harlisims - Tumblr blog

[harlisims]

Me an my best friend on our way to see each other

[harlisims]

[harlisims]

ive decided ive given up. entirely. theres no use for me anywhere. noone wants me around, noone really cares. im tired... ive tried.... i cant. im defeated. im outnumbered.

[harlisims]

still trying to see the positives

Im still stuck in a never ending depression. im still having thoughts that scare me immensly and im still trying to figure out why people even deal with me. most dont. they would rather watch me struggle and live on the street. ive applied for every single place in town thats hiring, and havent gotten a call back. I have caseworkers that are supposed to be helping me with my living situation, but wont fucking do their jobs knowing that its just been getting worse and worse as a whole.

People dont understand that i dont choose to live like this. its not so easy to get a job and Adult like other normally functioning adults. I woke up this morning in tears BECAUSE i woke up this morning. Its like every single person that could help me out is watching me and finding pleasure in my hardships... I’d Pray, but i dont believe in god. If it exists, it truly has to be a sadistic motherfucker to watch while people suffer daily to give no relief to their pain.

my body grows tired and tired of living like this. i dont know for how much longer i can do this... 

[harlisims]

[harlisims]

Random question but does it make you happy that you may never have to update the autumn mod again for new worlds after seasons is out

gfhr yes actually it makes me very happy ;-; anytime a new pack came out i was torn between wanting new plants and worlds and not wanting to recolor more trees lmao but omg i’m free now and i’m sure real autumn is gonna be x356 more awesome, this is the one pack that was always most important to me ;–;

[harlisims]

HAPPY ANNIVERSARY OVERWATCH

I LOVE THE NEW SKIN FOR JACK!!!!

might do prints of this in the future?

[harlisims]

Drugs felt better than your love ever did.

[harlisims]

“even though i didn’t want people to know how suicidal i was, i kept joking about suicide”

— because maybe i didn’t just want people to know, i wanted people to help

[harlisims]

i have nowhere else to post this so heres a vent post.

i come on tumblr because none of my friends have a tumblr. 99.9% of my time on here i spend rereading icecry comics, or looking for Sims 4 cc.. I come to tumblr to escape my reality, and to let out my thoughts that i cant speak. I want my voice heard, but i dont want to be punished or scruitinized for what i have to say.

I have many mental illnesses, for which i do not treat with meds in anyway. ive been med free since april of 2011, but as of late, my normal coping skills arent working like they normally would. the most theraputic of these, Building houses on TS4, hasnt been working like it normally does. Im overthinking way more than i should, my game normally helps me escape my harsh reality of homelessness and despair. On May 2,2018 at 7:49pm, i suffered a miscarrriage of a child i never thought id be able to have, and its been literally fucking with my head. My heart yearns for a man who doesnt love, or even like, me (NOT THE FATHER, THANK GOD) Im fighting to get my 3 wonderful kiddos out of the system, and im currently in recovery from an intense cocaine and Methamphetamine addiction, all while being trapped in my Borderline Personailty Disorder. being homeless helps none of these things in the slightest. I wear one hell of a mask. No, im not suicidal, or homicidal... Its just my body just feels like its ready to give up. i just want to stop thinking, and im not able to trust anyone.

so, i put my trust, and my overthinking, on tumblr. if i must blog, i feel like i can do it here safely, without being judged, hated or mocked.

[harlisims]

My Daughter Turned 4 yesterday, and i couldnt be any prouder of this truly amazing child.Happy Birthday Pantera!

[harlisims]

Been a long time since ive posted. working on some coll CC for TS4 thats long overdue. any ideas lmk

[harlisims]

[harlisims]

[harlisims]

[harlisims]

3 M's Marylin Mary Jane Marcelline

[harlisims]

We are the Crystal Sims! #TheSims4 #TS4StevenUniverse #StevenUniverse