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[girltrashdump]

Nooo why is this my life

Murder documentaries & naps

[girltrashdump]

7/11/2023

Good afternoon Lovely people

The best part about talking to yourself on the internet is that no one cares. there is such a safe feeling about no one caring about what you do. well, that last time I talked to and dumped my trash I had no boyfriend no drive, awful grades just sadness, and an awful hair dye job ( even though I love bad hair dye jobs) but today on this awful hot day in New York City I sit in the lounge of my college looking out at Washington square park feeling nothing. you may say well at least that it’s not depression or sadness. but I feel so empty and without purpose once again. How did I find myself so happy these past 7 months? 

well let me give you the long run down of my life these past months 

January: look at the pervious post 

February: I saw him and he saw me and I didn’t know him but he knew me and he started plotting his way to somehow infect my life. btw I lost my virginity ( so fucking crazy)

March: The happy month of my life, He made me feel I had a purpose to make him happy and stay. I was happy that I had something to do with my time besides cutting myself and pretending to be happy 

April: well we fought a lot but that sex was amazing( people were not lying when they say makeup sex is the best !!!) 

May: I thought we were going to be over but we stayed because he said he wanted it 

June: Best summer romance shit ever. Loved it I thought we were happy He told me he wanted me after he seen me

July: he doesn’t want me anymore- Over during my awful  shift at the RC 

well that has been me and sorry for abandoning you I won’t let it happen  again

[girltrashdump]

Ok first,,,,,,,, people dont fucking think this way Love doesn’t exist People just fuck and move on.

[girltrashdump]

1/12/2023

Yesterday was a good day! I woke up today and I felt great, then the insurance agent TLYER had to dump a bucket of cold water on me. Telling me that the insurance company thinks I'm a risk because of my mental health. ( I know this is not Tyler’s fault). 

What’s the issue you may ask? the fact that when this issue my mom blamed me and got upset because “ you say all of those things and now look” she is referring to me having suicidal thoughts. I haven’t wanted a cigarette in weeks, and now all I want to do is forget.  Now I have to call my old therapist and beg her to change something on my medical record, to say that I’m “ok” even tho I am not in the slightest bit. 

My family gives me so much anxiety, and if I’m the reason my mom can’t get a life insurance policy for our family My mother will hate me more than she already does. I’m so stressed all I wanna do is stuff my face in a cake a take a pound of drugs. 

does anyone else feel like this?

[girltrashdump]

1/11/23

Good afternoon or morning or whatever time it is. Today I woke up happy ( I don’t do that often) but I woke up actually excited about what I could do today. I’ll probably just read and watch YouTube and stuff my face full of pasta. so GOOD DAY 

[girltrashdump]

no wtf... a bitch just wanna sleep 

i'm so sleepy all day but when it's actually time to sleep i can't

[girltrashdump]

hi,

welp guess this starts here <3