honestlywisewitch

[honestlywisewitch]

these quatrains, free verses and prose that i wrote for the boys i admire[d] still stuck in my notes🫰🫠

[honestlywisewitch]

oh, hey 2024!

[honestlywisewitch]

how hilarious.

already aware that i'm hypochondriac yet everytime 'symptoms' appear, i'm always finding myself in complete disaster seeking assurance and thinking of the worst case to happen.

no matter how genuine and striving i am to tell myself that there is nothing to worry about, there are still urges and gaps in my thoughts that i think i need to fill in.

and i'm tired of this. i can't focus on my studies, on building the college life i want, because i would always prefer to 'be safe' and to not add more activities to think of. also worrying that i might turn my commitments into burden and not be able to handle the responsibilities in joining orgs.

for this, i'm always missing the high school days when i used to have bits of everything. i was into music, school publication, and other activities outside the classroom.

now i can't do anything without worrying about my health. i always feel 'threatened'. even drinking a water from a cup that i left just for few minutes scares me.

there were trips to the OPD that looking back, were illnesses i've already experienced and recovered from. there were also those that i wish i haven't thought too much, that i should have not doubted first before going to the doctor because they're valid to be worried of. the delays only caused me more stress and sleepless nights, only intensified the scare and headaches.

doing a countdown of the incubation period of a virus, and when it lapsed that means you're 'safe'.

little sensations on the body lead to nonstop googling of possible illnesses

always seeking answer as to why i'm feeling this

interpreting minor backaches as a symptom. although in reality i was slouching for couple of hours already.

having gastritis and thinking it will eventually lacerate your stomach wall

having recurrent headaches expecting to burst anytime soon when in reality it's due to lack of sleep and stress from overthinking

headache that 'could be' brain disease

fear of not being able to wake up from sleep

imagining oneself lifeless and stressing over things i haven't achieved yet

always seeking assurance from doctors

last sem, i silently gave up and just wanted to go home so bad. so no wonder why i flunked on my exams and overall academic performance. all i wanted that time was to be free from any pressure, and redeem the sleep and happiness i thought i was deprived of.

yes, i can recognize all the negatives of this anxiety and what i could do instead. but believe me, it doesn't get any better by just thinking good things. by realizing that it's just in my head. by receiving advice from someone to 'be positive'.

photo credits: Ashley King

https://pin.it/7LyFrgU

[honestlywisewitch]

[honestlywisewitch]

guide to become your best version ✨

the first step, be clear about what your best version would look like. questions to ask yourself.

what would my best version look like?

what habits would i have?

what would my life be like?

what would be my morning and evening routine?

what thoughts would i have?

what would i focus on?

what thoughts and habits should i leave behind?

how would i like to feel?

and lastly…

what can i start doing to connect with this version of me?

you can also add your own questions if they resonate with you, the important thing about this exercise is that you connect a little bit more with that better version of yourself.

from my experience, it is important to focus and work on these three areas of our life at the same time so that none of these areas are out of balance and we can flow to that version more easily.

it is important because i have realized from my own experience and from other people who send me questions that they only focus on one area, in most cases, the habits, and forget others, then when something happens or we go through a bad moment we feel lost and it seems that everything is "wrong" but if we work on these areas at the same time and we nurture them day by day we will have more control of our emotions and thoughts, then we will not stagnate in "bad times". remember, we can always go through bad times but these always bring us a learning experience.

✨ physical

daily movement, create an exercise routine

eating healthy food, for the sake and perfect functioning of our body.

create a daily routine that will help us reach our goals.

healthy habits

hobbies that help us connect with our best self.

focus on the well-being of our body

✨ mental and emotional

read about personal growth, psychology, and topics that will help us to improve our personal best.

journaling

keep a daily record of our emotions, as well as our habits.

focus on what we do want rather than what we don't want

detect what our negative thought patterns are and change them for - more positive ones according to how we want to think and feel from now on.

affirm positively

work on those areas of our life that we need to improve or are damaged

✨ spiritual

healing and balancing both your feminine and masculine energies

develop your intuition

have faith in yourself and in the process of creation (god, universe, energy…)

read about spirituality

meditate day and night

doing energetic cleansing

connect with your spiritual side

love yourself for who you are now

forgive the people who hurt us and forget the past

practice gratitude

practice compassion and tolerance towards yourself and others

connect with nature

this is what i believe brings us closer to becoming our best version, as i am always learning new things about the subject and evolving both personally and spiritually so i will continue to share this in future posts.

as always all questions related to the topic are welcome and if you have any doubts you can also ask.

[honestlywisewitch]

how accurate

[honestlywisewitch]

lol everytime i feel the urge to have online part-time job, it only leads me to online survey tasks🫠🥴

[honestlywisewitch]

Tomorrow's the first day of a new semester.

I'm daunted that I'm still in this brain-wrenching program, but also looking at it at as an opportunity to be more resilient, disciplined, self-reliant, and hardworking.

This time, I am not starting from scratch. I have pieces of wins and realizations to guide me through.

Focus and trust the process. One sem at a time, one day at a time.

[honestlywisewitch]

This situation I am into right now brings a handful of lessons I must incorporate in life. I suppose this is actually me growing up and getting more mature. The confusion, doubts, and regrets are all part of my becoming.

But whatever I'll become, surely everything relies on me. Despite the people that surround me could either break or support me, I must be brave to choose for myself.

Opening up, expressing my all these emotions and rumbling thoughts in my head was a challenge that I bravely conquered. I didn't realize until recently that I actually have friends and family to give me the strength, assurance, and kindness that I need. Their wisdom and advices are pills that serve me wellness to survive and keep going. They revitalize my soul, and give me more hope and vision.

Sharing this journey with them, my part is to utilize the kindness and love they give to be the best that I can be.