imasonspoorlywrittenreviews-blog

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Why are our grandparents better at commitment than us?

I know this isn't music related but I wrote this and thought you all might like it

In the ever-blooming world of instant immutable internet posts and irreparable damage to our eco system, why is it that the only thing that doesn’t seem to last these days is young people’s relationships.

When I think of old people I either think of a cute married couple sat in armchairs next to each other, drinking tea and reading newspapers. Or I think of a lonely old lady waiting to die so she can spend the rest of her afterlife with her husband.

In no situation do I think about a single nan living life to the full cos “she don’t need no man because all men are pigs and they just bring her down”. But why is that? why does it seem like everyone’s parents are getting divorced while their parents sit on the sideline happy as Larry?  Well, I think I’ve got the answer, through meticulous research, countless interviews with married couples and tens of minutes looking up divorce rates on google, I think I’ve finally discovered the answer.

We expect too much from our relationships. We expect to be happy in marriage which is why it seems to be a big bang shock horror when surprise surprise marriage is horrible. I thought about this and realized I needed more answers, so I decided to go speak to someone who was knowledgeable in this subject, somebody who has years of research on the topic, someone who’s never wrong, someone who knows everything; I went to go and speak to my nan.

After a casual exchange of niceties, chitchat and a fried egg sandwich, we finally got onto the pressing topic. I just straight outright asked her “nan why is it you and grandad together but no one else is” and her answer inspired and shocked me. “we’ve learnt to accept each other and we both have a mutual hate for each other” that response answered a lot of questions for me, and not just the original one I asked to gain that response.

this made me think more in-depth about the modern standards of relationships and what people expect. For instance, American divorce rates have risen from 10,600 in 1960 to 22,600 in 1980; that’s an increase of almost double within twenty years. Within those twenty years’ countless pro female movements took place and laws for gender inequality were passed. I believe that this timeline of events was instrumental to women around the world realizing how they should and shouldn’t be treated by their husbands, and thus created a boom in single angry recently divorced men.

However, I don’t believe this is all bad, and this comes down to the crux of why I think grandparents are that much better at commitment than us. Let’s take my grandmother for an example, my nan decided in 1978 that her husband wasn’t treating her well enough and filed for divorce (it was all sad, crying, heartbreak, drama all that jazz) but, she then moved on and found a new man. A man who knew that if he wasn’t nice to his wife then she’d leave him on the side of the road like a dead rabbit. And that’s exactly why, twenty years later, my nan and grandad are still together; because he’s terrified of her.

Well, that answers why the older generations are still together, but why aren’t young people. Is it because young men these days aren’t nice enough? I don’t think so; I believe it’s more do to with social media. When my parents were young they could only meet people face to face, or through a friend; whereas now an unlimited list of potential partners come straight to your fingertips in the form of pixels on a dimly lit L.E.D screen.

At any point in your relationship, you can decide to leave your partner, because you know it’s easy enough to meet another person. And with the rise of Grindr, Tinder and Meet Me, relationships are often being pushed to the side in place with a night consisting of a streaming service and promiscuous activity.

Why bother with all the pain and hurt that comes with love and marriage, when instead you can get to know a stranger for a day in your bed while watching Sharknado 5 Global Swarming?

All in all, I’m not sure if young people will ever get to grips with commitment, but maybe in the event of a complete technological blackout we might have more couples reaching their diamond anniversary.

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The Heavy Kentish Town Gig Review (November 22nd 2016) - Masons illiterate music reviews

found myself encountering many problems on the way to this particular gig which made me believe I wouldn’t enjoy myself.  I won't go into details about the problems I encountered getting there but, put it this way, I painted that lovely white train toilet a beautiful color of puke.

I don’t think I have ever drunk a cup of hot chocolate as quickly as I did when I arrived at Waterloo on that cold evening. But I'm so glad I did, it filled me with the energy that I needed to get the tube. The tube was packed all the way from Waterloo to Kentish Town however luckily a passenger noticed my friend having a heat stroke in a bin and offered him a seat.  After a tiresome and treacherous tube journey, my friend and I found our way to the front of the crowd. The crowd was so calm we didn’t even have to fight to keep our place at the front at all during the show. This was my second time at the venue (the last time to see Cage The Elephant) and I can honestly say both experiences were wildly different and both incredibly enjoyable. The venue is capable of creating environments for mosh pits and relaxed slow dancing.

By the time the first act started my head had stopped spinning and I was ready to dance. The opening act Moses is a lot like the Undertones if Feargal Sharkey was still in his twenties and recruited a kick-ass Korean shred guitar player and an overqualified heavy metal drummer. They tried their best to hype the audience but the people around me just weren't feeling it. Which was a shame because in the right environment Moses could be awesome, however, the environment of the gig was suave, sophisticated and swinging; not loud and obnoxious. Never the less I was definitely under the spell of Moses by the time they started destroying all of their equipment by, smashing it over guitar amps on stage; which is quite a ballsy (and expensive) move for a new band to pull.

The break between the two bands was definitely the weirdest pre-show crowd I've ever had the displeasure to experience, on my left I had a tall, bald man forcing himself onto a teenage girl and her mother on my left and a middle-aged woman dancing to silence on my right. It was a strange and uncomfortable situation, and it wasn’t helped by the lovely young gentleman behind me who kept reaching over my shoulder to touch the man in front's hair.  But everything changed when the band finally walked out onto the stage. The crowd started jumping around a cheering with excitement (me included)

Some bands when they come on stage start by giving a deep talk about how happy they are to be in their favorite venue in the world and how far they have come in the past few years. But not the heavy, the lead singer Kelvin Swaby walked onto the stage, picked up his 1960's style bulky microphone and screamed "are ya'll motherfuckers ready to dance" from that point on the crowd knew what kind of show they were in for.

Every inch of the heavy's performance oozed class and style like a volcano straight out of a Memphis jazz club. from the stylistic accented horn solo's that rang out during the show, to Kelvin Swaby's Trilby hat; everything twitched and pulsated with an overwhelming level of sophistication.

The band started off by playing three of their newest songs; even though I had never heard the songs before, I enjoyed them just as much as the songs I did know. This was mainly because of the call and response system Kelvin Swalby implemented before each song to teach the crowd the lyrics to the chorus.

The band worked impeccably together they were a perfectly rehearsed collective. Usually in a group, the main members of the band take all of the attention, however, the heavy managed to distribute the importance of all of the members evenly. Every member flowed􀁈 each other and all added to each others performance. The backing singers complemented Kelvins Swalby's performance perfectly with their siren-like voices and their carefree aura It seems to me The Heavy's main skill is making the crowd feel like they are part of the band. When I originally bought the tickets to this gig I was prepared for a largely dull performance from the band. This is due to the fact that before I see a band I do a lot of research; this Is because I like to know what I'm in for. During my research for the heavy, I found an early live performance of their song Short Change Hero which was at best underwhelming however I still bought tickets to the show because I am a big fan of the band's studio albums.

However, when they played their hit song "Short Change Hero it was perfect. Kelvin Swalby dug down deep to into his bag of showmanship tricks and pulled out one of the best performances I have ever witnessed.

He started the song by getting off the stage and singing with the crowd, I lost track of the number of times he sang his songs with me; it was honestly incredible. The band played perfectly throughout the entire show, and by the time the last note was played I felt a new level of satisfaction. The only thing I would 'liked to see more of would be improvised parts of songs, I would like it if the songs had longer social introductions and extra guitar solos; however, apart from that, the band have mastered the art of a live performance. I would rate this gig a 9.1 / 10

(check out the bands song “Curse Me Good” here) 

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Little T Road Rage Review- Mason's illiterate music reviews

In the past few months, the Blackpool music scene has gotten a new-found lease of life with the likes of Afghan Dan, Sophie Aspin and 7k Tha God spitting fresh fire on the Blackpool Grime Media YouTube channel.  

But recently a twelve-year-old boy dropped his debut single Road Rage, since then the name Little T terrifies any wannabe MC's; like a rude, unapologetic, rapping Voldemort

At first, everything seems innocent with the video starting with the trademark BGmedia intro montage of young children holding bottles of cheap alcohopop (clearly stolen from their mum's drinks cupboard) and the words "big up Jack Wilkinson on the cam" pasted across the screen in comic sans. The camera then cuts to a young boy with browny blonde hair in a North Face jacket standing in front of a brick wall. This is where most people get lulled into a false sense of security. The song starts with the now infamous bar " Yo, yeah start the bifta (meaning marijuana) I'm gonna rape your little sister (which is self-explanatory)

This line perfectly sets the tone for the rest of the song; it's childish crude and careless; but also incredibly smart. Little T knows how young he is and how he would be perceived by an unknowing audience and plays on this by being as offensive and adult as he can be. He is being offensive on purpose to get a reaction and to gain YouTube revenue, this young child is making money by doing something he loves and I believe that's oddly inspiring.

Apart from it being offensive the reason most people are opposed to this song because it's "made by a child" you know what else was made by a child? Mozart's Allegro in C, and Little T made these bars up on the spot, Mozart spent months composing that song, and it was only ten seconds long (amateur)

The song carries on with Little T dissing other MC's and people he knows. Some of his bars are incredibly underdeveloped; such as lines like,  "Marco you will get sparko (all good so far) your mum's on crack (still good) you look like your mum's mac" (and there the bar falls apart). However, he also says some strong memorable lines like "I am twelve it's my time to shine, shut your mouth or I'll break your mum's spine."

The song has a fast-paced groovy beat playing in the background that could get anyone dancing, even when there is a break in the Little T's magical lyrics. The beat was put into the song after the Lyrics were recorded which means you get a better level of audio quality. Most young grime artists play their beat off their phone speaker which ruins the audio quality.

But despite all of my praising this song does have a lot of flaws; it's not the kind of song you would ever expect to hear on the radio anytime soon. However it doesn’t want to be played on the radio, Road Rage is supposed to be a cult YouTube video, and that’s exactly what it will always be; It definitely comes under the category of a guilty pleasure. I hope this song has given Little T enough money to buy himself something nice, maybe a scooter.