in-paradox-space
History doesn't repeat itself; it rhymes.
"To love at all is to be vulnerable. Love anything and your heart will be wrung and possibly broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact you must give it to no one, not even an animal. Wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements. Lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your selfishness. But in that casket, safe, dark, motionless, airless, it will change. It will not be broken; it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable. To love is to be vulnerable." -
C.S. Lewis, "The Four Loves"
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I'm much more positive outside of Tumblr.
I'm trying to do the right thing but I'm not sure if that exists.
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just clicked the thirst trap story of someone and i dont even look at stories...
oops
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Pink + White
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cringetober 06 <neko/animal> you can pry these coloures from my cold, dead, tasmanian-devil-ish hands
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Why is she sorting the peanuts at the bar. So autistic
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havent smoked or took my meds today and man it is so nice and such a relief to just not have the voices in my head and to feel relief, like im not psychotic
im not believing all those delusions that i believed last night or the other nights
when i had the concoction of sleep dep, caffeine, medicine and energy in me and with all the other things
i also woke up after my girlfriend slept.
and i am not as anxious now... even now trying to like say things in the best way possible is one imma not do for my sake
after having such mental clarity for a few hours
i wonder what would allow me to keep it... it was nice
no head rushing this afternoon. for 6 hours after waking
no matter what happens next those really nice calm serene parts of my day took place
and with that
i am grateful i woke up after 5pm
because no matter what wouldve happened if i was up earlier
i have so much peace now
and i am glad i am able to be so well and equip it
i might just watch an old movie like a will ferrell movie or something the ones that were filmed on tape and just not think and relax that'd be so nice
#personal#psychosis#text post#hope#respite in calmness#i used to use the 2nd tag when i was going through that#well#i wonder if it is the medicine that did this#it feels so ... well paced ... without it#when i take it i feel physically ok#i can breathe#and stop#then after that nothing stops me just taking another breath.#its good#prayer is definitely something involved in the goodness i feel#imma observe how it feels without my meds more often#its such a shame like i am told to take it every day#and it makes it so hard to think to function#is it why i feel delusional#sleep dep caffeien and constantly thinking about how i seem in social situations adds to it#feelings of guilt#manifested in grandiose behaviour believing i have to do everything perfect#not even knowing what perfect is#yet still persecuting myself to act like i know it#persecuting myself if i dont act with the full great strength to do everything#its unrealistic an exxpectation of myself i should just have some empathy for myself and i should have some care for myself
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we'll vanish too
instagram @matialonsor
PRINTS
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Hang in there
instagram @matialonsor
PRINTS
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i needed to read this today so im sharing it to all of you!!
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the thing about malice is that all we who have it just want to be the only ones who possess it. If we ever see anyone else wielding it we want to fight it out of them.
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ive lost so many online friends to they changed their name and profile pic
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Page 334 - To tell or not to tell
Sry for slow updates. Mental block and burnout for some reason (><)/
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