incorrect-get-scared-quotes-blog

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Nick: Raven is out of town. I'm gonna cut all the sleeves off my shirts.

Lloyd: What, why?!

Nick: She's 99% of my impulse control.

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*out for dinner*

Nick:Can someone pass the salt?

Lloyd:*yeets dan across the table*

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Nick after Johnny had a bad day: You know, the darkest nights bring the biggest stars.

Johnny:That's nice...

Nick:My mom got it from Weight Watchers.

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Nick, holding a large box: what would you say if I came one day with 5 kittens?

Lloyd:

Lloyd: What's in the box?

Nick:

Lloyd: Nick whats in the box?!

Nick: I think you know.

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Johnny:What did you have for dinner?

Lloyd:I had a salad.... Actually a fruit salad... It was mostly grapes... It was all grapes... Fermented grapes... I HAD WINE FOR DINNER OKAY?!

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Nick:Why aren't there playgrounds for adults? Like, everything's the same but bigger.

Lloyd:There are, they're called theme parks.

Nick:But you have to pay for those!

Lloyd:That's the adult part.

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Adam:Should we do karaoke night again?

Lloyd:No one can know about that!

Adam:So next Saturday?

Lloyd:...Sure.

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Nick, after almost falling off stage:This is probably the second weirdest way I've almost died.

Johnny:What's the first?

Nick:Long story short, my family is banned from every Olive Garden in Texas.

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Lloyd:Why did the chicken cross the road?

Adam:Why?

Lloyd:To get to the idiots house. Knock Knock.

Adam:Who's there?

Lloyd:THE CHICKEN!

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Nick:Crap!

Johnny:WHO THE FUCK TAUGHT YOU TO SPEAK LIKE THAT?!

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Lloyd:Okay, sound check. Nick, sing something.

Nick: 🎶It's a small world after all, it's a small world after all! Its a small world after all, its a small, small world🎶

Lloyd:Go to hell. Okay, Adam. Your turn. Sing something.

Adam: 🎶I'm just a kid who's four, each day I grow some more🎶

Lloyd:I hate you both.

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Is your ass jealous of all the shit that just came out of your mouth?!

Lloyd to Adam

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I act like everything is okay, but deep down, my sock is sliding down in my shoe.

Nick, most likely

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I thought it would be easy peasy lemon squeezy, but it was difficult difficult lemon difficult.

Nick, probably

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Nick:Love is dead and never existed. All you did was betray me as I lay sick and festering. You are the definition of dread.

Johnny:Are you okay?

Nick:My cat stole my fucking garlic bread!

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Adam:What kind of monster do you think I am?!

Nick:Shape Shifter

Lloyd:Vampire

Johnny:Poltergeist

Dan:Zombie!

Adam: