bins for fear that what is not wanted is taken by people who are not wanted.

in my city, stores don't want you to linger. they close off entrances. they put up cameras and monitors, so you know they're watching.

they block off the pharmacy with metal railings, so you cannot pass the guard unnoticed.

they close the only store for miles.

in my city, they pave over the streetcar and rail lines of past centuries. now, most people feel unsafe taking the train. but i take it every day.

commuters on the train pretend not to see the man who fell and hit his head. he doesn't make a sound, but there he is, curled up on the floor. nobody stirred.

it's my stop and i see him fall as i approach the exit. i turn toward the door, and i'm not sure i'll ever forgive myself.

i then reproach myself for thinking, selfishly, what if i was the one curled on the floor?

i've been thinking about moving since i saw that happen. it may be that other cities are like this. i wouldn't know, i've not lived in other cities.

but i don't want to find out.

it is in our power to make this city more than the night terror that it sometimes feels like.

it is in our power to break the lock guarding the trash bins,

to rob kroger blind and show them what a theft problem actually looks like,

to jump their metal railings to get our fucking medication,

and flip off the security guard while we do it;

for fuck's sake, to help up people when they fall;

to carry cash if you have any to spare,

to fill the food desert with free food and show safeway that we didn't need their bullshit anyway,

to carry narcan,

to wear a mask,

to not be afraid to look at people and show them that you see them,

to open our windows.

it is in our power.

it's not just my city, it is our city, and it has so much potential,

and so many great people,

if only we would open up our windows

and look.

[ghoulpoole]

my hips don't lie, but they do tell riddles.

[ghoulpoole]

my imaginary punk band is called KJ (kill joanne).

which joanne? iykyk

[ghoulpoole]

sometimes i lie in bed and feel the weight and lightness of people i've lost.

[ghoulpoole]

Margartia Karapanou, tr. by Karen Emmerich, from Rien ne va plus

[Text ID: “I would have preferred if you had loved me less and understood me more.”]

[ghoulpoole]

"you're really going to cut off your biggest support right before surgery?"

cw: breakups, emotional abuse, manipulative behavior.

that's what she said to me when i left.

it was not a question, but a threat.

i know that now because it worked,

because of how well it left me bereft.

you see, she demanded reasons

when i told her i needed to leave.

"so that's it? is there anything else?"

well, yeah.

reasons i had,

but every reason was thrown back in my face.

my bottom surgery was just one such case.

i was hurt by how she spoke to me recently.

"so one rough patch and you give up completely?"

i was extremely upset by our most recent fight.

"one argument and you're ready to leave the very next night?"

i felt overwhelmed with burnout and dread.

"couldn't that be because you changed up your meds?"

i wanted to feel confident and secure before bottom surgery.

and that's when she said it.

her words dug down far into my heart,

but that question struck some deep thing that held me together.

like a burst pipe, i just fell apart.

i wept.

i wept and wept and wept.

i wept small shallow sounds.

i wept until my lungs were sore.

i wept until my tears were no more.

she held me while i wept, even though i didn't ask her to.

i gasped and grasped for words amidst the flood,

but my tongue was wet clay

and my feelings were mud.

when she crossed the room to brandish her "love",

my hands brushed a root;

something sturdy, grounded, and infallibly true.

after her speech, i said:

i'm spent. i can't do it anymore. i'm sorry. whatever it is that you need, i have no more of it to offer you.

her face turned to stone.

i saw her realize

that neither the words she had used as a shovel

nor the love she had tried to use as a cudgel

would keep her from being alone.

[ghoulpoole]

bloodsun rising

i often think about the fires

i have seen throughout my life,

about how that unrelenting sun 

bleeds out from the ruptured sky.

i saw that sky when i was ten

in mom's minivan back seat,

i saw that looming bloodsun

and felt its terrifying heat.

we were ordered to evacuate

as the flames grew ever near.

my parents refused to comply

for reasons that are still unclear.

it was twelve years later

when my bloodsun rose again.

the sky was gashed,

the air was ash,

and from behind my mask

i wondered: will this be how it ends?

the bloodsun now comes once a year 

menstruating burning sky.

when it does, 

i just can't help but wonder -

who the hell am i?

what right have i to hope,

to love,

to fear,

to cope,

to flee?

what right have i to poetry?

what words are to be found

when all that's left of what we love

are the ashes all around?

what words are there to say

when our siblings fill the ground?

i think about my sister's ashes

to this day still uninterred,

tucked into a cardboard box

inside a cupboard undisturbed.

what would do justice to her name?

in the end,

her body was just food for flames.

the only word i have is fear.

i fear my body's fate

will be the same.

[ghoulpoole]

reblog to become the most frequently reported transgender phantom

like to become the genital phantom

[ghoulpoole]

something that people don't really care to address because of beloved biological perspectives but HRT weight gain is like marriage weight gain in that its emblematic of safety, security, comfort, and, symbolically, the reconstruction of one's personal embodiment of "home"

[ghoulpoole]

I relate to this so much. for years, even after I knew that I was trans, I thought that I didn't really experience gender dysphoria. it was only after I started transitioning that I realized how much it had affected me

[ghoulpoole]

floating in pleasure