healinghitsthefan - Tumblr blog

[healinghitsthefan]

Rest Easy Shorty

I remember I could tell her, I don't like you and she'd say I don't like you either, ya mama. And I'd look at her like girl it's you but go off.

It wasn't until her deathbed that we truly understood one another. It wasn't until she became my roommate that I saw her wounds. It wasn't until the end that I could call you my friend. Cause we know Black mamas are quick to tell you, I'm not one of your little friends. 

I felt like my mom spent so much time being superwoman that failed to realize the trauma she was passing down. To the mothers with daughters, your bond with your daughter is far more important that dominance. When you die, it’s the bond that keeps her going, not control. It's the morals and value’s you taught that keep her afloat, not the times you trash talked about her. Be a little kinder today

[healinghitsthefan]

Hi Again

I think its so easy to fall off or be so inconsistent with this blog because I’m inconsistent with myself. I do not enjoy routines. I do not enjoy because conformed to societies views on work, and day to day life. I feel often times that I just don’t belong here. There’s so many things that I’ve been awakened to it and its scary sometimes. How easily we become brainwashed. How easy it was to control the masses into thinking that this is the way life was intended to be. I’ve learned to release control and realize that I am merely the universe having a human experience. Well I am that rebellious part of the universe that doesn’t agree with capitalism and the way that entity destroys everything around them. 

[healinghitsthefan]

Untitled for now

I know I'm no Jazmine Sullivan but I’m okay admitting that I lost one A good one, You were my flower and I realize that this here tower was meant crash We werent meant to last, two hearts interwined with no direct line to source is a dangerous position Like how could that go missing? Did I really follow my intuition or did I act out of ego I said I had friends on the other side and you took it deliberately as a caution sign When all I wanted to do was to reveal to you my lifeline, a higher power that could keep us safe until I realized how deep your love was cause we’re living in a world of fools who are breaking us down And maybe I shouldn’t have left town. I was on a mission, Something just wasn’t clicking in my mental its just not that simple It’s just one of those days don’t take it personal Monica on the aux Well I only wanna make things right before you walk out my life I hope I’m forgiven but not to mention I’m crazy about you And maybe I’m a little weird for how this message is coming through But as my greatest teacher you deserve rounds for the shit I put you through I’m sorry, maybe after these 32 sessions I would’ve learned to keep notes like this to myself But there was something about this Summer that made me want to become a scientist to realize That I’m not as s-e-l-f d-e-s-t-r-u-c-t-i-v-e as I lead you to believe. I’m the magician, I got tricks up my sleeve My defense mechanism was to get up and leave cause I couldn’t tell where you were leading me Silly of me, to not be able to see you were everything I was hoping for and even a little more I’ll be on my healing journey, but I’ll always leave the door open for you

[healinghitsthefan]

Do you really miss them?

Would you believe that the people you miss aren't even the same? Have you grasped the concept that what you miss may or may not be the ideal of them you created in you head....

[healinghitsthefan]

I’m baaaaaaaack

I’ve missed this, this freedom, this privacy, this vulnerability, this peace...  I am a person who constantly gets rocked with life. They say the people who feel the most pain are the most wise. Yet I know that I know nothing at all. I enjoy my journey and I furthermore love passing my knowledge along to the next so that their journeys can be a little easier.  Here’s to growing. Here’s to the pain that changes us into our more evolved versions of ourself. Cheer’s to the love that we feel from our Soul Tribes. 

[healinghitsthefan]

What is your purpose?

How would you feel if you passed away without achieving your goals?

Picture yourself laying in a casket full of untapped potential. Does that imagine make you feel uncomfortable?

Do you plan on hearing job well done  from your creator when its all set and done?

Think about the people your purpose is meant to effect, now get to work.

Procrastination is merely the audacity that God will give you another day to get it done. No day is promised, get to your purpose TODAY. 

Proverbs 18:16 A man's gifts makes room for him and brings him before important people. 

Hey Alexa, Play Bigger by Beyoncé Go be Great, Carry On.....

[healinghitsthefan]

Why am I here?

Do you ever feel like the words you need to say are unspeakable? Like the way you feel could potentially harm someone else? Like you’re walking on eggshells around loved ones? Yeah, me too. I am a writer second and human first. “ Keep in mind I’m an artist, and I’m sensitive about my shit.” This blog is for me to formally express myself without care of anyone else. I hope this inspires you to live your truth, too heal and to understand that remaining hurt is a choice. I have no intentions for this to be grammatically or politically correct. My intent is for this to be real and raw.  I wanted to speak from my heart in such a way that allows the burdens that were given to me could be released from me. I am learning that what hurts us are the things we end up helping others heal from. So as your teacher here is lesson 1: Create a safe space for you to express your feelings, whether that be to the God you serve, or your mother, or your journal, or your ancestors or even an anonymous social media account. Making space for the thing that makes you human is what will allow you to gain control over what you’re feeling. Remember, you are in control, and that you are more than your emotions but neglecting them will give them more control that your life can afford. 2. Remove anyone from your life that is incapable of validating your feelings.3. Pay attention to who you feel like you're walking on eggshells around when it comes to your emotions. Get to the root of WHY you feel they are not a safe space for expression.

Hey Alexa Play, Speak by Jhené Aiko Carry On.....