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[girl-inthe-stars]

the ghost of East Tennessee

[girl-inthe-stars]

To feel as though you love someone who will never love you back is a true tragedy, but one that is all too common in life.

I drink to find the courage to say the words

1,2,3 Tequila shots that are hard to swallow

Just to say words that are hard to get out

1,2,3 Tequila shots followed by lime

Just to get through the waiting

I swallowed all my words for so long

Now that they’re gone there’s no lump keeping everything else down

It all comes pouring out

And I puke off the balcony

1,2,3 more tequila shots to forget that just happened

I wish I could forget the words sitting on my screen

Waiting to be seen by you

I wish I could take them back

And undrink the 9 tequila shots that are in my system and in the yard

- Tequila shots for a love that will never be

[girl-inthe-stars]

To be loved without being known feels an awful lot like winning a participation trophy

[girl-inthe-stars]

I no longer want to cloak myself in mystery, I am a person and not an enigma, and for that I am glad.

[girl-inthe-stars]

I see her in the wildflowers

I see him in the moon

But you

I see you in everything

This city is covered in memories of you

Memories I hope will never fade into distant memories

This is a love that will never run it’s course

I hear him in the woods behind the park

I feel her in the mountains

But you

Your soul is tied to everything

Everything I’ve ever loved

Is you

And they fade away with the years

But you remain the same

[girl-inthe-stars]

Sometimes I hope you fail

At all the things that you want to do

But that just feels petty

And leaves a bad taste in my mouth

The truth it that I wanna forgive you

I wanna tell you my life is much better

Without you around

I hope that you know

That I didn’t need you

I’ve got this voice inside my head that says I shouldn’t care

I wish I could hate you like all of my friends do

[girl-inthe-stars]

Love is for the wicked, darling, what we have is so much better

[girl-inthe-stars]

If you ever stopped loving me

I think I would have to

Relearn how to breathe

Remind myself I was human before you were mine

If you ever left I think I would have to learn to rewind

Roll back the tapes

To before I knew your name

Erase the shape of your body

And the look on your face

[girl-inthe-stars]

My savior is a sickly sweet 20 something with red wine on her breath

I’ve never met a more loving congregation

Than her apostles in the bathroom at the bar

And I will have faith in her forever

[girl-inthe-stars]

I sit in the darkness of my living room

And peer out the window,

Down at the alley people who flock to the bars

As if they were moths drawn to light.

I listen as their voices drift up through humid air

Like a drunken symphony.

I lean across the sill that divides my night from theirs,

To get a better view of their half-lit faces.

It’s like watching a film

With incomprehensible dialogue.

I can’t help but wonder,

Do they struggle to get out of bed in the morning?

Or are they always as happy and alive

As they seem right now?

I’m not sure why I care,

Perhaps I just like the taste of other people’s cakes

So, I savor these fleeting moments

Of Imagining stories that are not mine to know,

Then I pull the window shut

And pad off the bed

As I sing my own solemn lullaby

To the tune of their orchestra.

- Alley People

[girl-inthe-stars]

I’m not really sure if I’m a good person

You say that you love me

I’m not sure I’m worth it

Please don’t make me a God

You don’t want to worship

[girl-inthe-stars]

I have missed you for quite some time but I was too scared to find my way back out into the stars

[girl-inthe-stars]

Will you still love me when all I can offer

Is my love in small doses?

[girl-inthe-stars]

When I opened my eyes I was standing in a field of lavender

This was somewhere I’d never been

But it felt familiar

Maybe I had seen it in a dream.

I was wearing a long white cotton dress

And the air was so warm

A comforting warm

Like the atmosphere was embracing me.

I walked along the rows of lavender

And a gentle breeze kissed my skin.

In the distance I saw a man standing

He seemed familiar as well

Like a friend I had not seen in a while.

I smiled and continued to walk toward him

I couldn’t remember the last time 

I felt contempt

But there in the field

There was a comfort I had never known before.

Like every ache my body had ever felt

Was forgotten

Every worry I had ever thought

Was erased

Like it all just vanished overnight

And then I realized

I did not remember closing my eyes.

-Escapril #1 - when I opened my eyes

[girl-inthe-stars]

I wonder if you’re thinking about me

Wondering if I’m still sad

And secretly praying that I am.

You only ever liked my words

When they were filled with sorrow.

[girl-inthe-stars]

being so lost in love and sure that it will not fade with time

[girl-inthe-stars]

Picture this: it’s a Tuesday afternoon, the Ides of March. You drive two hours to the “big city” to see your favorite artist, you’re dancing down the street singing her songs with your best friends. The air smells sweet and you are happy just to be in that moment. You sit in line waiting to go into the venue, you look up to the window and you see the people inside they’re dancing, they’re laughing, they’re just like you really. You wave out of pure excitement and to your disbelief they wave back. Your heart is full and your head is overflowing with dreams of meeting the people behind the glass, this day is unforgettable.