honestlywearealljustlemmings

[honestlywearealljustlemmings]

I found it.

I found this.

I found him.

i want to be loved in the same amount that i love.

[honestlywearealljustlemmings]

Just stop.

Stop leaving.

Please stop leaving me.

Why does everyone always leave.

I care so much. I do everything I can to make them happy.

But they still leave.

[honestlywearealljustlemmings]

This. This is what I want:(

[honestlywearealljustlemmings]

Wow this fucking hurts

[honestlywearealljustlemmings]

Je me sens seule.

[honestlywearealljustlemmings]

I’m so miserable recently, it used to be that thinking about going home would get me through the day at work but now it just makes work harder.

[honestlywearealljustlemmings]

“Oh but anyone

Who knows what love is

Will understand”

[honestlywearealljustlemmings]

“We are all alone in this world

Trapped in our own bodies

With our own minds

And all company is meaningless and superficial.”

- atbp

[honestlywearealljustlemmings]

I look into a mirror and your eyes stare back at me

You grin as you whisper, don't be scared, soon you'll be free

[honestlywearealljustlemmings]

“But I do love thee

And when I love thee not

Chaos is come again”

- Othello

[honestlywearealljustlemmings]

The smiles on all their faces

Were just masks after all,

The light at the end of the tunnel

Was just a picture painted on the wall.

[honestlywearealljustlemmings]

So you can leave like the sane abandoned me

- mcr

[honestlywearealljustlemmings]

“Science adjusts its views

Based on what’s observed

Faith is the denial of observation

So that belief can be preserved.”

- Tim Minchin

[honestlywearealljustlemmings]

“It goes in one ear

And right out the other,

People talking shit

But you know I never bother”

- Cage the elephant

[honestlywearealljustlemmings]

“And neither the angels in Heaven above

Nor the demons down under the sea

Can ever dissever my soul from the soul

Of the beautiful Annabel Lee;”

[honestlywearealljustlemmings]

Stranger danger

But I knew you

They don’t warn you

About the ones you

Let into your Room.

[honestlywearealljustlemmings]

About a week after this who I thought was one of my best friends r*ped me. He knew it had happened to me before, he knew how it had impacted me because he saved me from it before, the damage had already been done but he got me out of there and I really don’t think I’d have survived that night if it weren’t for him. It was one of the reasons I cared so much for him and trusted him so deeply. Funny how things change. How people can completely fake a personality.

I turn 18 tomorrow. And I’m hella fucking excited.

Here’s why;

not because now I can buy drink, fags and I’m “free”.

No, I’ve never let my age get in the way of that.

No, it’s because I am so completely and irrefutably done with being 17.

A change in the date isn’t going to change anything at all logically.

But I can convince myself it makes a difference.

I can say that all of the stupid shit I did was all my 17 year old self.

That now, I’m done.

I’m done making mistakes and fucking myself over.

I’m done accepting that this version of myself is me.

So here is my promise to leave that shitty me behind.

Sincerely, me.