hopestainedpages

[hopestainedpages]

[hopestainedpages]

Becoming a teacher, an engineer, a chef, a fire fighter, an accountant, or any other job/profession is a good thing- but they aren’t your purpose in life, and no one is less human if they are incapable of working

Your job is not your purpose in life

Becoming a wife/husband, a mother/father, a Sister, a Nun, a priest, a Brother, a religious, or a consecrated virgin is a good thing- but they aren’t your purpose in life either, and failing to find your vocation, or being unsure of what it is, doesn’t make you a failure

Your vocation is not your purpose in life

Your purpose in life is to know, love, and serve the Lord so that you may, by His grace, spend eternity with Him in heaven

Your purpose in life is to love God, and become a saint

[hopestainedpages]

6:02 am November 8th 2022

Someone said to me "Can I ask you something, if you don't mind?"

And I said "Of course."

They proceeded to respond with this (paraphrasing a bit due to forgetting the exact wording) "Why do you share such sad quotes? Your life looks so beautiful and you have so much to be happy about? These make me think you are unhappy."

Happiness isn't always a possible thing, even with a blessed life. There is always sufferings, and life isn't filled with promises of happiness, and contentment. Most lives, on the outside looking in, are cupcakes and rainbows. But do not forget, that cupcakes take time and effort, even some trial and error at times. And even rainbows don't show up till after a storm. So I guess what I am trying to say is, in this life, there will be many sorrows, and we aren't promised freedom from that here on earth, but there is a promise of peace and hope (ask me about that promise <3 ) even in moments where you can't quite figure out where the light went. The light is still there, it's just a little harder to see sometimes, and having a family, or having a beautiful garden, or eating healthy food, or even having nice things, or anything else we as humans strive for, won't protect us from drifting into weariness and sorrow.

I have a friend, though, who is the best of friends, who never ever goes back on a promise, never ever leaves me, even when all others have, I have a friend who saved me and continues to save me daily, hourly, every single second of the day. My Saviour, My Friend, My Jesus. And He longs to be the same kind of friend to you. He holds me through it all, He carries me through the dark into the light, He lifts me out of my slough of sorrows and places me upon meadows.

[hopestainedpages]

[hopestainedpages]

Don't let anyone gaslight you into thinking lockdowns didn't happen. People were arrested for going on boats. Churches were raided. People were ticketed outside in parks. Lockdowns created the greatest and fastest wealth transfer we have ever seen from small businesses to corporations. My state alone lost over 30% of its small and family businesses. People lost their livelihoods and plunged into poverty. Children lost years of development and socialization. Government locked sick people up with the most vulnerable of the population, creating thousands of unnecessary and excessive deaths.

Do not let anyone tell you that didn't happen.

[hopestainedpages]

[hopestainedpages]

8:39 am November 7th 2022

It took me awhile to truly feel all the excitement of motherhood. My mind was full of sorrow, for a freedom I took for granted. Time. All the time to do all the things. Time for sleep, when I wanted it. Time for creating, on my terms. All the time, all my terms. A selfish freedom I didn't realize I had.

Now I can't imagine going back to that. Doing what I want when I want. I cherish these moments of serving my child, of being there for him whenever he needs me. That feeling of being needed every day and every night, is a feeling I didn't know I was missing, but a feeling I now know I need. To care for my child, in love and devotion, with the outpouring of the Holy Spirits guidance. That, that is the life I desire now.

[hopestainedpages]

4:43 pm November 6th 2022

Exhausted. A mother's constant state.

Loved and needed. Also a mother's constant state.

[hopestainedpages]

8:43 pm November 4th 2022

Quiet is the night,

When little ones rest.

Mama dims the light,

And cares for her nest.

Sleep creeps in slow flight,

mama does her best.

But even mama needs to rest.

[hopestainedpages]

autumn is really like. i brought you some sunlight from when you were 10. didn't the world feel so bright to you then? i'll drench your hands in syrupy nostalgia, so everything you make is stained bittersweet. i'll ruffle your hair with an ice-kissed breeze--it'll be the kindest touch you've had in years. you finally feel like a part of something grander. i'm the last warm hand you hold before winter surrender.

[hopestainedpages]

Motherhood is mourning

The constant loss of yesterday

And who they used to be

The slow act of letting go

Motherhood is acceptance

That they will need and want less

Each year pulling away

Growing into independence

Motherhood is a small moment

Of being relevant again

But always being the safe space

Always having their back

Motherhood is the act of love

[hopestainedpages]

10:45 am November 4th 2022

Cuddling my little one as he falls asleep for his nap, I can't help but wonder how are relationship will change in the coming months, as our second is born. Will I still be able to cuddle my first at naps and bedtime, or will all my time but taken up with nursing and caring for a newborn. I hope I find a way to continue giving my first as much attention as he needs as we all transition into another new beginning.

[hopestainedpages]

1:46 pm November 2nd 2022

Wait, you don't struggle with meal planning and grocery lists?

[hopestainedpages]

[hopestainedpages]

9:53 am November 2nd 2022

Today I have been thinking about how I always feel as though I can never ever get everything done that I think I need to get done. How I need help more than I think anyone else needs help. Needing help makes me feel like I have failed as a stay at home wife/mother, even though in reality, everyone needs help. We just don't always see the struggles others are facing as they try and get through each day. People share the beautiful, aesthetically pleasing sides of their lives, and try and leave out the mess, the chaos that may be lingering off screen. They don't tend to share that they can't do it all by themselves, just like most of us. So I guess I am trying to say, you aren't a failure if you didn't finish those dishes without help, or if you didn't finish preparing supper without a bit of help with the kiddos. What matters is, your mindset as you try your very best to do what needs to be done to serve your family and most importantly to serve God. Are you thinking about the time wasting away, or the things you may not get to, are you thinking about the negative side of things as you do your duties throughout the day? Or are you thinking about pouring your heart and soul into what you CAN get done so whatever you are able to do, will shine through brightly and be filled with love? Homemaking and mothering needs to be done with the utmost care and be done in such a way that your love for those around you shines through what you do. It's not always about getting it all done as quickly as possible. Sometimes slowing down is what you need, do your work with love and peace, not stress and discontentment.

[hopestainedpages]

5:52 am November 2nd 2022

There is a crispness in the air today,

That still and cool sensation of autumn.

I feel all cozy and in need of relaxation first thing.

No rush, in the hush of the morning, just a time for quiet in the coolness of the breaking day.

The stress for getting it all done in time for this or that, lifted off of my shoulders, and rest curls around me like a cat's desire for attention.

The Lord is good and knows what I need this hour, and every moment in between.

He tells me "Rest now child, for the day is long and the path is steep."

On this autumn day where morning came but rest did also, no rush, in the hush of the breaking day.