himanshikaul

[himanshikaul]

how to

self concept

now, the question is, how do we work on our self concept? not everyone is born with a high self-esteem. some of us are insecure, under-confident, self-sabotaging, etc.

if you believe you are someone with a bad self-concept, you need to understand why it is so. getting to the root of it, will help you. what made you insecure to begin with? your parents, your school friends, your siblings, your friends, your relatives, the media(tv, models, actors, magazines, movies, etc. ), a past boyfriend or perhaps your current boyfriend, etc.

think of all of it, the words they used, the actions that made you believe that your worth is as low as they claim it to be.

understand that this is a reflection of their own image that they are trying to impose on you. the world is a mirror, if they bully you, it is cause they are insufferable, miserable, empty, sad, jealous, etc.

the world will throw a thousand stones on you, you cannot stop them, what you can do, is build a huge wall to protect yourself, this wall is of self-preservation and self-respect. you do not have to block people out of your life, you have to let people bark and protect yourself from the loud noise by being a person of a high self-esteem.

now my suggestion is merely a suggestion, not a universal cure, but let me tell you a story. when i was younger, i would want everyone is school to like me and i was the social butterfly. but my popularity rose down, and i was rejected a few times which made me unbearably sad. i thought my life revolved around others' perception of me and their validation was nectar. until i came across the concept of self-concept. i do not need anyone, i do not need others, i need myself. my life should revolve around me cause it is quite obviously my life. i am the sun, the moon, the stars to myself. if i am gone, nothing in my life would exist. let people have the joy of knowing you, you will only then feel the joy of existing.

you do not need self-help books, you do not need manifestation books, you need nice interesting novels that will keep you invested, and you need beautiful music and an organized routine. go do your skincare, make sure you are neat and tidy. wear good clothes, they do not have to be expensive. if you are a teenager like me, go do that internship, do good at school/uni. if you are older, do not chase men, work on yourself so you can build up your own foundation, so you wont have to depend on a man. and when you do meet a man, do not worry about him liking you, think about whether you would like him or not. do not daydream. stop that and become realistic. work on yourself, become a disciplined person. i firmly believe that only a person with healthy habits can have a good self-concept.

so my suggestion is to incorporate good habits in your life. you cannot become confident when you have nothing that makes you a prize. you are a prize only when you are refined and valuable and precious.

[himanshikaul]

the concept of self-concept

i have seen a lot of girls give up their selves for a man, who do not even respect them, all because they share history, and they (the girl) dream of the ultimate happiness, marriage. what i wish to tell them is that this dream is not the perfect one.

i have seen women lose their value, their intelligence, all because of this fragile dream. i am not calling love a fragile dream, i am calling the fantasy of settling down for the first man that comes your way, a fragile dream.

love is supposed to feel warm, and free of pain. if love is not liberating you, it is restricting you. and if love is restricting you, it is not love at all. it is possession. "i own you so i can hurt you, you stay regardless cause i own you" is how these men think. (not all men, just the men this is directed towards)

women can feel this love only if they set straight standards that they are not willing to compromise on, for the sake of finding the one. the standard should not just entail the bare minimum. it should be all about how in every aspect of life, your man should love you and respect you, be devoted to only you and provide you affection and love, etc.

for this, we must work on our self concept, how we view ourselves. what our worth is in our eyes, look in the mirror today and ask yourself, "what is my worth?" is it to be abused and hurt or is it to be cherished and respected?