heyitstaylore

[heyitstaylore]

Tiktok has been showing me these professional rugby players training and running around, and I am once again reminded of the fact that I am indeed attracted to men.

[heyitstaylore]

I think it's time for my yearly rewatch of this film. Maybe this year, I can suffer through it without crying my eyes out. Or maybe not.

"The truth is… sometimes I miss you so much I can hardly stand it." BROKEBACK MOUNTAIN 2005, dir. Ang Lee

[heyitstaylore]

I know you all said it a million times, but hear me out.

Remus finds out that Sirius sold out his friends, their little found family to Voldemort then aforementioned Sirius kills Peter, their fucking best mate and then kills a bunch of others just because.

And then... then what? He never said goodbye to Remus, like, he just went to work on a late-night stake out. He never seemed off. He was his Sirius. His Padfoot. His.

And he just went off and killed everyone that ever loved Remus. He was left utterly alone. It seemed like a well thought-out sick joke. Sirius knew, that Remus always feared that everything good in his life would go to shit, that everyone would leave him because they realised he was an animal, a beast, unlovable and destined to just turn into the next Greyback or something.

And then Sirius just did it. And then laughed. More than a decade later, Sirius' Azkaban pictures show him laughing like a madman. Remus thinks he is laughing at him.

The rage, the anger, the fury. The sadness, the heartache, the pain. The love, the loss, the grief.

Imagine the heartbreak. The love of his life took everything from him, and then, a decade later, he saw that the bastard had the audacity to laugh.

And Remus was alone. There was no one left. And then that shithead showed up at Hogwarts. He probably wanted to finish off Harry and take another thing away from Remus.

And then, everything changes. The truth comes out. Long lost lovers finally reunite.

And then Sirius dies. His Padfoot gets himself killed.

Fuck.

[heyitstaylore]

I've visited my family yesterday.

I can't even... I dont have the words and the patience to describe it. Everything.

I am just... sad.

[heyitstaylore]

My sleep schedule is fucked once again, so my eating schedule is also fucked.

I should be sleeping but I am hungry but it's almost midnight and I SHOULD BE SLEEPING BUT I AM HUNGRY...

If I eat now, I can't sleep because I will dream up the most heinous shit. And making food takes time. It's going to be like 2 am when I'll be all finished up and done and the nightmares will haunt me anyway... but if I dont eat right now, will I be able to fall asleep? I think not.

And tbh all I want to gobble down is that fucking delicious looking watermelon i bought today and that is a terrible idea because I would wake up every ten minutes to pee and that would be just amazing.

[heyitstaylore]

I went to the movie theatre to see the new HTTYD film.

I am so easily entertained. I was mesmerised the whole time. I even forgot about my popcorn.

I still dont understand why we need live action films of already made animation films, but the whole flying and the fire and the action, it was so beautiful.

I need a dragon companion in my life so bad.

[heyitstaylore]

After seeing how many hater accounts he has, he starts some more. He would open multiple accounts and would reblog, share, repost, and like his own posts.

He would start selling merch. He would open an amazon wishlist, and the like-minded haters would buy things off of it for him. He would do livestreams somehow.

He, indeed, would thrive.

giggling bc regulus would be honored that people have whole accounts dedicated to hating him. he would thrive off of that shit

[heyitstaylore]

That's a really rude thing to say.

"But Jegulus doesn't make any sense! They don't have anything in common-"

Neither of them lived in a world without Sirius Black in it.

[heyitstaylore]

I want to start up a new WIP, but I already have several roughly drafted out on my computer. What do I do?

[heyitstaylore]

I am once again on morning shift duty, and I think I am going to spiral. I don't know how on earth do people function properly when they have to wake up at 4.40 am.

This is madness. An utter complete nonsense. Vile.

I hate it here.

[heyitstaylore]

"Nothing special," my ass. This is gorgeous

Migraine is gone, so I could finish this little sketchy. Nothing special, just practicing values and overall impact ☺️ And Sirius is my best muse, so.... 🤭

[heyitstaylore]

I love living in the heart of the city. Usually. But waking up to like thirty 4-5 year olds singing is just awful. It's nine in the morning for fucks sake.

[heyitstaylore]

I am thinking about getting surgery for my endometriosis, but some of my colleagues were talking about how they postpone every surgery that's like not an emergency.

One of them has gallbladder issues, and they told her that they could schedule her for 2027. Two thousand and twenty-seven. The other route is to wait it out until she turns yellow, and then they'll perform emergency surgery on her.

What the actual fuck.

Our healthcare system is in ruins.

[heyitstaylore]

Reblogging because I need some good in my life

[heyitstaylore]

I love the fact that I am plus-sized/mid-sized, but because I work in a fast-food restaurant, I am constantly running around for 40-48 hours a week, so I have insane sleeper build calves. Relaxed, they are chubby. But the moment I stand on tiptoes, they look like they belong on another person. Comical.

[heyitstaylore]

What the actual fuck is this new Samsung update.

[heyitstaylore]

Quick reminder: just because some articles of clothing fit you like a glove, it doesn't mean that you're going to like it on yourself.

I am trying on my summer clothes and some of them fit great and it's comfortable but just... nope. I hate it on myself, not my style, no. Yes, maybe years ago I liked it, but for the love of everything, I bought these jean shorts in 2017. Yes, I can throw them out. No, I am not going to miss it. The last time I wore it was in like 2020.