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Ramesses II & Sekhmet. New Kingdom, 19th Dynasty. (1279-1213 BCE)

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Starting my journey into healing differently. I went to the er and got admitted. If you know I don’t really subscribe to the ways of our world, our government and our healthcare in The American healthcare system because even tho it can heal it’s made for experimentation and science. I’m gonna need all my prayer warriors to come out because I desperately need healing and need support, but you have so many sick ppl who…”talk the talk” but don’t walk the walk fr they’re here to just make the money and yell at you on instagram live they don’t want to heal you fr they’re a walking god complex and just need their ego stroked about how they’re right about this and they’re the best. This is not about being the best or being a leader this is about being a steward of god and it’s sad because as soon as many people say they’re a steward so many ppl would have allowed me to die in the streets and waited to see me fail to be in this very spot that I am now, but when I get out of here I really do plan on getting back I just need this first step to help my symptoms be at least manageable especially because I am out in the streets healing is very rough depending on where we are.

And it’s crazy to me that my family decided to…step in until things got terrible and I been asking for help, been telling them I’m being abused, been reaching my hand and how I’ve been there for them but they can’t reciprocate the energy. They can’t reciprocate the love that I give, the protection I provide, the provision, wisdom and genuine friendship I provide. It’s completely hurtful because even tho certain things are my doing I can only do what I can but for the adults who allowed this evil to partake over my life and then almost take my life then turn around and say they love me…how. If the shoe was on the other foot I would have never. I would have never. I would have never and that’s the other hurtful thing. Why would you do this to a child let alone a child you say you love? The same thing that happened to my mother and I wish she had the strength to make it. I’m gonna fight and I’m gonna fight for myself. I need to heal and that’s my 1st focus even if I don’t get the support from my family, from my lover, from my friends/peers, and from my community who claims to be a healer guiding ppl. You’re not the ppls healer you are the healer of self now capitalizing off of it. You’re not a healer you’re a product manager.

I’m hear to heal and that is the work of the lord you cannot put a price tag on that and it’s only a few I feel that is really operating in the work of the lord when it comes to the work of healing🙏🏾 that I respect and that I admire and that pushes to continue on this journey. God I ask you please do not give up on me.

If you’ll like to help me and support me especially financially on this journey. Cashapp: $222sun

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⭐Vitamin Cheat Sheet⭐

Vitamin A: Vision, immune system, skin health.

Vitamin B1 (Thiamine): Energy metabolism, nerve function.

Vitamin B2 (Riboflavin): Energy production, skin health.

Vitamin B3 (Niacin): Cellular energy production, skin health.

Vitamin B5 (Pantothenic Acid): Metabolism, hormone production.

Vitamin B6: Brain function, mood regulation.

Vitamin B7 (Biotin): Healthy hair, skin, and nails.

Vitamin B9 (Folate): Cell division, DNA synthesis.

Vitamin B12: Nervous system, red blood cells.

Vitamin C: Immune system, collagen synthesis.

Vitamin D: Bone health, immune function.

Vitamin E: Antioxidant, skin health.

Vitamin K: Blood clotting, bone health.

Calcium: Bone and teeth health, muscle function.

Iron: Oxygen transport, energy production.

Magnesium: Nerve function, muscle relaxation.

Zinc: Immune system, wound healing.

Potassium: Fluid balance, nerve function.

Iodine: Thyroid function, metabolism.

Selenium: Antioxidant, thyroid health.

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Watermelon & It’s Benefits

Watermelon being in the south is a fruit that is southerners love by especially in the hot seasons. I get fresh watermelon juice from the farmer’s market every Saturday. It’s refreshing, light and delicious, but did you know that watermelon is like most fruits hella delicious so here’s some quick notes and facts I found of why we and our body loves the watermelon plant

The Benefits

-the whole watermelon is edible and good for you it’s alkaline

-the rind is one of the most medicinal parts of the plants great for the skin, packed with vitamins and minerals as well as heart health

-originated in north east Africa Sudan, Egypt area

-cultivated in Egypt in 2,000bc been known for 5,000yrs

-perfect summer fruit because its predominantly water 92%

-seeds are important very nutrient dense

-the seeds rich in magnesium which is the relaxing the body and blood pressure, loaded with folate(good for mental health), loaded with fatty acids)

-loads of fiber and natural sugars

-lycopene in red watermelon is 40% more than a tomato

  -    Anti inflammatory   

-hydrating to the body

-lowers the inflammation in prostate and helps with all prostate issues

  -increases hdl and decreases ldl(unhealthy cholesterol that clogs our arteries and blood vessels resulting in various of ailments or heart attacks or strokes)

  -great for heart health       -neuropathy protective

citruline an amino acid in watermelon is good for muscle recovery and relief

-non essential amino acid                   

  -widens the blood vessels by boosting nitrite oxide opening up the blood vessels

-Great for skin bc it’s loaded in vitamin c which is loaded with collagen. Vitamin a which helps with repairing the skin by hydrating it. Vitamin b6 helps with breakouts

-Great for liver and kidney health

-Aphrodisiac increasing libido by increasing blood flow to the penis

-Great for digestion and removing waste from the colon

-Great detoxification

-Self nourishment

-Loose unhealthy weight and maintain healthy weight

  Tip cashapp: $222sun

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So I’m fucking around and finding out Lmaoo. Tryna get back right You know the girlies and I’m pretty sure some of the fellas too wanna know how I keep this waist snatched and I’ll give you some of the tea…no pun intended on how we’re staying in shape, healthy and know transitioning into winter were strengthening our immune system. A lot of the tips and things that I’m sharing is actually a perfect time because a lot of these things would be perfect time to implement while we go through this phase of hibernation. By summer we wanna pop tf out and be our best selves. With me it was a spiritual journey more than anything.

Before we get into the good stuff 1st I wanted to get into with you guys is the body. Our bodies are temples right. They’re the temples of our individual consciousness so it’s important they are well taken care of and remain in constant balance with ourselves.

Being healthy comes from that our body is a piece before we start any journey the 1st thing we want to do is make sure our bodies are at peace. When committing to a holistic lifestyle for whatever reason it requires discipline and it’s hard to remain discipline if you’re not at a stable level of peace. Without that peace you’ll be traveling down a wormhole in space. So work on meditating and grounding yourself everyday centering on the goals as well as the transformation you’re beginning to take in becoming a more whole you. Once you master the mind you’ll begin to be ready to master the body.

•cascara sagrada. •nettle leaf

Now 1st thing we’ll be doing is removing the waste that harbors in the body. Creating diseases, excess fat, mental fog, skin issues and bad gut. One of the key components in detoxing is understanding gut health and cleaning the gut. The gut is connected to our nervous system which in return is connected to how we feel. Once we get that together we can kickstart the process easily. Restoration has begun. Starting our detox process with these two herbs for me has worked because cascara sagrada is a known herbal laxative cleaning the colon. In turn helping us remove waste, get rid of stomach fat and promote better food digestion. Which I need okay I been eating so unhealthy and I need to just kickstart getting the trash out of my body. I’m gonna follow it up daily with nettle. (Cascara only once or twice a week. It’s extreme and with laxatives you never wanna take often just to kickstart your process then when you’re feeling irregular or constipated.) We’re following up with nettle because this plant is so high in nutrients and vitamins as well as so gentle but effective it’s recommended to expectant mothers. Nettle good for the joints and bones, great for beauty and great for boosting the immune system. Nettle is also great for magical purposes as well. Great for protection, attracting wealth as well as purification which we are doing purifying our body as well as giving the body restoration needed to obtain strength and wellness. Especially by getting rid of the accum waste of the body and mind. If you cannot do the intensity of cascara degrade which is not recommended for those with kidney issues, inflammatory bowl diseases, stomach pain or appendix issues. I’ll recommend

With any laxative especially the activated charcoal which is a total reset use probiotics to restore those lost for a healthy gut flora. I also love to take my charcoal with aloe juice

Lakewood is my favorite brand of pre pressed juices at the current moment. Or another good one that’ll give you that glow is celery or a good green juice.

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What Makes A Dish Delectable? (Demonstration in How to Construct Salads You'll Actually Crave) | Notes from an Amateur Gastronomist

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So today I had court again for the same case. I just want to move forward in my life and I’m tired of people trying to create havoc and push their projections of superficiality on my life. That’s what it’s like being a beautiful soul around tortured miserable souls. They want you miserable too. I have to take some classes and idk whether to thank god because it could be worse or whether to be angry because it’s like this is another thing impeding on time for me to handle the overwhelming things I have to manage myself. And this is another sign of abuse. The trauma of just wanting to live and the abuse that I deal with because of people not wanting my life to be worth living is so traumatizing I don’t want to get close to anyone. I just wanna disappear rest and deal with these emotions. Emotions of…why?just why sometimes is all I can ask. Jealousy is really one hell of a demon bro fr. People just want to strip you bare and want your life to servicing them to be comfortable.

That’s what happens when you’re a person like me everyone just wants control and dictatorship over your life. The life of being…the easy target. The one no one speaks up for? The one that people don’t wanna see as a person? I have to be what they see me as very rare I get viewed as I am for what I am. Just disrespect constant disrespect and cookery. The one that has to either accept the abuse or accept the consequences of not accepting the abuse and if I die just another victim of a capitalist, prejudice, ignorant world full of insecure ppl who are hungry for power. I wish someone could come in and make a change. Put people with hearts and who has the greater good of the people in my mind to do these jobs . Not trying to gain power just to abuse it bc outside of what they do they feel powerless. Thats why I’m focusing more and more into loving my natural self, focusing on connecting to god more and trying to eat healthy. Trying to keep these vibrations high while dealing this. These witches wanna block my ability to manifest and call in shit lol. I’m far from dumb and less I’m able to speak the more spirit can’t hear me. They know what’s going on and they know I’m a person here surviving abuse on a global scale and I just wanna be able to move on and heal. I talk want to talk to you, see, kick it or anything with no bitch from my past you had your chance. Let someone else love and love on me properly and move on to your next “victim”. People tend to forget who’s sometimes the ppl running these systems and they’re apart of it. Wives who know their husband a pedofile, abusers, serial killers, witches, warlocks, reptilians just some real crazy shit who uses these political establishments just for the reasoning of having access to an abundance of ppl and they’re the ones who enforces the rules. It’s sick and a lot of the ppl who are in the streets, gone crazy, can’t afford to live day to day life are victims of those said barriers mentioned. Everyday they have to fight warfare or become a victim to it and it’s sad. Our souls being collected like infinity stones and we just allow it.

These witches literally smell when one our black ppl are destined for greatness nd be careful because they’ll sabotage it and try to destroy or take it. The moment we submit is the moment instead of our walk being with god is the moment we make a deal with the devil. That’s how they harvest our energy by keeping us stuck and we have to protect ourselves, learn how to cleanse those energies up of us and learn how to have the discipline to stay in alignment. For me and this warfare I’m dealing with guys alignment is so important and my ass strayed off the path not too long ago and guys spirit message

I’m working hard doing everything to fight this warfare off and baby it’s not easy and discipline is the key. It’s so crazy how when you know you’re going through something bigger than you nd you’re dealing with hella unawakened energies that find solace in the ignorance instead of discomfort. You’ve made yourself comfortable with the energy of lack and bad karma. So don’t blame life for your shitty outcomes maybe change the energy you’re in and it’s crazy how a lot of ppl who chose to stay just to have the house, the car, the lifestyle of marriage the superficiality but not the actual love and connection to spirit and god is mad at the person who had the courage to leave. Like I thought that’s what you wanted for me to do was go. No you wanted me to submit to your wack ass control that’s not even in the best interest of anybody but yourself. Why must I sacrifice myself for your ego and shitty confidence? Why can’t you umm do some shadow work insecure bitches and learn to appreciate beauty as a whole meaning including your own individual beauty outside of comparison mode. It’s so disgusting. Then more disgusting when ppl cannot have the emotional intelligence of this is not the time for all of this.

Sometimes tho you need the spiritual solitude of being able to tune others out. And I’ve become really good at it but it doesn’t mean that I still don’t have feelings and the drive some people have to hurt my feelings makes me act like I don’t and the truth is I do and I have moments where all this shit gets to me and I ask myself when will I finally get the peaceful environment I’m looking for. And where is it? Because I don’t feel it’s Savannah, but I love all Savannah has to offer but Savannah doesn’t love me. So it’s time to go somewhere I can feel the…love. Too much hoe shit you know and I’m evolving past that. Sad times but I still have hope.

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In this time I’m learning how to navigate pain. Being in a space of having to allow myself to be taken care of & taking care of self I learned how I felt I was deserving of love. I feel in my life I am to be so broken down that I forget that I could be genuinely loved. Yes we know that there’s ppl in the world who’s has phobia towards those in the community, but we also have to deal with a lot of jealousy. The jealousy of when people love us they actually can say they love us because we’re living in our truth and they know who we are. Literal walking expressions of authenticity embodiments of god, but my authenticity and my will to not conform to a world who tells me that in order to make it I have to sell myself. In which I fell victim to at one point, feeling like I had to conform. I have to deal with the pain that comes with the hardships of being trans, being black, being an empress and being beautiful. I have to deal with the pain and the suffering of choosing to be authentic. People love to hate and hate to love someone who can be themselves without identifying the projections of the environment around them. Everyday I have to deal with someone trying to break my spirit bc of their lack thereof….spirit. It’s not easy. To live without. To be starved. To be forced to live in poverty. To be humiliated in front of ppl on a daily basis and the most someone is willing to give me is sex. No love, no support, no genuine care, no respect. Being confident in an insecure world the world begins to put you down to humble you bc who tf do you think you are. Loosing toxic relationships and people all around you. And I think of the pain I have to deal with knowing all I’ve been through or all I continue to go through and the only thing ppl can say to me is I look beautiful which is great but physical beauty is limiting and it entraps you. I literally cannot tell you the last time I’ve been nurtured before my trip to pure sweat sauna bar but I can tell you when’s the last time someone came to me for sex. I can’t tell you the last time I’ve had a relationship where I had no betrayal or didn’t end up beefing with a bitch after I literally prayed for them and thanked god for them. So then I ask myself do I be alone or do I use this attention to my advantage? Who do I trust?

My heart has been hurting so heavy and to be honest not even just for myself. Just been hurting bc I know so many people who go through the same things I go through. Who don’t have the strength or capacity to see it through and I get on knees and cry out to god. I hold my heart and I hurt bc when will things change whose gonna fight for them and I cry bc god could I do it? Can I be the change that’s needed for our kids, for our marriages, family, peers, our community. Who’s gonna shut this shit down. The outwardly oppressive nature of people and their need to abuse their power and because they’re the ones in power you get scared to speak. We need more good apples in the bunch fuck the superficiality fuck this reality tv shit. We need more practitioners, more doctors, more politicians, better ppl in the homeless shelters, more creative opportunities for the natives. We need a fresh start. You convince yourself it’s not that bad and in turn instead of ppl rallying behind you to stand on business it’s so much bigger than me. I think of this young kid who went through what I did being abused for being gay and for being trans by those who was supposed to raise me and protect they didn’t. Instead they rally and laugh and the mess they create and so many ppl die at the negligences of other ppl. My mother’s death for example. She was so neglected, so afraid to allow herself to be vulnerable, taken care of just loved to the point she lost her life. It hurt to see the same ppl saying r.i.p. was the same ppl who watched her demise and they could’ve did something then go to sleep at night like not my problem. When she was here where were you to show her the love and support she needed while she was sick? Where was y’all after the funeral? Where was y’all after taking her stuff? And for me I’m no longer fighting for relationships that don’t want to be had. Especially ones that are superficial and I guess that’s why I’ve been hurting because the death of my mother really showed me how alone I really am and how much she had to fight. I literally feel her pain sometimes nd it took a while for me to get to this place of feeling like myself. Feeling like I don’t need these vices or need these people who do nothing but add to my suffering instead of relieving it. A lot of “adults” really should be ashamed of themselves to be honest and if you can look at yourself as an adult in the mirror and love yourself after abusing a child or watching a child suffer you are sick and consider getting some help. Especially the ones within my family. Y’all spend your lives hating and tearing down the lives(not all, but if this triggers you. You need to ask yourself…why?) of the younger generation because you’re still a little kid in need of healing. That pain of having to walk away from those I’ve known, those I once loved, those who I realized gave no fucks about me lingers in my heart and soul and I don’t know if that will ever leave me. But the more I get to walk this life in my authenticity the more I heal, the more I grow and the more love I’m loving giving to those who deserve it. Life is not easy for nobody, but the least we can do is make it easier for each other by showing one another that it is indeed safe to live within love. Safe to be yourself. Safe to love yourself and safe to love others.

The more I feel pain. The more it reminds me that although I’m an intergalactic ex terrestrial being im still a human being on this earth. I can cry, I can laugh, I can be angry, I can literally do stupid shit and it’s okay. The more I feel pain the more I feel alive, but I’m in a space of switching that narrative to the more I feel love the more I feel alive. My self love pumps the blood out of my heart to another and that’s the beauty of being here. I know now without pain there’s no bliss, just like there’s no breath without air or no oceans without water. They have to coexist, but we do not have to stay stuck in cycles that aren’t good for us. It’s okay to be…healthy and we’re learning that umm…healthy is cool. That’s the true abundance and anything that just is not working is just unhealthy and we don’t want that. We don’t want to continue to constantly hurt ourselves bc of the lack of love we feel which is a lack of self love. I love myself so much that if I never get married, never get that dream house, never get that luxurious lifestyle I’m manifesting for myself, if I never have a family of my own wouldn’t say I’ll be happy, but I’ll be okay. Bc the love of myself which is also a love/connection to my 1st husband which is god is enough and I have enough to give to those who need it. I hope you felt it and I hope you don’t feel bad for not giving it back or if you didn’t feel the same bc it was genuine and you deserved that. Never settle for less bc you’re beautiful and I hope you begin to see that and treat yourself as such. Male or female. You’re beautiful so act like it and I need to start acting like it myself. Y’all I be forgetting who tf I am sometimes and I get so much hate I forget about the genuine love I get that have me in tears and remind me to keep going. And I get that love just by being myself so be yourself.

So I made a vow to take better care of myself as well as taking responsibility for my own life. discipline. Is step one for me. I found this sauna place which may be my new sanctuary if they’ll allow and I recommend y’all go. It’s such a beautiful place owned by a beautiful woman(she’s so knowledgeable stay tuned for the video. It felt so nice to be taught and so nice to sweat out everything as well as immerse myself closer to spirit) ran by women and it just felt like home. These next six months I promise they’ll be seeing me more. Something I wish we did more is take care and uplift our healers fr. So guys support, uplift and show love to them bc they showing it to us by providing spaces like these as you should be grateful. Savannah is such a trauma filled space including for myself and it needs healing. Sometimes I feel I need to leave bc the ptsd of being in these streets and the things I seen, the lovely connections and ppl I lost, and the things we did just to survive. As I navigate that pain I dive further into my healing and further into a deeper understanding of what it means to love & love yourself. 🙏🏾

If you know me I love a good sweat. One of my secrets to staying snatched mentally, physically, spiritually and emotionally fr. Sometimes going to the gym is draining, but if you eat well, move your body a bit and sit in the sauna boy that weight & extra baggage will start falling off. Here’s some extra benefits as well for internal and external health.

1. Helps you relax

2. Improves heart health

3. Decrease chronic pain

4. Detoxification

5. Burns calories

6. Assists in workout recovery

7. Great for brain health

8. Induces better sleep

9.Weight management/loss

10. Boosts immune system & fights illness

11. Cleanses your skin

12. Respiratory system

13. Helps fight addiction providing recreational benefits

14. Improves flexibility

15. Great for prayer/meditation time.

I hope y’all enjoyed this message and very vulnerable post. Love y’all. I love myself. I love god. Thank you god and I pray you all can find that peace with god and yourself as I found in my short 25yrs of living and it’s only growing.

Cashapp: $222sun.

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Coupe de filet by Robert Laliberté ca. 1997

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Let it hurt, then let it heal.

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Body