hijadelmar

[hijadelmar]

beauty standards and curated aesthetics online

tiktok, pinterest and the promotion of aesthetics

curated aesthetics like coquette, downtown girl, cottagecore, femme fatale, that girl, clean girl, coconut girl 

anti aging (promoting retinol, 10-step skincare routines, palstic surgery, not smiling to reduce wrinkles????)

normalization of plastic surgery

body types (heroin chic, curvy, etc.)

“energy” (divine feminine)

doe eyes, siren eyes

popular pretty, natural pretty or model pretty

why this is harmful

curated aesthetics- people are pushed to conform to a manufactured style. instead of creating your own style and wearing what you want, people are trying to fit into aesthetics

anti aging- people are now terrified of aging and are going thru great lengths so they don’t get lines on their face. at the end of the day, you’re going to get wrinkles eventually. when you’re 80 no $500 serum is gonna stop natural aging. 

normalization of plastic surgery- plastic surgery is now seen as a trend. the kardashians did all that work, then got their BBL removed. no it’s about buccal fat removal. whats next? why do we view plastic surgery as a trend? fashion trends are one thing but our faces are another.

body types- beauty standards for our bodies shift all the time. 4 years ago it was big boobs, tiny waist and wide hips. now it’s heroin chic, ultra thin with slim faces and no buccal fat.

“energy”- no one cares about divine feminine energy. it’s a chronically online idea, similar to the whole alpha male, beta male sigma thing. in real life people aren’t gonna go “wow she’s so divine feminine!” outside of the online sphere, people don’t care at all about these terms.

conclusion- we’re all being pushed into boxes style wise. the clothes we wear, how our bodys are built, how our faces look, what energy we give off. if we have doe eyes or siren eyes, if we’re popular pretty, natural pretty or model pretty. it’s just another stressor that pushes people towards insecurities. and these social media platforms push this content towards young women and teens like me, making us feel like in order to be pretty we need to fit these labels and conform to these standards.

taking back our identity

recognizing online manipulation- when this content gets pushed so heavily, especially on tiktok, it’s easy to get caught in the algorithmic loop. but it’s important to take a step back and think- what am i actually watching? how is this affecting me?

cutting back on social media time- another thing that helps is just taking time offline and cutting back on social media. when you do so you realize how pointless these things are. in the real world no one is going to notice if you have “doe eyes or siren eyes” or if you’re a high value woman or a femme fatale or whatever.

embracing health over trends- my main point though is to prioritize your health over trends. prioritize taking care of your body- eating good, working out, taking care of your physical health. instead of getting caught up with anti-aging, just focusing on basic skincare and nourishing your body. by taking care of yourself you’ll be embracing your natural beauty :)

conclusion- social media can be damaging, and it can promote negative ideas. i’m getting tired of all the curated styles, the pressure put on appearances. it’s just another stressor in life, one that isn’t important. if you enjoy these styles online, thats great i do too! but its important to remember that it’s all pointless really. youre not a femme fatale, youre 15.

[hijadelmar]

be the main character of your life, stop comparing yourself to others!

every time you compare yourself to another person you lose your power and give it to others.

be aware of your own value

the value you give to others, give to yourself multiplied!

if there is something you don't like about yourself try to change it from compassion and self-love, don't judge yourself for it, we all have the ability to change

recognize that comparing yourself with other people is something negative and prevents you from growing and evolving

you are the main character of your life, no one else, that's why it doesn't matter if you "believe" that someone else is more handsome or smarter than you, it's not, it's you, because it's your life, think about this every time you compare yourself

recognize when these thoughts come to your mind and focus in turn on something positive, something good about your day or something you like about yourself

don't compare chapter 20 of a person with chapter 3 of your life

focus on learning and not comparing yourself

turn comparison into admiration

be aware of the damage you are doing to yourself when you do this

write down everything you like about yourself and everything you would like to have or be

practice self-love every day, treat yourself with love

focus on you and your growth not on what others do

focus on what you like about yourself and not on what you don't-

recognize that you are the main character of your life, the life you are living right now is only lived by you so it doesn't matter how other people are or how they live their life, it doesn't hurt you, focus on you and your growth, you are unique and valuable you don't have to be like anyone else

some ways to practice self-love ( i will write another post on this)

forgive yourself

take care of your physical and mental health

avoid toxic people

connect to your feminine energy and make rest a priority when you need it

use positive affirmations every day

talk to yourself and treat yourself with love

do things that make you proud of you

post that i recommend you if you found this one useful 🤍

[hijadelmar]

cutting off social media

first of all, i wanna apologize for this hiatus. i opened the blog and a couple posts later i stopped publishing, i am really bad when it comes to the discipline for writing in a blog, diary or such. but i wanna slowly come back here and i have a couple of ideas already.

second, hope everyone who reads this had a good christmas and new year. let's focus on becoming our best versions for this 2023 and keep improving for the upcoming years! :) i have some new year's resolutions myself, and one of them (and today's topic) is cutting off progressively my relationship with social media.

i am not a social person at all, i barely post and i still find myself spending more time than i'd like in sites like instagram. and, honestly, do i need it? short answer: no.

yesterday i deleted my account and the app itself. i didn't tell anyone because i'm doing it for myself. and i already feel much better with this simple decision! i still spend a lot of time in other sites like twitter or tiktok, but atleast i find myself enjoying more using them. when it comes to instagram i just felt i wasn't enjoying it and it wasn't something "i liked to do", but more something like i was mechanically used to. when i am bored with my phone, just automatically open the app to check a couple of stories and posts and close it, then repeat. and honestly i was really burned out.

after all, i don't really enjoy or have the need to post myself. as i said i am not social at all so i don't hang out often with friends, and when i do i'm not the kind of person who shares it on insta's stories or posts.

i seriously recommend doing the same thing for everyone. a lot of people finds themselves low on self esteem because we spend a lot of time on our days checking instagram, seeing lots of people using filters or editing their face or body features for every post. i totally think this step is a good start to cut from those toxic habits.

in my own case it wasn't about feeling personally triggered or affected by that, but more about finding myself in a "space" i didn't felt like i wanted to be in. a lot of people following me when from those followers i maybe talk to the 2% of them. and following myself a lot of people i don't even care about. i wanted to stop seeing the life or stuff of people i don't relate or care about at all. and again, i'm really glad i made this decision. i gotta say i also find myself mechanically tapping on the area of my screen where i had instagram's icon.

i don't wanna stop here, i want to keep reducing my social media consumption until i am at a point where i only use them an essential amount of time. but this is a good start for myself, and i really encourage everyone to try something like this. i also don't think everyone has to be as radical as i was, but try small things like unfollowing people or "influencers" you don't care or relate to at all. i already know if i ever come back to instagram it'll be to strictly follow people im genuinely interested about and i feel theythey bring something positive to my feed, like artists, designers, content creators or only close friends i really talk to.

thanks for reading me and i'll try to see you all sooner than last time :)

[hijadelmar]

how to stop caring what other people think of you

learn what you will accept and won't accept as behavior towards you

cut with toxic people

most people are too focused on themselves and their own issues anyway

what other people think or say about you has nothing to do with you it is their own perception

let them think what they want about you. it's not your reality. they're creating their own narrative. you can't control it

you can't force anyone to understand your point of view/feelings

not everyone is on the same vibe, you can't expect everyone to like you

everyone lives in their own reality

practice meditation and stillness. focus on what you're grateful for

stay away from people who only know how to criticize or speak ill of others, that says more about them than about yourself

be yourself and share your energy with people who are worth it

[hijadelmar]

about body image and social media

first of all, i wanna thank becoming that girl’s post because it’s what mainly inspired me to write this. she explained herself already pretty well, but i wanted to share too my point of view about this topic because as someone commented in her blog, this is not speaked enough as it should.

i’m really exhausted of seeing everywhere, call it tumblr, twitter, instagram, youtube... any social media pictures or posts promoving extreme photo edition, body shapes that aren’t realistic and everything you probably already know.

if you feel affected by this, please, think for a second. do you really think these bodies are real at all? sure, some girls actually look like this: but most of the time these pictures you see are edited in some fashion, and everything’s about lightning, camera position and that stuff. if that girl you saw has a big chest and hips but slim waist, that’s probably not realistic at all. usually, bodies with those ‘big proportions’ comes with more fat in other zones like the belly, and there’s nothing wrong with that. if you’re skinny and don’t have wide hips or big boobs, or you are fat, what is wrong with that? don’t let these people influence in the way you see yourself. don’t succumb to extreme diets, unhealthy habits or even plastic surgery, cause nothing is wrong with your body as it is. as long as you don’t have any health problem, you have zero need to change anything about you.

if you wanna slim down, that’s fine. but in a healthy way. go with a professional to design a specific diet based on your characteristics and goals, work out, anything that doesn’t have bad side effects for you.

and about how normalized plastic surgeries are, i wanna talk about how dangerous they are. if you wanna go for it please, do it consciously. ignore other’s comments or how glorified it is, cause in reality most of the time it’s too risky. if you feel self-conscious about your nose for example it’s ok. first, try to make peace with yourself and your body. learn to live with it, to know deep in your head that there’s nothing wrong with your nose, lips, chest, legs or whatever body of your part you feel bad for. when you come to good terms with it, if you still feel like a surgery could be a good improvement please, go with good professionals. first of all i recommend you to go with a therapist, talk about it. take all the time you need to carefully think about this decision. 

as i said, operating rooms are way too dangerous. and even if everything goes well in a surgery, who knows how can it go in the future? there’s plenty of experience from women who went in a breast surgery and ended up having breast surgery cancer, or whatever implant they had, call it boobs, ass, whatever. is it really worth it? is it for yourself or cause society put it inside of your brain that you need this when you actually don’t?

don’t risk it. your life is way too valious to mess up with surgeries, extreme diets and any unhealthy habit.

good vibes and see you in my next post ♥

[hijadelmar]

training at home or at the gym?

which is better, training at the gym or at home? how will we get faster results? there is not a better or worse option, it depends on the person and their preferences, i advance that we can get results in both. in this article, we will know the advantages of each one and how to get fast results and create a routine for it

training at the gym

if we maintain a daily routine we can achieve results more quickly since in the gym we have specialized equipment such as machines, dumbbells, weights and the help of trainers. We can attend classes such as spinning, and pilates, which can motivate us to perform different exercises and get out of the routine. if you do not maintain a fixed routine or do not have healthy habits will be more difficult to achieve results in the gym we can also socialize with other people and meet new people

training at home

if we keep a daily routine (at least 5 days a week, 3-4 if you just start) we can get the same results as in a gym but for this, we have to be very disciplined and get some material, such as weights or resistance bands on youtube we have an infinity of exercises to tone the body, lose weight or get what we want we can also combine exercise at home with running or going for a walk for 30 minutes a day, this will tone up our body

but the essential thing is to have a daily exercise routine and to be disciplined the bad thing is that when we start we are a little lost and do not have the equipment and we can take a little longer to get results until we get used to it and find the perfect routine for us, but if we exercise daily despite this our body will begin to improve and our health too, which is essential

how to create a routine and stay motivated

in the gym we have the help of monitors that based on our goals will make us an exercise plan and we just have to follow it. if you are a person who finds it hard to find motivation you have to motivate yourself with the idea that you are doing this for yourself and for your health, to improve and improve your lifestyle. as the beginnings are difficult you can start going every other day and little by little propose to change your other habits like for example start writing a diary, even if it seems unrelated this will help you to create a new habit and start to be more disciplined

at home, you have to be clear about your goals and find the perfect routine that suits you, there are many youtubers who share their workout plans for each week and this can help you to get started or you can even create it yourself with different videos that suit your needs to create the routine find the videos that best suit you and do them every day you train, every now and then add a new one to vary the type of exercise, and of course, start and end with stretching

an example of a routine

-mary braun on youtube-

other things to consider we have to improve our diet and our habits, this will automatically make us feel more motivated and therefore notice changes in our body and of course quality of life drink plenty of water and maintain a good sleep routine. if you train at home don't be overwhelmed if you don't see results, the most important thing is your health, and little by little you have to get used to this

my experience i have been training at home for more than a year but I started to change my habits and be consistent since the beginning of this year. since april i exercise almost every day and go running every day so i have seen very noticeable changes, my abs are much more defined and my glutes have grown a lot with the help of resistance bands. so although i would like to define my abs more i have obtained a very toned and feminine body shape

final advice no matter where you train the most important thing is to be constant and improve not only your eating habits but also other areas of your life, for example, you have to take into account your sleeping habits and your general routine. also, remember that it is good to want to get a nice body but the most important thing is to exercise and have healthy habits for the sake of our body and health which is the most important thing

and if you train in the gym or you are thinking about it, this post may be useful for you 🤍

[hijadelmar]

tips for a bad day

we all have our up and downs, and today i’m gonna talk about those days you just don’t feel right. it can be just cause you woke up feeling down, you had a bad day at work or school... whatever. i’ll just list some things that helps me to cheer myself up for these days ♡

try to clear your mind. if you had for example a bad day at school, the moment you arrive home leave it behind the door. you’re home now, you’re away from these experiences and it’s your time to take care of yourself.

if you have homework or you have to do anything at home (whether it is from school, from your work, chores...) but don’t feel with enough motivation, in case you can leave it for another day and there’s no rush to end them for today, just do a little. if it’s homework for example or study for a test, don’t do everything today but at least dedicate 10 minutes to it. even 5, whatever will be better than doing nothing, because if you pospone it, at least from my own experience you’ll keep having less and less motivation to do it. listen to some relaxing music and be in a clear and organized space so you can go quicky through it.

once you finished everything you may have to do, good job! it’s now time for yourself. ♡

have a snack. if you’re hungry, make for yourself something quick and healthy if possible. take some fruit like banana or strawberry and prepare a smoothie, have some dry fruits, a toast with avocado, some cereals with yoghurt... whatever you enjoy and it’s beneficial for your body. it’s better if you can avoid unhealthy stuff like chips or sweets, but if you have self control for it don’t hesitate and take a little treat.

try a new recipe. leave a mess in your kitchen, navigate between thousands of recipes on the surface... wanna try something new? chinese cuisine, italian, mexican, thai... search for something easy to do by yourself, list the ingredients and in case you need something, go to the grocery shop. usually, cooking is something really good as it takes a good amount of your time and energy in something productive, you’ll end up feeling good and you won’t distract your mind with bad thoughts. also you can prepare a nice meal for lunch or dinner for yourself or your family.

if it’s possible, go out with your friends. if not, talk with them at home. make a voice call, it can be on discord, and hang out. rant with them if you need it and spend time. you can also play something together, watch a show...

watching new stuff can be nice, but it always brings us comfort re watching something we already do know we like. put your favourite show, read your favourite book or listen to that album you always go to... i also recommend watching a tv show you enjoyed as a kid.

transform that negative energy into something else. sit in front of your desk and write in a notebook or your diary about how do you feel. what happened that made you feel this way? you can improve it? there is anything you can do by yourself to live with it in a healthier way that doesn’t affect in your mood? change your mindset. do some meditations too, it will help you to cleanse your mind.

research about topics you feel passionate about. it’s never late to learn something new, and it’s always good for our minds to culturize ourselves. it can be whatever: science, physics, biology, arts, history, cinema... what themes are you interested in? personally, these days i’ve been really curious watching videos about snowflakes and how they form.

i mentioned this point in my post about gym, but pamper yourself. take a warm shower, do your skincare and your hair...

if you have the possibility, go somewhere you can be more in contact with nature. if you live in a place where you can do it, go to the forest, to the beach, a lake... just a park will do it. watch to the birds, photograph with a camera or your phone the flowers you like and try to find butterflies flying.

[hijadelmar]

hello! you have a really nice blog, i love reading your posts and it really inspires me to write myself. in fact i started a couple days ago my own page and i wanted to ask you, there is any advice you'd give to people who wants to start writing their own blogs for self improvement? thank you and good vibes ♥

hey honey 🤍

thanks, and in fact, your blog looks very nice and i encourage my readers to follow you ✨

my advice would be to share the tips that have worked for you in your personal growth/improvement journey to help yourself and others

of course, you can be inspired by other blogs but having your own style is the key to success

have a beautiful day! 🤍✨🧿

[hijadelmar]

diary 1 — my relationship with the gym

i subscribed to this gym two months ago. since then, the first weeks i went normally, but after some days i started to feel more and more lazy to go so i started to skip some days, to the point that i took a two weeks (roughly) hiatus. yesterday i really convinced myself to go, and i feel kinda proud of me for doing it. but i still need to do a lot more, to keep going and improve more aspects of my life.

the thing is, i really think i struggle with going because i feel really insecure about my body. kinda dumb, isn’t it? i’m going to a place to improve my self image, and i don’t go because i feel bad about my image. more specifically, i am really skinny, with long and thin limbs. i have this sensation of everyone watching and judging me constantly, when in reality is something that my head just made up.

now, i really wanna be a better version of myself. not for someone else, not for the rest to feel more pleased at my body or whatever, i do this for myself and only myself. it’s not only about the physical changes but about my health, cause it’s something i truly felt that i was feeling better physically, with less back pain and other stuff.

to improve i’m gonna write some tips i’d give to someone in my situation, to put into words all of my thoughs and convince more myself to follow my own tips. if someone reads this and find this helpful feel free to let me know, share your thoughts or whatever :)

what i’ll do to improve

don’t feel bad about myself. if i don’t feel good and i wanna skip a day, i’ll do it with no regrets. but only one, and i’ll go the next day. it’s ok to have a bad day, but i won’t let my thoughts to control me for more than only that day. dedicate it to do what you like or just feel bad: do whatever you need, crying, listening to your favourite sad playlists or call a friend to rant with them. but when you wake up for the next day do it with the mentality of leaving those negative thoughts in the past day. new day, new mindset. it’s something really general, not just applicable in this context, but i felt like it was a nice point to include.

be more conscious about my diet. i don’t cook for myself and i’m thankful that in my house we have a healthy diet, but there’s still left things i want like suplements to help myself with my objectives. i need to stop or reduce the amount of junk food although, cause i find myself most of the time buying candies or snacks when i go out with friends. if you’re in the same situation as me be conscious about it, buying healthier alternatives. if you want candies just get a small and rational amount, or go for other things like dried fruits.

don’t obsess over your food or feel guilty. i feel it’s important this point after the one i just talked about. i don’t wanna talk much more about it cause it would deviate to other topics, but please, take small steps and always think about this as something just for your health. bad habits take a long proccess to get rid of them, and if one day you eat junk food, don’t feel guilty about it. it’s not a crime, and this is not a competition to get skinnier or more fit. it’s just for your own good.

don’t listen or think about what the others say. if you find yourself in the same situation as me, you’ll probably have a hard time feeling watched, judged or whatever. just, don’t listen to your thoughts. they won’t bring anything positive to you. when you go running, to a gym or whatever you may do for working out, only focus in yourself. if you really think someone is being judgmental over you is their problem, not yours. that person had a starting point too, they just didn’t walk over the gym’s door with a perfect ideal fitness body. but most of the time, it’s just your thoughts. in reality no one is here to judge others but to work on themselves and minding their own business.

listen to the music that makes you feel more energized, don’t push yourself more than you should and drink water constantly. typical tips for working out, but it’s always good a little reminder.

pamper yourself once you finish. personally, i don’t like taking showers at the gym, and i luckily live really close to it so i just shower at home. but if you don’t mind it you could take a quick one at the gym to get rid of the sweat and odors, and once you get home take a nice warm shower, take your time under the water. massage yourself, use your favourite products to wash your body and take your time in front of the mirror, applying your favourite facial masks and taking care of your skin.

this is everything i could come up with at the moment. i’m not an expert over anything, it’s just what i figured out that could work for myself and my own good. just read a lot of blogs and tips over healthy habits and mix up the ones that you could apply or would work better for you, and always remind that this is for you. thank you for reading :)

[hijadelmar]

♡ comforting things

lotus flowers. the morning cold breeze. iced drinks. butterflies. lonely beaches. reading with the sunlight bathing you and your favorite book from the window of your room. getting a warm shower after a cold and rainy day. dogs. lakes. jazz music. fresh baked bread. sleeping in fresh, clean sheets with the scent of laundry products. second-hand bookstores. writing for old friends you didn’t talk to for a long time. re-watching your favorite childhood shows. collecting toys. flower shops. ice skating. bees. listening to music with an old radio. grocery shopping in local stores. orange juice. coconut scent. body milk. orange tones. sunscreen. using headphones. collecting seashells at the seashore.