happytodayblog

[happytodayblog]

Stress

I’ve been around it a lot lately. I’ve realised my past points weren’t as effective as I might have liked, but I guess this is progress. I hope anyone who sees this knows that this is more of a safe space than an advice page. This is for you to see someone else’s ups and downs and to see how they are doing. Do you know what I’ve been doing? Working on my understanding. Whether its reading, watching Ted talks or speaking to those around me. I really recommend it. If anyone needs to talk, just use my contact details :) 

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Staying Calm in an Argument

How do you preserve an emotion? You can’t pluck it out and sit it in vinegar. So, how do you manage to stay happy all the time? 

If you don’t find that thinking about your actions, counting to ten or stepping away from something can help you remain in a calm mood, then do this. Whenever you are around someone who has got it out for you or you know that they are going to put you in a crappy mood, turn on what I like to call, Person 2. We all have that half of ourselves who we turn on when we are in public or doing a certain activity that is a little bit out of our comfort zone, so why not turn it on when we are trying to stay happy. 

When I am confronted or approached by someone who wants to have an argument, I start to just listen to what they have to say. Let them get all of their information out, and when you think they are finished, say “Is there anything else you would like to say, because I would like to say my half now?” This has to be said calmly and without a confrontational tone, to prevent this, try saying it quietly and with soft mouth movements- this creates the impression that you are calm. If they say no, you tell your side of the story with a polite and non-confrontational tone. If they say yes, then let them continue on till they are finished and then say what you have to say, but only after you have confirmed that they have finished. If they are trying to interrupt you, you should say, “I will let you add comments to what I am saying when I am finished, in the same manner that I did to you.” This will hopefully calm them down, 

If the argument turns violent, you either remove yourself from the situation or attempt to calm them down. Do not raise your hand to them first or to retaliate, only for self defence. If you want to start the fight, remember that to hit someone over a disagreement is proof that your argument isn’t strong enough to be vocalised. 

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Music + Emotion Control

Some people believe that emotions need to be controlled through meditation or some external force that provides us with our emotional behaviour. And, although meditation is a valid way to control your anger, something that I have found is also a good way to control emotions, is through music. Now, not all of us are musical genius’ and can just pick up a mic and sing out our emotions in perfect key, that doesn’t mean we can’t use music to create ourselves a system of release. As I have said in a previous blog, my family always does this. We play certain music at certain times and without realising, this habit became the way we change our moods. 

This became obvious to me when I had a tough day at school, and although I came home distraught, I heard Paolo Nutini’s Pencil Full Of Lead, and my mood went from damp to sprightly within seconds. This works through association. If I played a song whilst I was going through a hard time and religiously listened to it during that hard time, I would relive those emotions when I listen to that song again in the future. This is also how it works when you're looking for something to calm down or bring up your mood. 

The way to do this successfully would be to play a song or create a playlist when you’re calm or happy and play it all the time, this creates the association. And then, when this emotion is needed, you play the playlist. 

This can also be used when you need to be sad. Say you’ve had a particularly tough week but you’re struggling to let it all out and move on, the only way to get over your emotional draught is to face it head-on. This is why creating playlists is valuable, because you catch exactly how you feel at that moment. That may be why we all have multiple favourite songs. Ones that make us happy, ones that are nostalgic, ones that make us sad. This could be because we do song association automatically, in the same sense that we remember and associate smells. Regardless of why this works, it is an effective way to get yourself where you want in an emotional sense and is maybe worth a try. 

Stay Happy! 

-Emily x 

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Boredom

Boredom... we all feel it at some point. Some more than others. But I’m pretty sure that its fair to say, we’ve all been bored recently. So, in this, I will bring up some hobbies that you can pick up or try out. 

1. Reading 

Reading has become my number one hobby during this confusing time but somehow the aspect of hearing someone else’s world, fictional or non-fictional, has aided me into not feeling so lonely and dull. Some books that I would recommend are- The Handmaids Tale, Emma, Angels and Demons, DaVinci Code, The Kite Runner, These Shallow Graves and The Five People You Meet In Heaven. However, without access to libraries or book stores, it is hard to get a book to read, so, you can use apps such as Wattpad. Although, this is usually used for fanfiction or crap stories written by 12 year old girls (us teens who liked 1D will know this haha), Wattpad has actually given rise to some amazing books and worlds that are worth reading and are usually quite quick to read. Many authors on Wattpad have made series out of there books meaning that you can follow on the story-line without having to wait for ages. 

2. Notebooking 

What I have found to be quite useful, even when I am not bored, is notebooking/scrapbooking. This hobby is easy. Find a notebook, preferably a hardback or one of decent quality, and you can draw or add in cut-outs, making for a pretty book to look at. However, one way to also use a notebook is to relate the cutouts to how you feel or something that has happened recently. This is brilliant for mental health as it allows you to write down/draw out your emotions without feeling ashamed or having the extra pressure to tell someone if you aren’t ready yet. But, to keep in mind that if you do need to speak to somebody, then there are always people around, even if you have to call them because they can’t come over. This account is also available to message if you need any support or just some company. 

3. Movies 

Some of my friends have found that all they can do is watch Netflix, although this isn’t me, I have heard some interesting things about it. Even though the aspect of watching a movie is relatively boring, there are ways to make it more fun, like document what you enjoyed about it or read up on it. My friend has conquered her need to write a Media dissertation and the boring-ness of watching a movie by writing accounts on what she has watched; covering the characters, how you feel about them, the dialogue, the plot, the important scenes. It’s also very useful to read up on the movies and their creators, this gives you an insight into their world and may also spark a passion that you never knew you had for movie directing or acting! 

4.Music 

My family and I have always done this. We have certain times for certain genres of music. For example, when we have a family party- we listen to swing and soul. This is good for mood-relating, which might sound stupid but in a state where you feel stressed and need a pick-me-up, to have a song or a style of music that relates to a happy time that you have had, allows you to pick up your own emotions rather easily. This task can also be used in mixtaping, if you find yourself constantly going back to songs, why not burn them onto a CD? Music can also be used to dance. If you are a dancer or just love a jiggle, create a dance to your favourite song or, for those who have fallen victim due to the current circumstances, learn a tiktok dance... I know, cringe. 

5. Speak to Strangers.

I know what you’re thinking. “Why would she say that!” Well, because I don’t mean speak willy-nilly to strangers. There is an app called ‘Slowly’ that allows you to have pen-pals from all over the world and, because it’s meant to imitate actual pen-palling, it takes a couple of hours to send and receive messages to allow the process to seem authentic. This is a spectacular way to learn about new cultures and make new friends from all around the world. Another thing that I have found myself doing, for all the confident people out there, is to speak to someone that you have always wanted to speak to but have never had the chance. I spend all my time thinking ‘why don’t people just go up to others and say hi?’ and the answer is, that people think that its going to be awkward or strange. The truth is, that if there is someone in your school or work or club that you have never spoken to, the chances are that they probably want to have a relationship with you as well, they’re also just scared. This is why I think this time should be used to reach out to people that you know from work or school and create a stronger relationship. It means that when we do go back into society, we have people to turn to and speak to about this horrific time. 

6. Do an online college course

This is for all my little nerds out there or those who just want to be an intellectual for once. School may seem crap but we all know that when you aren’t there, you secretly miss the capability to learn new things all the time. The solution to this is the website Future Learn. This website has courses ranging from Medicine to Society and would be a great way to improve your CV or application to University/College as well as curing boredom. 

7. Bucket-list 

Since I haven’t been using my time wisely, I’ve been ‘Motivation Bucket-listing’. This is when you make a bucket-list of your aspirations. For example, I want to go into medicine, so on my bucket-list there are many things to do with applying such as ways to volunteer or get experience. You can also make it so that beside every aspiration is why you want to do it and why you should be doing it now instead of procrastinating. This makes you more motivated to do the things you need to and not just sit about and do nothing (however, if you need a break, TAKE ONE). 

8.Make Sure Everyone is Fine. 

We all know someone who will be struggling during these times, so why not make sure they are okay. I have a friend who doesn’t have a lot of money and although I am unable to get in touch with him all the time, I have made sure that there are people looking out for him when I can’t be there. You can also make people little videos of why you miss them, I’ve made then containing compilations of my favourite times with them and what I want to do when we get back to normal, this has allowed us to remain close and think of the future and not dwell in the present. 

9. Write. 

Back to Wattpad. Write something small and sweet or big and in-depth. This can be a good way to spend your time but also get feedback on your literacy skills thanks to the comment section. I’m currently in the midst of writing an LGBT wattpad novel that will be out soon and have found that this is a very good way to keep on top of staying mentally active and keep my imagination running wild. You can also use Archiveofourown or even tumblr. 

10. Meditate/Relax  

Everyone blows off Meditation like its something to be ignored but its extremely helpful. Meditation doesn’t need to be sitting in silence (although technically it does but this is an alternative/interpretation) you can be sitting listening to a song with your eyes closed or sitting in your back garden with the sun out. Really, its just relaxing, but its necessary for life. Many studies show that cultures that make time for relaxation have better life-styles and health rates, meaning that you could literally be making yourself a better person by doing nothing at all. 

That’s all I have the now! This is based off of my own experiences with boredom so it may not be brilliant but it definitely works for me and keeps my happy. If you want to add anything or talk about anything, just message me!! 

-Emily x 

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A Big Hello- Introduction

Hello, 

I am here to help whoever needs help. Whether this is to do with how happy you are, regaining motivation, staying safe, dealing with the loss of a loved one or someone you were close to, dealing with suicidal thoughts, talking to someone who may be experiencing suicidal thoughts, etc. 

I am a teen but I have spent most of my life working with others and ensuring that people are okay. I have a lot of experience with and around people with mental health issues and suicidal tendencies, this makes me rather good (if I may say so myself) at talking to people who are affected by both. If you have a need to speak to someone about these issues, I am always here, my instagram and snapchat are also in the description if you would rather talk there. 

In this blog I will be posting ways to deal with boredom, motivation, suicidal thoughts and stress as I am impacted by these personally and feel they need more coverage. If you would like some coverage on other topics, I would be more than happy to post on them or help. 

DISCLAIMER- IF YOU ARE SENSITIVE TO THE TOPIC OF COVID-19 OR IT IS A TRIGGER , PLEASE DO NOT READ THE NEXT PART OR READ WITH CAUTION

I am writing this during COVID-19 and don’t mind talking about the pandemic as I know this is hard for many people right now. This blog will talk about the situation so if you aren’t comfortable please do not read or look out for the disclaimers, such as the one above. 

DISCLAIMER OVER

Thank you for reading this, I hope you stay tuned for the next posts! 

-Emily