hellofroggg - Tumblr blog

[hellofroggg]

can i get permission to say something that could potentially get me killed here and would DEFINITELY get me killed on twitter. am i safe with you here

[hellofroggg]

I think what's happening with Taylor and her fanbase is most interesting for what it says about her marketing strategy more broadly and its consequences, even more broadly. I think part of the reason that Taylor Swift has such an intensely parasocial fanbase is because she's encouraged it throughout her career. Franchesca Ramsey has an interesting tiktok about it (that I don't totally agree with, but I think makes the point well). Taylor has always done things to blur boundaries with her fans, like the secret sessions she used to do where she invited them to her home, her team (and even her mom) would choose fans at shows to bring to the VIP box or to meet her backstage (though admittedly I don't know if she's doing that at Eras tour, she's done it in the past), she will periodically like and comment on random tiktoks about her, she jokes on stage that she knows what fans/fandom are saying and references her own fandom jokes. It has obviously served her well in terms of making her career massively successful, but it also clearly has some weird and not great impacts on her fanbase. There's an almost panopticon-like sense that at any given moment Taylor might be watching, and so if fans perform fanhood well enough, they might be "chosen" by her or get her attention. Which is unsettling enough on its own for the ways that it makes what's ultimately a one-sided parasocial relationship feel like it might at any moment actually be two-sided, but I think it also helps explain why her fans are out here putting out statements about her dating Matty Healy, because I think it leads fans to think their random tweet or tiktok might actually reach or impact Taylor, the way it might've if they'd posted an Eras tour outfit that she liked.

Obviously none of that justifies fan behavior or makes it any less troubling. I agree with you that I think if people behave this way parasocially, it suggests something about the way they behave in their actual social lives, and I think it also contributes to the ways that celebrities have a difficult time just existing as people in ways that are undeniably harmful to them as humans (like the crowds following Taylor around NYC). But there's something troubling to me about the asymmetry of it - boundary blurring good when it's for financial benefit, bad when it's strangers having public takes on a celeb's dating life. I think the asymmetry is in part natural, because of course fans can only control their own behavior and response and not the way that Taylor chooses to market her music, but I still just feel pretty icky about it, especially because it's largely operating on an unconscious level. I don't think a fan sees Taylor Swift comment on another random fan's concert video and goes, oh, this is a marketing tactic designed to boost engagement with the artist and encourage the creation of Eras tour content to keep it viral. I think a random fan, especially a young person, sees that and goes, oh, that could've been my tiktok, that could be me, Taylor might notice me and think I'm cute or funny or whatever. There are obviously a lot of differences, but it does in some ways remind me of the conversations around the impact of algorithmic content and its unconscious impact on our brains, like whether even people who are intellectually aware that they're being served more content that makes them feel angry, because that gets the most engagement, are still impacted by seeing that content. I don't think it necessarily lends itself to an actual answer, but I do think it's extra unsettling as more artists use similar marketing tactics to engage their fanbase on social media.

I've seen this argument before and while I think there might be points that are worth considering - I completely and utterly reject the idea that it has any relevance to fans response to Taylor being in a relationship. In fact the idea that Taylor's engagement with fans might be relevant to the fact that fans engage her relationships to me crosses boundaries.

To me the key question is: Do you think that everyone who you invite to your house gets a say on your relationships? (Or even more precisely - do you think everyone who you invited to your house 4 years ago gets a say on your relationships now?) I sure hope the answer is no - and if the answer is no for you - then what the fuck could the fact that some fans were invited to Taylor's house have to do that some fans (probably not the same people) think they have a say on her relationship.

There is an argument that the fact that Taylor responds to social media content and sometimes references internet communications contributes to people's belief that they can communicate to her through internet content like an open letter. But my problem with the open letter is not that people are trying to communicate with Taylor. It's that the letter shows a belief that fans get a say over Taylor's life.

I also want to push back a bit at your idea that there's an asymmetry in how boundaries being blurred are being judged. Your model seems to be that there is a set of boundaries that should exist an artist and a fan and that any depature from that from either side is crossing boundaries.

That's not how I think boundaries work. I don't think Taylor was crossing any boundaries when she invited people to her house four years ago. Anymore than I was crossing boundaries when I invited someone to my house today. That's the whole point of boundaries - we get to decide who comes to our personal space.

Likewise "strangers having public takes on a celeb's dating life" isn't a problem and has nothing to do with boundaries. Having opinions publicly about someone doesn't cross any boundaries - we're not entitled to control what everyone says about us. There's a huge difference between having opinions about someone in public - and making those opinions the person's problem. Fans are entitled to say whatever they like about Taylor's relationship - and change their behaviour in any way. But to make demands about what she should do about fans feelings - that's very different.

I do think there are useful and interesting conversations that can be had about Taylor's actions towards her fans - the personal element, the marketing element, and the impact on her fandom. I just don't think boundaries is a useful model for that discussion, or that it has any place in the discussion of fans' entitlement over Taylor's relationships.

[hellofroggg]

reading a history of american writers and i can’t stop thinking about how william faulkner became commercially viable because his publishers paid the 1931 equivalent of nearly $10k to be featured on depression-era booktok

[hellofroggg]

i saw people saying how TikTok is turning reading and publishing into the next 'fast fashion' and I feel ill. Because. Yeah.

[hellofroggg]

i really hate the way that booktok has turned reading into a commodity. and there’s so much overconsumption… you need to have shelves upon shelves of books, so that they look pretty in your room. i never see those influencers encourage using libraries - no, you need to own every book so that you fit the booktok aesthetic. its expensive. it’s inaccessible to anyone who can’t fork out hundreds of dollars a year. audiobooks (which are often the more accessible option if you have any vision related disabilities, dyslexia, sometimes for people with ADHD, etc) are not considered good enough. and there’s all these products; you need this reading lamp, these metal/jewellery bookmarks, that set of highlighters and those types of sticky notes, this app. it’s like bullshit lifestyle influencing but the lifestyle is books and that’s just… really not a great way to actually develop some enjoyment and love for reading

[hellofroggg]

I truly think my problem is that I’m so pinned in the vice grip of the social panopticon that ive just become my own prison guard. Like every action I make i HAVE to self scrutinize to the point of nausea. I know for a fact that I didn’t draw enough today and didn’t clean but I did cultivate my friendships which is worth celebrating. but I also spent too much money. I was friendly but I could have been friendlier. I came out but I could’ve stayed out longer. Do you understand my curse

[hellofroggg]

i am admittedly probably only thinking about this so much because I am writing a paper on a similar topic rn, but.... I think this culture of paying soooo much attention to what the celebrities in the audience of award shows do during certain wins or performances is a bit anyoing nitpicky and fucked up. like "oh artist xy didn't dance along to this song they suck!!" or "they didn't clap during xy's speech ugh they are just pissed they themselves didn't win!" The most famous example probably was the Tori Kelly meme from 2016 where she just happened to look unimpressed during Taylor Swift's speech at the very end of an hours long award show. And sure, yes, this is a work event and we have all had to perform a certain way at work events before, but usually our work events are not televised and broadcast to millions of people who actively want you to fuck up. We as humans are simply not going to look happy or excited for hours on end because it is exhausting as fuck! And with the crowdsourced panopticon of social media going on, this intense policing of every single microexpression also affects us, the average joe, and it's important to remember how much shit factors into the way we behave at every single moment; shit that strangers simply are unable to deduce just by looking at you.

[hellofroggg]

i think that an interesting facet of american society. is that the gigantic economic engine of the entertainment industry has created, in effect, a hypervisible untitled aristocracy (celebrities). and the main way of ENTERING this aristocracy is via looks and charisma. obviously money and connections play a role, but the thing that gets you into hollywood if you dont have money is...looks and charisma, and the thing that keeps you in front of the camera after your parents put you there initially is...looks and charisma. and COINCIDENTALLY looks and charisma are excellent ways to make the normals not hate you. you can indulge in the worst excesses of wealth in public and if you show a little leg or you have a little goofy je ne sais quois...its harder to get mad at you. and yeah, sure, we watch every day as famous people lose and win in small ways, as women and people of color (and men who put a foot wrong and dont have the connections to save themselves. thinking of brendan fraser.) get torn to shreds at the center of the panopticon, but that doesnt shatter the illusion that this could be you.

the idea is this: if you have that certain, nebulous Star Quality (so nebulous that you usually know when you have it but you also cant be completely sure when you DONT have it. because what if its waiting to emerge). anyway if you have it. you can ascend and become a like, viscount of calabasas or something. and you will be loved. and you will be defended. and you can take a private jet wherever you want and a lot of internet weirdos will defend you. and us exhausted and stressed and burned-out people outside the aristocracy, we do that defending in big and small ways, because a movie or tv show is the thing that makes us feel better after a long day of working a shitty job, or taking care of family with limited help, or searching for work in a brutal, inscrutable market.

and the people who are really fucking the world up can do that...well not completely out of sight, but with a hell of a lot less scrutiny than theyd get otherwise. and im not here to defend hollywood under-upperclass - taylor swift get rid of the fucking pj, brad pitt we all remember your dealings with weinstein. im just saying its an interesting way of harnessing a natural, intangible human resource like "charisma" and putting it on the political chessboard. we used to consider actors and artists almost as low-down on the social ladder as we do sex workers. then the duke fell from grace, and we put an actor in a nice doublet and pushed him out onstage to take his place.

[hellofroggg]

I think it's so wild that Swifties think they can sit here talking about Taylor's life and decisions 24/7 and she can have no say in it? She isn't allowed to have thoughts and opinions about us talking about her all the time? She isn't allowed to make art about how that makes her feel? We deserve to be called out by her, it's completely fair and valid. To think otherwise is naive. And I personally find it refreshing that she isn't acting like having rabid fans is all roses and sunshine all the time, for once.

[hellofroggg]

I think it would be so cool and sexy of all of us if we collectively started ignoring paparazzi pictures

[hellofroggg]

People will say they’re “free thinkers” but as soon as a woman gets hated on by a group of people they will jump on that bandwagon

[hellofroggg]

I've actually done some thinking lately and I don't hate Taylor Swift anymore. It would be torture to live in a panopticon. It would be torture to be larger than life, "too big to hang out", and know that people see you as a brand first and person second. It would be torture to live in world where people consider incels posting deepfake porn to Twitter 'social justice'. It would be torture to be unable to write a song about your ex without getting accused of slander.

Imagine hearing people tell you your pain isn't real because your brand isn't subversive enough.

And she's not allowed to leave that box. Ed Sheeran tried to experiment with his art and he was bullied back into his box. Billie Eilish is called a failed woman for wearing comfortable clothes and a whore for wearing less. Jojo Siwa isn't allowed to seems too childish but she can't seem too grown up without being edgy and conformist at the same time. Britney Spears shaved her head to stop people from treating her like an object, so we treated her like an asylum patient.

An artist can't just be an artist.

Nothing has changed in this celebrity culture since Britney Spears. How many people have to go 'crazy', overdose or kill themselves before we stop treating them like circus animals?

[hellofroggg]

People are making fun of Jojo Siwa too. God I fucking hate people. Vultures.

[hellofroggg]

Doing a public service by forcing her back into her box? 👏 👏 👏 Remember that haters can have a parasocial relationship too.

[hellofroggg]

AITA for banning gum and chips from my car?

I'll keep this simple. I (24F) have misophonia, and chewing sounds are among my worst triggers. I often physically recoil and twitch from the sound of it, involuntarily.

For safety's sake and the sake of my sanity, I've decided that "loud" food like chips, gum, taffy, etc. is banned from my car (I only recently began driving and now own my very first car).

My older sister thinks this is a mean thing to do, but I think it's reasonable, considering that it's my car and I feel it may pose a safety hazard. To be honest, even if my reactions didn't make me physically twitch, I think it would still be reasonable because I shouldn't have to be in unnecessary mental pain while I'm driving.

Is this a dick move? Should I just put up with the chewing?

(Nobody relies on me for rides currently, the only person I regularly drive around is myself. Family members sometimes willingly come with me when I decide to take a random trip to the store, and other stuff like that. Nobody is forced by circumstances to be in my car when they don't want to.)

[hellofroggg]

Personalized ads should mean I don't have to get ads from companies I don't like