iamn00nes

[iamn00nes]

[iamn00nes]

Guess who fasted on water for three days only to binge it all back 🤪🤙 gotta love life lmao

[iamn00nes]

…we don’t talk about it okay

[iamn00nes]

[iamn00nes]

My biggest red flag is that I will never settle for a man who will not worship my body&soul and kiss&lick the ground I walk on <3

a prayer

Les Félins (René Clément), Days of Being Wild (Wong Kar Wai), Malcolm T. Liepke, Gustav Vigeland (Eros and Psyche), Stephan Sinding (Adoration), Soul Eom (kiss, hug and die)

[iamn00nes]

I fucking hate Christmas.

[iamn00nes]

PLEASE READ!!!

Guys I really need some advice.. so for the past let’s say like 4-5 months I’ve been feeling SO shitty, that shitty that I can not even find the right words to describe how much. So, for those who don’t know (which is everyone lol), I’ve been in recovery since last December. My first collapse was in June or July (I don’t remember), and ever since I’ve been just going up and down like on a roll-coaster. At first, I had only slight collapses, like missing out meals or purposely eating just less in general, but with time it got only worse. Somewhere around August, my bulimia kicked in for the first time in eight months (I’ve struggled w both anorexia&bulimia, just so yk), and ever since I wasn’t able to stop. Then September till November, I’ve had collapses pretty much every second or third day, constantly battling with my own mind and whether I should keep pushing myself or give up. For the past month or so, it’s been the worst. Because I missed my period the last month, this month it came three times stronger, making me pass out so easily that I could barely even get up to get a water or changes into different clothes. My hair loss has never been worse, and my skin is so scarred from my acne that it’s almost painful to even lay down. I started to bruise so easily too, and my body lacks of so many vitamins that my nails and lips are almost constantly blue/purple. My scoliosis got so bad that I literally can not find a single position that I’ve been comfortable sleeping in, thanks to which I haven’t been able to sleep for the past couple of weeks. My insomnia got so bad that not even pills help on the headaches that the lack of sleep causes me, which also caused me missing many hours of school, and even when I’m there, I can barely focus on anything else but sleep. I’ve been visiting a therapist for the past year and few months, but it didn’t help. I’m incapable of open up about it. The only person who knows something bit more than just that I “struggle with food” is my step-mom, and there hasn’t been a single day that I wouldn’t regret that decision, because not only that I feel like a complete wrack, both physically and mentally, but now also emotionally. I feel so disgusted with myself and I can not even describe how scared I am for myself, because all it takes for me is one tiny sign and she could tell everyone. I’m not ready to give up on myself yet, I really want to try and get out of it somehow, but at the same time, I feel so done with trying. I’ve been battling both ana&mia for half a decade now, and it just feels like it’s never going to stop for me, no matter how hard I try. Now I’m not asking for y’all to convince me about one thing or the other, that’s my decision to make anyway, but I just simply want to know how you guys deal with this sort of a never ending cycle, and how do y’all manage not to go completely nuts..

[iamn00nes]

[iamn00nes]

Me 24/7

Relatable

[iamn00nes]

literally why can’t I just stop f—king eating bro

[iamn00nes]

Nah cause literally where the fuck did the time go—

[iamn00nes]

same girl

[iamn00nes]

in love <3

[iamn00nes]

My hands look kind of pretty here, what do u think? <3

[iamn00nes]

If he ain’t worshiping me like this, I don’t want him 🙄

You are too generous to trifle with me. I believe you spoke with my aunt last night, and it has taught me to hope as I had scarcely allowed myself before. PRIDE AND PREJUDICE 2005 | dir. Joe Wright

[iamn00nes]

[iamn00nes]

Some bitches really do be too sensitive nowadays lmao

me everyday watching people get cancelled for things i do on a daily basis