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End of Two

If a picture is worth a thousand words, I am afraid I don’t have enough space on this blog for all the thoughts and feelings I had tonight. After work, we took a drive out to a nursery to buy some plants for the garden and do some other small errands. It was the perfect sunny spring evening with the perfect temperature and the perfect breeze. When we got to the nursery, it was calm and the…

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9 months is a short and long time all at once. I am so grateful we've been able to experience this together after so many years, and life will completely change very soon.

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This post goes back to the beginning of pregnancy #2, when we found out that the second embryo transfer was successful. After the first embryo's story ended too soon, we were hesitant, but thankfully the excitement has continued.

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Embryo transfer #2

Previous: Abortion August 24, 2024 The week of our 8th wedding anniversary. Once again not something we imagined we would be doing surrounding a life event. This time feels different. I think it feels almost like our 2nd IUI. We know what to expect now and the trip into the fertility clinic feels so routine and uneventful. It’s nice to feel comfortable about these things. Another difference…

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Abortion

After many years of trying to have a baby, our first pregnancy ended with an abortion. I think it’s important to take the time to address the reality of the situation.

Trigger Warning; Abortion/Miscarriage/Loss. Previous: Embryo Transfer #1 Throughout my entire childhood, I always knew that my mom had trouble getting pregnant and ended up going through 5 miscarriages before I was born. I listened to her talk about it, and I knew that she had names chosen out for each one of the siblings that I never had. I never quite knew how to feel for her. I never…

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Embryo Transfer #1

We talk about what it's like to have our first IVF embryo transfer.

Previous: Andrea Part 5: Stims May 7th, 2024 The mood going into our first embryo transfer was optimism and excitement, finally being here and feeling so close after many years. Before the procedure, Andrea needed to have a full bladder. When we got to the front counter to check in, I told her I was going to go to the washroom and the person at the counter joked that I had to have a full…

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Fertility Part 22: Egg retrieval/Embryos

Embryos are not babies. But they are a critical step. In this part of our journey, I tell you all about how many embryos we get, and how we got them.

Previous: Fertility Part 21: Follicles We drove into Vancouver in the morning, April 2,2024. The night before felt strange, not having any other injections to do, but it was oddly relieving as well. We got checked in pretty quickly and set up in a prep and recovery bay. They came to take her blood pressure and other vitals, talked through the entire procedure, and put in her IV. Andrea had a…

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Fertility Part 21: Follicles

After doing "Stims", we find out how many follicles are growing. The hope is that we can retrieve as many eggs as possible from them to become embryos. #donorconceived #IVF #IUI #infertility #maleinfertility #donorsperm #ttc #ttccommunity

Previous: Andrea Part 5: Stims I wrote this on Easter morning (March 31, 2024). As I sit in our Fertility clinic in Vancouver on Easter Sunday morning (2024), I’m a little scared and a little excited. At this point we’ve done 9 days of injections and this is the first ultrasound that should tell us how many eggs are growing. Obviously a high number is good, but also if it’s too high then my…

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Andrea Part 5: Stims

Andrea shares the next part of our journey from her perspective. This time focuses on the injections needed to grow the eggs needed for IVF. #ivf #iui #donorsperm #ttccommunity #mfi #azoospermia #infertilityawareness #fertilityjourney #ttc

It is my 30th birthday. A Saturday. I haven’t slept that well (no surprise there). I have a medication centre set up in my dining room. I have boxes of medications, needles, alcohol swabs, and treats for after. Our drink fridge is now also a medication fridge and it is from there that I take my first box. We had picked up the medications the week before from the pharmacy. When the prescriptions…

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Infertility Part 16: Getting Ready

Previous: Infertility Part 15: Final Diagnosis As I mentioned in my last post, once my own final diagnosis was complete, we were able to move forward with our next steps at the fertility clinic. This process went lightning fast compared to all other aspects thus far. They were in touch very quickly to book appointments for us and get some final testing for Andrea completed. The following all…

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Infertility Part 20: Taking a break

This is quite delayed in getting posted, but sometimes delays are needed in the infertility process as you'll read here. We stopped posting after we suffered a loss but we are glad to be back, walking you through our story. #infertility #IVF #IUI #donor

Written March 2024 about events taking place November 2023 -January 2024 After our third failed IUI, it felt natural to take a bit of a break. For one thing, we were out of donor sperm samples and there were no more available from the same donor, so we knew we would have to wait or find a new donor. I was not ready to go through that all over again yet, and Andrea was not ready to put her body…

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Infertility Part 19: Failed attempts

We did 3 IUI's and while they didn't work, and they were full of heartache along the way, we still learned a lot and are stronger for having gone through it together.

Written Aug/Sep/Oct 2023 We had purchased 3 samples of donor sperm for our IUI’s (Intrauterine Insemination). Read more about the prep and first attempt here. The first one had some physical symptoms attached to it that were new for Andrea. We didn’t know what they meant, but we tried not to read into it too much. We wanted to keep our expectations in check, and eventually it resulted in a…

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Infertility Part 18: First IUI

This is the first big procedure and it really felt like a special moment. We had waited a long time to get here and finally feel the real possibility of a pregnancy.

Pre-IUI After going through the process of purchasing donor sperm, it was delivered to the clinic from the sperm bank just in time for Andrea’s cycle, which meant that we could get started right away, the very first month. In preparation for the first IUI (Intrauterine Insemination) procedure, Andrea had to call the clinic on day 1 of her period, and then get an appointment booked for an…

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Infertility Part 17: Sperm Donors

Feelings about donors. I was the first person to suggest using a sperm donor. I did this literally the night of my initial diagnosis. While I knew this was an option we could pursue, and I was immediately willing to put it on the table, it doesn’t mean this was going to be without complications. Somewhere along the way, I recall talking to Andrea about giving birth in the future and the…

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Do you guys ever think about dying?

Fear of the worst, but Gratitude for the best. I feel like that's currently the way I feel about my 30's.

Last summer, a quote became incredibly well known when the movie “Barbie” was released. I absolutely love this movie for so many reasons, but the one thing that sticks with me the most internally is the quote that I have made the title of this post – “Do you guys ever think about dying?” When I watched Barbie deal with the existential death anxiety that suddenly falls upon her, I understood it…

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Infertility Part 15: Final Diagnosis

My final male infertility diagnosis brings finality but also allows us to move in new directions.

As I wrote in Infertility #12: Urologist, I had already seen a regular urologist for an initial referral, a physical exam, and then a test called a Karyotype. With the Karyotype, I had my genetics tested to see if I was possibly born with an additional chromosome or if any had odd shapes or sizes, or possibly if I was missing any whole chromosomes. It also would diagnose something like…

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Feeling of family

My wife's grandmother died very early this year, and while I was with the family for the memorial, I wrote this post. The entire family means so much to me, and it all began with the family matriarch. While she has passed on, her love will never fade.

My wife’s grandma died earlier this year. She was 98 years old, intelligent and spry. I haven’t known her long compared to the rest of her family, obviously, only joining the family officially 7 years ago, but yet she quickly became my grandma as well. She was a wonderful woman who was, I believe, the epitome of a grandma. She showed interest and excitement to all she encountered, she baked,…