gravitydick - Tumblr blog

gravitydick · 6 years ago

Text

I made a decision. I went out to the East Coast with the intent to save my marriage but instead I wounded up with a truth I already had an idea of. There were a lot of “signs” but the simple fact that it felt like it was all made up in my own head, gave me hope. I found much more than “signs.” I found truth. I found out that you had cheated on me. You betrayed everything that we had ever vowed to each other. You took advantage of the fact that I stayed behind in the West Coast so that you could flourish and get away from your own family’s mess. You found comfort in someone else while I was sinking in my self consuming thoughts. You admitted that it was a game and that it meant nothing.

I made a decision. When I returned to the West Coast, I didn’t allow myself to continue sinking. Instead I rebuilt what had been decaying within myself. I was concerned that maybe I was bottling up tears and not expressing a “heart break” the proper way. Part of my process was moving out and taking everything that belonged to me. If I had no warning on what you were doing, why would you deserve one?

I made a decision. I’ve moved on. I can look you in the eye and say that I gave it my all. I can say that I was a loving and caring person for another human being. I can say that I have always loved me more and if I can’t pick me over everything else, who will?

If you did this while you loved me, imagine what else you’re capable of...