goatman137

[goatman137]

Why does being randomly recommended tv shows feel like such a burden?? Like no, I have not watched suits, but thank you for the suggestion. Please take a number and wait in line to be called forward. The current average waiting time is 743 days. We can both experience vague subconscious feelings of guilt and dread while I get to you. Thank you for your thoughtfulness, I hope my opinions on it don't disappoint you!!

[goatman137]

I know you don't want to hear this, but how do we know that the tooth fairy isn't constructing some horrifying Naglfar-esque Armageddon war machine out of the milk teeth of human young??

Why do we just assume they're on our side when their whole deal is the nocturnal gathering of human body parts? If any other immortal being offered you money in exchange for your tooth, do you not think you'd have some serious reservations?? Use your heads people!!!

[goatman137]

*A deserted forest camp set into a shaded hilltop. A walkie talkie crackles into speech*

"We have now been tracking the meese for a month. We have observed the bearing of three fauna, numbers thankfully mitigated by disease. The membership of the herd numbered initially about a long hundred, but by Midweek morning, it had fallen by a baker's score. They palpably slew in drought, and only at the sight of waters was much spood noted. Ironically they will drink fanta but not mountain dew. More updates soon to follow..."

[goatman137]

"Actually the biblical God is totally evil and the product of single mother's attempted abortion. He makes earth completely miserable because why not, and humanity is trapped here but they forgot about it when he made them drink a potion. Also Lucifer is good now 👍"

- Gnosticism, a legitimate school of Christian thought (and somehow not an edgy 16 year old atheist??)

GOD I love fringe christianity it never disappoints