hauskaat

[hauskaat]

Have u seen my cover of Childish Gambino's "Heartbeat" yet? psst...it's in Chinese! produced with my good friend Mental Kryptonite. animation by Sense of None. proud of our work, check it out <3

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mirror, mirror on the wall

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Jenyi · YANG

Listen to YANG at least once a day for good vibes. ☺️✨

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hello 👋

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Afterparty

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do you ever feel like you're going around in circles?

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stick to the script

So 2 weeks ago, I got COVID-19 while traveling back from Bali. Getting sick and being quarantined forced me to face some of my most uncomfortable fears, and since I had nothing to do but sleep all day, I really had a lot of time to think. I realized that I harbor some deep insecurities about being able to follow through. Most of that is tied to an insecure money mindset, but it also affects me in my skill-building and staying consistent with my commitments.

For example, when I start feeling insecure, I end up finding excuses to quit my commitments, such as jobs, classes, or other programs I’m a part of. I noticed myself doing this with my fitness trainer during the quarantine, as I started panicking about not being able to afford it, not knowing how long I was going to be out of work for. I tend to have this doomsday approach - like, once I hit a roadblock I project it into the future as if there is no hope at all.

This is a horrible habit to have! However, I’m glad I’m becoming increasingly aware of it. Hopefully, awareness can help me nip it in the bud. I will say, though, that not all of it is unfounded. Sometimes, it is a good idea to reevaluate the situation and be realistic as circumstances change. For example, one goal of mine this year is to get out of debt - particularly, the credit card debt I racked up over these last 2 years while trying to survive the pandemic. I have to be realistic about what I’m expecting to make this month, especially since I wasn’t able to work for half the month due to being quarantined with COVID. And if that means I need to cut some expenses for the time being, I think that’s ok.

I’ve been looking for more tools to help me stay aligned and stick to the script. I have a few goals this year, and since the year is more than halfway through, I think it’s a good time to reevaluate and see what’s not working and readjust. I set a goal to get myself out of debt, and though I have been making good progress, it’s just not consistent. I think I have to focus on not giving up. Like, if I take two steps backwards, but the next step is forwards, then I have to focus on that step forward, and not let the backwards steps discourage me. I found a new tool that I’m excited to try - it’s called You Need A Budget and I really think this might be a game changer for me. With other budgeting apps, they merely track your spending, but this one has a unique approach of assigning your income to various categories as it comes in - so you sort of pre-allocate your spending ahead of time. I feel like this might just be the tool I need to get myself to the finish line.

I feel this way about music, too. Looking back at these last 10 years, I had so many start and stops, and most of them were all due to myself. Nobody was getting in the way but myself. And I have to take full accountability for that. Every time I got close to making some progress, I’d get frustrated or feel financially insecure and start focusing on all the wrong things. I think about how I was learning so much and finally feeling on the right track when I was studying at Berklee, and how my fixation on fear of debt ultimately led me to drop out and lose the scholarship money I did have. And look at me now, 9 years later, in the very debt I was afraid of, and for what? Not even tuition, but for frivolous credit card debt.

I don’t mean to beat myself up - I just want to call it out because I think being honest with myself about my bad habits is the first step. The next step is to make up my mind to reach my goals - no matter how many times I have to start again. I’ve made up my mind that even if I have to crawl there, I am going to reach my goals. I know I can do it!

I’ve learned so much in this process, and I think it is all finally just starting to make sense to me. I have to push through the fear and insecurities, and remind myself that those aren’t real - those are just bad habits, habitual negative frames of thinking that my mind is conditioned to default to. But I can readjust to a new paradigm - one that views all of this as a learning curve, lessons on my way to acheiving my goals. As long as I stick to the script, I know I’ll get there.

xx

[hauskaat]

keep your cards close to your chest

sometimes, you just gotta keep a good thing to yourself so others don’t ruin it. most of the time i like sharing ~ but people can trample things sometimes. so some things are nice to keep close to your chest - at least until the time is right.

[hauskaat]

saving this for my modern industrial mood board for my new(ish) apartment when I finally get around to getting some furniture

Industrial Style Apartment

© K. Kildinov

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a reminder.

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i got me some sunshine on a cloudy day ~

photos by Cameo Adele.

Stream “Sunshine” by Hauskaat on all streaming platforms! 🌤 

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My single “Sunshine” is now out for your listening pleasure! Stream and add to your Spotify/Apple Music playlists! <3

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Starting Over

Every now and then, I get this urge to start over. I used to roll with it. I'd pick up and move to a different city. Another country. Break up with my relationship. Quit my job. But I realized that this was just the uncomfortable feeling of growth that I was running from. Every time I was in an uncomfortable situation where life was challenging me to test my limits, I would attempt to ease the tension by diverting my energy all together. Years of blocking my own blessings has taught me to instead embody the stillness and sit in the discomfort. I know now that on the other side of that discomfort is leveling up, communication, understanding, and hard-earned wisdom. I heard a quote today that our brains learn from a series of mini-shocks (from a book titled Anti-Fragile, which I have yet to read but is on my list), sort of like the same way our muscles develop in the gym through pushing our reps to the point of fatigue. Then you get back in the gym the next day, and miraculously you can lift a little more. Then a little more. Before you know it, you've blown completely past what you thought you were capable of.

I've been thinking about this today because I'm feeling that familiar urge again. I know it's because I'm growing, and I'm being put in situations that are testing my capabilities and limits in a positive way. And that old fear of not being good enough creeps in. I must remind myself to keep going. Consistency is so important in reaching your goals and full potential, and I'm just now starting to understand how important it really is.

I'm so excited at what God has put in store for me, but I have so many moments of weakness where I keep comparing myself to others, or to an ideal image in my mind. I must remind myself to stay focused on the goal and appreciate the presence of every situation. It's easy to take for granted what you have once you have it, and forget how much you wanted it when it was just out of reach. I hope I can always stay humble and grateful for everything God has chosen to bless me with.

xx

[hauskaat]

minimalism + fashion/luxury

I just watched “The Minimalists” on Netflix, and I’m really drawn to the idea of minimalism now. I’ve always felt weighed down by my things, and don’t like to hold on to stuff.  I read The Life Changing Magic of Tidying Up by Marie Kondo a couple years ago when my sister gifted it to me, so I’m aware of the concept of only keeping things that spark joy. However, I do know that I love fashion and I love the idea of luxury - living a life of abundance and thriving in your environment. Is it possible, then, to become a minimalist while still staying fashionable and indulging in luxury?

I think the idea of minimalism is about an awareness of letting go of attachment to things. It shifts the focus back to people and relationships. In this sense, I know that I align with the movement. However, I love things that are aesthetically pleasing, and I don’t necessarily agree with the notion that everything you own must serve a function. Sometimes, you can appreciate something just for its beauty, and nothing else. Maybe the joy it brings you is the function, then, in a broader sense of the word, and the function is not a strictly utilitarian one.

I’m curious if anybody has tried living a life of minimalist luxury. I’m still pretty new to the idea of minimalism, but I’m compelled to give it a try with the 30-day challenge that The Minimalists suggest: spend the next 30 days getting rid of 1 thing on day 1, 2 things on day 2, 3 things on day 3, up to 30 days. I think this might be a nice way for me to test the waters and see if this lifestyle could be a fit for me.

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this perfectly encapsulates exactly how I feel about requests. not against it but gotta go with the flow. and i’ve been more inclined to take a risk too on somebody’s request but i have found those “I promise the crowd is gonna be HYPE” songs to be a toss-up. also people don’t realize how EXTREME the variants in tastes of music are among different crowds.

thanks for sharing!

Why DJs don’t like taking requests.

“So, can you play that Fetty Wap “Trap Queen?” What do you mean you’ll play it later, why can’t you play it now? Play it next!!”

“Can you play something that I can dance to? I don’t even know this song that’s on right now, how can I dance to it? Put on Drip Drop from Empire!”

“Since it’s my friend Caroline’s birthday, can you play Neil Diamond “Sweet Caroline” for her? Wait, you don’t have that song? How do you call yourself a DJ and you don’t have that song?”

“Can you play any song from Beyonce?” *FIVE MINUTES LATER* “Why didn’t you play anything yet? Oh, you played “Get me bodied,” that’s old…how about Dangerously in love?”

“Can you play something more Ratchet? Just, anything, Ratchet. We want to turn up!”

“Why haven’t you played any Calypso music? What do you mean this crowd won’t like it? How do you know if you don’t play it?”

“Can you play “Shoot the club up?” Why can’t you play it? Not even as the last song?”

These are all the types of things DJs tend to hear all night, in the case that we’re DJing a club or party where the club goers have the ability to walk up and talk to us. I’ve heard a variant of each of those quotes…and the one about “Sweet Caroline” actually happened to me, while DJing at a bar. Dude was actually mad too, like he was going to revoke my DJ license for not having that song.

So…why don’t DJ’s play certain requests right away, if at all? Why do some DJ’s actually hate requests as a whole? Regardless of how much DJ’s are seen as celebrities, we’re still in the service industry, and our main job is to please the customers and patrons. However, unlike a chef, who’s job is to specifically serve each individual in attendance…our overall job requires us to please the entire crowd, along with the stakeholders (club owner, promoter, client that hires us) and not just individuals.

With that, I’m going to list some reasons that DJ’s may not respond to a person’s requests.

1. In many cases, we plan to play the song that is requested, but we know that it won’t have the same impact if it’s played too early. Most of us wait until the climax of the party to drop the biggest songs, because they’re guaranteed to get the best reaction at this point. Playing a song too early will not incite the same reaction, and we always prefer playing these songs once we know that the party has the peak number of occupants. 

What’s hilarious is when someone will ask for the absolute hottest song out, and tell you, “I bet the crowd will get HYPE if you drop that!” And when you drop it, they come up to you like “SEE! I told you it would get the crowd hype!” Good DJ’s will always know what the hottest song is, but we realize that the timing is most important.

2. Some songs that are requested just don’t fit the direction we are headed for the night, even when they are great, classic songs. There are songs that we personally love, yet we realize that they aren’t meant to be played at the specific party or event. In these cases, we are happy to hear that someone has the same taste in music that we have….but it still doesn’t mean it’s worth playing, since we’re there to please the entire crowd and not just ourselves. 

For example, If I’m on a 2015 Trap set, I’m not going to jump straight into 2Pac “I get around” for my next song. I may get to it in 15 minutes, or 90 minutes, but surely not right away unless Pac himself walks in the club.

In some extreme cases, people may ask for songs that completely clash with the mood of a party or event. Imagine someone asking for Tevin Campbell “Can we talk” at a high energy Sports event…or asking for C-Murder “Down for my N’s” while we’re playing a slow jam set. As bizarre as it sounds, many people want to hear what they want to hear, when they want to hear it…so they’ll completely disregard the crowd and mood and ask for the song of their choice.

3. Some songs are just too inappropriate for the crowd, even when it’s the clean version. One of the wildest experiences I can remember was going to a very upscale party in High School held by Jack & Jill, where it was all teenagers who were dressed semi-formal, and there were just as many parents in attendance. The DJ decided to play Snoop’s “Ain’t no fun”..and this was in L.A., back in 1999…so that’s like a crowd favorite. He thought he was smart by just cutting out the volume at the cuss words, but this gave the complete opposite reaction from what he intended, because this made all of us sing the cuss words extremely loud! I remember when the lines came on that said “So you gave me all ya….” and the ENTIRE crowd sang in harmony about the revered cat, in derogatory terms. And when Kurupt’s part came on…yeah…the DJ just had to abruptly cut it and go into Biz Markie “Vapors.” The damage had been done though…ALL the parents looked shocked at a room full of private school/charter school kids singing those words that were banned in their household. Oh well.

4. If we’ve played a song already, chances are, we’ll avoid playing it again. Playing a song twice in one night is like hearing the same joke twice at a comedy club…it’s not going to have the same effect. This relates to #1…we will save a hot song until the time is right, to avoid having to play it twice. Yet, there are people who won’t get to a party until the last hour, and will still ask for these hot songs, and they won’t understand why we don’t want to play it twice.

5. Some DJ’s are too arrogant to realize that some requests may actually make sense. I’ve seen memes and plenty of Tweets from DJ’s who seemingly “hate being told how to do their job.” I’ve seen DJ’s respond to requests by saying “if you worked at McDonald’s, I wouldn’t tell you how to make fries, would I???” But this is surely the wrong attitude to have, and it creates a disconnect between many patrons and DJ’s. I’ve seen DJ’s turn down requests that would actually make the party live, solely because they were too jaded to realize it. DJ’s are a lot more sensitive than people would ever realize, mainly because we have to keep a confident face on at all times in order to maintain control of the crowd.

6. When it comes to most clubs and events, the DJ doesn’t have as much control as you would think. Sure, we do have the library of music, and we likely have 90% of the songs that are requested…but if the person who hired us gives us specific instructions on what and what not to play, we may not be hired again if we don’t follow their direction. In my early days of club DJing, I hated that promoters would make me play ALL R&B for the first hour, and then for the last 30 minutes…but after years of working clubs, it makes a lot more sense.

Although it shouldn’t be a surprise, many club owners and promoters will tell us not to play “too much Rap,” especially in the case that they don’t want the crowd to become too Bl…especially in the case that they don’t want to turn off those in the crowd who may not love Rap as much. 

Also, when a DJ is playing for a private event, many clients actually tell us not to play certain songs. Whether it’s a Wedding, Birthday Party, Divorce Party, or whatever it may be…many clients just don’t want us to play certain songs that might actually work great for the crowd. Surprisingly, one of my best friends demanded that his DJ didn’t play “The Wobble” at his Wedding. This can make it challenging for the DJ, especially when we know all the aunties are going to hate us for not playing it.

7. Many of us realize that even if 2-3 people are requesting a song, it doesn’t at all mean the entire crowd wants to hear it. If I played even half the requested songs that I may get in a specific night, people would look at me crazy. The wild thing is when people ask for songs, and then say, “man, I PROMISE the whole club will go wild if you play it!” There have actually been cases on both sides where these requests have worked great for me, and horrible for me, after taking a gamble and playing a song that I wasn’t sure about.

8. Every club night has a different format. Although modern commercial music is always the most common, the format or theme may be 80′s/90′s, or Rare Grooves, or EDM/Electro, or Reggae Night, or Throwback Hip Hop classics. Whatever the case may be, the DJ may not be open to playing songs that don’t fit the format. It can be confusing, especially since most clubs have a different format every night. When songs don’t match the format, it can be difficult or even impossible to slide them in the mix for the night. 

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Now….when do we play requests? Does this mean that you should never request a song, ever? How can you ask for a song without being offensive? Every DJ is different, but there are a good number of us who don’t at all mind requests, as long as they’re made in a courteous manner. Here’s a few examples of what most of us find to be reasonable.

“What’s up! You’re rocking it for real! When you get a chance, can you play anything from Rihanna?”

“Man, it’s my boy’s birthday, and he would go nuts if you played Meek Mill “Dreams and Nightmares!” If you can get that in, we’ll appreciate it!”

“If you happen to get into a Reggae set, can you play Gyptian ‘Hold yuh?’”

“I see you’re playing Biggie ‘Get money’…could you possibly get ‘All about the Benjamins’ in there too?”

Any variant of those works, along with plenty others. Just as with anything else in life, DJ’s respond best to positivity. Telling the DJ that you don’t like the song he’s playing, or constantly begging him for the same song over and over will likely annoy us, and you may not hear your song until you get into your car and play it on your iPod. In this era of social media, you can also use Twitter or Instagram to make requests. Some clubs use hashtags, and the DJ’s can quickly search these hashtags or just check their own mentions to see what is requested.

Oh….and by the way, I downloaded “Sweet Caroline.” It actually went off when I played it at an event for the Special Olympics. 

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[hauskaat]

Have you checked out my music video for “I Got an Ex” yet? 😏

Watch here: https://youtu.be/uYHj_dYTWa8

What’s your favorite move?