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[grandmatapati]

Fake check plus rental scam used on my grandson

Grandson 1 was victimized by a scammer who combined a rental scam with a fake check scam. He was waiting for his refund after giving security plus first and then being told that the owner wouldn't waive last month as had been suggested. He'd signed a lease already. All the paperwork looked legit.

He got a check in the mail, no note or explanation, nineteen thousand bucks. Way more than the 3500 he's owed. Then the "realtor" contacted him and said there was a problem that had arisen that made it so they couldn't refund him electronically. But they had a client in Alabama that owed them money and sent a check. Grandson 1 was supposed to take his cut of that check and send on the rest to them. His bank confirmed that the check was fake. He's contacting the police today.

All of that leaves him scrambling to raise more money for an apartment with the rains coming soon, staying in our garage that floods when it rains. It's an El Nino year so who knows how much rain we'll be getting. IDK if they need to do a gofundme now or what. It's so depressing. I wish so much that we had the money to cover it and he could pay us back. We just don't. Nor do we have room to spare in our small home. It's heart-breaking.

In retrospect I wish I'd investigated the so-called realtor as he told me he was trying to rent the place. Maybe I could have headed him off at the pass. I did say it was unusual for anyone to try so hard to work with a young renter and waive last month's rent. I should have listened to my own intuition.

I'll follow up on this as we learn more. I just want young people to know there are heartless people out there that will do this--even though they learn that their "mark" had lost his mother this year.

[grandmatapati]

I'm glad people thought of ways to help mitigate the impact of book banning. I hope this spreads far and wide.

public libraries in the usa offering free digital library cards to people not in their areas (as of october 2023):

brooklyn (13-21yo us residents)

seattle (13-26yo us residents)

boston (13-26yo us residents)

los angeles (13-18yo california residents)

san diego (12-26yo us residents, not the whole collection just commonly banned books)

these cards (part of the books unbanned initiative) get you access to each library's complete libby/overdrive collection (unless otherwise mentioned), no hoopla/kanopy/physical copies included.

ebook collections are expensive to maintain (many american libraries have annual fees for non-residents because of this) but because of an uptick in book banning (particularly brutal in mississippi last summer) larger libraries have opened their doors more, which is very kind of them!

i've used my seattle card for the last several months and their libby collection has about three times the books that my local library does, which is wonderful for accessing more niche titles or skipping a waiting list. would love to hear of similar ebook initiatives internationally!

i use library extension (firefox/safari/chrome compatible) to check all my collections (+ the internet archive) at once, works for several different countries highly recommend it.

spotify seems to be offering 15hrs/month of audiobook listening to premium subscribers and while that does seem useful if you're already paying and are after a new release with a long library waitlist, libraries are better for everything else.

[grandmatapati]

Only capitalism could turn unlimited free electricity into a problem.

[grandmatapati]

I made another thing.

With apologies to Neil Gaiman.

[grandmatapati]

Remembering Heather Askeland

CN: suicide, chronic illness, poverty, lack of healthcare

Artist Melinda Hannah painted a portrait of Heather Askeland, a young woman who died of suicide after suffering from Lyme Disease with a lack of comprehensive care or financial support. In desperation she even wrote to Ellen, Oprah and others in hope of getting some assistance and spreading the word about long term Lyme Disease. Before she died she made one last plea:

I am sicker than I've been in my life. Mostly bedridden now, in complete agony 24/7. My family refuses to help (beyond one monetary fundraiser donation from my aunt, for which I am very thankful, but she could take me in and help me access treatment, and of course, won't).

Tell me how and why to go on, without family support, with family who thinks im being difficult or crazy, when without serious assistance I have little to no hope of recovery. I have reached out to everyone I can think of. I have written Ellen Degeneres three or four times. Oprah. Dr Phil. Nothing.

This is my life. It's the only one I have. I don't know why I'm writing this here. Do you know someone famous, or with money and influence? Would you be willing to write to everyone you know asking if there's a next step for me, a place I can stay and get help and lyme treatment without the benefit of financial resources? SOS. My life. --May 4, 2014

Melinda added, "On July 27, 2014, Heather stepped in front of a train."

I knew one of Heather's friends and donated to a fundraiser but I could see she had a smaller circle of people trying to help. Some turning to illness fundraising are extroverts who started with a large group of friends, acquaintances and contacts. Others are introverts like me, like Heather might have been, and don't have that. Also the younger you are, the less time you've had in life to meet people.

Fundraising isn't the way we should be forced to pay for healthcare. Obamacare was a decent first effort and probably all that we could get passed at the time but we need Medicare for All.

Think about this whenever you vote. Heather isn't the only person I know personally who didn't survive without healthcare.

[grandmatapati]

@startorrent02

https://www.ama-assn.org/delivering-care/public-health/ama-use-bmi-alone-imperfect-clinical-measure

[grandmatapati]

Screen ID: post by OP Intrigue Post Haste- “I’m watching a documentary ‘Before Stonewall’ about gay history pre-1969, and discovered something which is interesting.

This documentary includes a brief clip of a 1954 televised newscast about the rise of homosexuality. The host of the program interviewed psychologists, a police officer, and one “known homosexual”. The “known homosexual” is 22 years old. He identifies himself as Curtis White, which is a pseudonym, his name is actually Dale Olson.

So I tracked down the newscast. According to what I can find, Dale Olson may have been the first gay man to appear openly on television and defend his sexual orientation. He explains that there’s nothing wrong with him mentally and he’s never been arrested. When asked whether he’d take a cure if it existed, he says no. When asked whether his family knows he’s gay,he says that they didn’t up until tonight, but he guesses they’re going to find out, and he’ll probably be fired from his job as well. So of course the host is like… why are you doing this interview then? And Dale Olson, cool as cucumber pie, says “I think that this way I can be a little useful to someone besides myself.”

1954. 22 years old. Balls of pure titanium.

Despite the pseudonym, Dale’s boss did indeed recognize him from the TV program, and he was promptly fired the next day. He wrote into ONE magazine six months later to reassure readers that he had gotten a new hob at a higher salary.

Curious about what became of him, I looked into his life a litter further. It turns out that he ultimately became a very successful publicity agent. He promoted the ‘Rocky’ movies and ‘Superman’. Not only that, but get this: Dale represented Rock Hudson, and he was the person who convinced him to disclose that he had AIDS! He wrote the statement Rock read. And as we know, Rock Hudson’s disclosure had a very significant effect on the national conversation about AIDS in the U.S.

It appears that no one has made the connection between Dale Olson the publicity agent instrumental in the AIDS debate and Dale Olson the 22 year old first openly gay man on TV. So I thought I’d make it. For Pride month, an unsung gay hero. End ID.

[grandmatapati]

Amen.

[grandmatapati]

My mom told me in the early 60s that thunder was God talking so I was always trying to understand what he might be saying. I love thunderstorms!

always so touching and vibrant when you remember people a hundred years ago had profound lives full of fun and love

[grandmatapati]

This was useful too; I'm just happy we're going to have a BOOK, a real COOKBOOK for chronically ill and disabled people TOO.

[grandmatapati]

As soon as I read this article I ordered a copy for myself. I prefer physical books for cookbooks so I am waiting for it to arrive next Monday. (I enjoy flipping through, discovering interesting recipes and seeing the pictures without being online.)

This is the book I've been dying to read, as I told Jules when I found him on twitter. He's very kind and says he looks forward to hearing what I think after I've had a chance to read and use it.

Before this the only thing I found was a guide to baking with brain fog on the King Arthur's flour site. Useful but I needed so much more.

I look forward to more volumes, such as Cripping Your Outdoor Kitchen. I'm guessing this first book will start many conversations and that will lead to a mass sharing of tips and tricks throughout the Disability Universe. We Spoonies already discuss getting calories in on days when it seems impossible. But this makes me think that cooking more often may be doable with a bit of guidance.

[grandmatapati]

Every single time I see a take that amounts to "if you write about X happening, or like fiction where X happens, you like X" I'm reminded of this one time I was at a casual friends house as a young kid. We were in her room, pretending to "be orphans" escaping from an evil orphanage and having to take care of each other and fend for ourselves. It was all very Little Orphan Annie/All Dogs Go to Heaven and based on the 80s pop media.

And this girl's mom comes in, hears what we're playing and gets all MAD and UPSET. She says that if we play act something, it's because we want it to happen. So her daughter must WANT HER TO DIE.

First off lady, we were 6 year year olds, so take it down several notches. We barely had a concept of mortality for fucks sake. She made us feel so guilty and ashamed, because she was taking our game personally.

Now I have a 5 year old. And sometimes she looks at me and says "pretend you're dead, and I have to -" Whatever it is. Some adult task she's assigned herself.

And it's just so transparently obvious that she's practicing the idea of having to do things on her own. Which is exactly what 5 year olds are supposed to do. I actually find it very flattering that the only way she can envision me not being available to help her is to be literally deceased. Otherwise, obviously, she wouldn't have to do scary hard things alone.

It's a natural coping mechanism. She's self-soothing about what would happen if I wasn't there by play-acting independence in a perfectly safe environment. She's also practicing skills she needs, and making up excuses for practicing them on her own, without taking on the responsibility of being able to do them by herself all the time yet.

Humans mentally rehearse bad this in their brains all the time. We can do that by ruminating- going over worries over and over again, which tends to lead to anxiety and helplessness and depression. Or we can do it with a sense of play- by recognizing that the fiction is fiction and we can dip our toe into these experiences and expose ourselves to bad things without actually being injured.

My daughter does not want me dead. And I don't want bad things to happen in real life. But fiction and pretend help me face the horrors of the world and think about them without collapsing or messing myself up mentally.

[grandmatapati]

Ok so I’ve found a way to describe what Neurodivergent Can’t Do Task Mode™ feels like to neurotypicals

So you know how you can’t make yourself put your hand down on a hot stovetop? There’s a part of your brain that stops you from doing that? That’s what Neurodivergent Can’t Do Task Mode™ feels like

Even if we want to do it, there’s a barrier stopping us from doing it, and it’s really hard to override

And why does our brain see the task as a hot stovetop? Because when neurotypicals finish a task, they get serotonin, but we don’t get that satisfaction after completing a task. A neurotypical wouldn’t get serotonin from putting their hand on a hot stovetop, it would just hurt. When we can’t do a task, it’s because our brain knows that the task will hurt (metaphorically) and wants to avoid that.

It’s not that we’re choosing not to do the task, it’s that our brain is physically preventing us from doing it.

Neurotypicals can and should reblog but please don’t add anything

(Sorry/not sorry about the random bolding, it makes it easier for us to read)

[grandmatapati]

It's your party bus rental

I keep seeing the party bus post on Facebook where they suggest the ideal would be one that goes to places like bookstores and parks. People add in yarn shops and thrift stores and other places.

THERE IS NO REASON WE CAN'T CREATE OUR OWN IDEAL PARTY BUS OR LIMO EXPERIENCE. Get together with friends and plan one!

[grandmatapati]

Reminder that capitalism is the death of art

[grandmatapati]

Photo of my grandson Valente, daughter Ramya and granddaughter Zaman.

Today would have been Ramya's 44th birthday. I don't believe in "heavenly" birthdays. Her years here on Earth took up the time it did and if there is an after life (I'm open minded) it started anew last January. The life she had with her children is no more.

The love she created and gave through her children is still here and they show it every day.

[grandmatapati]

This reminds me of another account of a husband who couldn't handle his wife's career success but he became physically violent because he was also a writer--just less successful. By the end of that article we find out that she still keeps a low profile because he continues to be a threat.

Make no mistake, when a spouse doesn't share equally in the child rearing and housework, they are stealing hours out of your life. Never tolerate that! Life is short and none of us knows how many days we have ahead of us.

In addition to the misogyny, it's clear that writing as a profession is devalued by the ex-husband and his attorney. Apparently what they do is more important. Let me just say that as a chronic pain patient, the written word has helped keep me alive. I'm so thankful to every writer whose book has helped me cope with pain, inspired me and informed me. Writing matters.