incorrect-homestuck

[incorrect-homestuck]

Dave: DUDE FUCKING THANK YOU I LOVE YOU

Dave: LET ME KNOW IF YOU EVER NEED THAT DICK SUCKED!

[incorrect-homestuck]

Vriska: Tez, how does that pan out on the big board?

Terezi: i ate all the states... IM A MONSTER

[incorrect-homestuck]

Dirk: What, you want to summon meteors and stop time and shit?

Dirk: Fucking wizard

Dirk: Go put on your star and moon hat you conjuror

[incorrect-homestuck]

CA: wwanna go out sometime?

CC: i )(ave a buoyfrond

CA: you deserve twwo boyfriends

[incorrect-homestuck]

Jane: Where's Dirk?

Roxy: uh

Roxy: family emergency

Jane: Dirk doesn't have a family.

Roxy: thats the emergency

[incorrect-homestuck]

Aradia: s0mething terrible is g0ing t0 happen t0 y0u

Tavros: hOW,, dID YOU COME TO THAT CONCLUSION?

Aradia: the signs are everywhere

Aradia: y0ur tea leaves f0r example

Aradia, pointing at Tavros's cup: a rabbit with a dagger in its back

Aradia: an unseen threat awaits us

Tavros: tO ME IT LOOKS LIKE SONIC,, eATING A PRETZEL

Aradia: even w0rse

[incorrect-homestuck]

Terezi : 1 TH1NK W3 SHOULD 4DOPT 4NOTH3R K1D

Vriska : No

Terezi : WHY?

Vriska : 8ecause 8y ‘kid’ you mean ‘lizard’ and we already have 50

Terezi reaching into her pocket : 4CTU4LLY…51

[incorrect-homestuck]

Kanaya: Dont Talk To Me I Dropped My Cashew On The Floor At Wal Mart

Kanaya: Dont Hug Me Mom I Had My Cashew Stolen From Me At Wal Mart

Kanaya: They Confiscated My Cashew

(source: thebootydiaries)

[incorrect-homestuck]

Eridan: consider: us, but tarot cards

Vriska: We can't have twelve fools.

Eridan: listen, i dont rightly knoww howw to describe it but that wwas the vverbal equivvalent of puncturing the hull of the boat you're standin on and stayin on till the end

[incorrect-homestuck]

kankri: There is 9nly 9ne race—the tr9ll race. karkat, punching him: WHAT ABOUT NASCAR?

[incorrect-homestuck]

TT: so like

TT: we have the same handle this is weird

TT: Yes, it is quite weird. How would, say, a colorblind person tell us apart?

TT: well I dont use perfect grammar like you do

TT: I see.

TT: What if I use correct grammar? Is that confusing?

TT: YES

TT: I bet you're so confused.

TT: oh shut up

TT: Did you just... Talk to yourself?

TT: yes

[incorrect-homestuck]

-- tipsyGnostalgic [TG] began pestering timaeusTestified [TT] --

TG: heyy how mnay swords do u have

TT: Sword of a lot.

TG: blocked

TT: Parried

[incorrect-homestuck]

Dave: rose i need you to kin assign me

Rose: Joe.

Dave: joe wh-

Dave: wait

Dave: nO

[incorrect-homestuck]

Terezi: 1N TH3 3ND, TH3 R34L CR1M3 W4S TH3 FR13NDSH1P W3 FORG3D 4LONG TH3 W4Y

Vriska: You realize that doesn't actually make any sense, right?

Terezi: JUST SHUT UP 4ND L3T M3 H4V3 MY MOM3NT VR1SK4

Terezi: NOW C4N W3 G3T 4 MOV3 ON??

Terezi: 1 C4M3 UP W1TH L1K3 T3N CR1M3S 1N TH3 L4ST F1V3 M1NUT3S 4ND 1M 4LL K1NDS OF 3XC1T3D TO TRY TH3M OUT

[incorrect-homestuck]

Terezi: FUCK

Terezi: 1S 4RSON ST1LL 1LL3G4L 1F 1 D1DNT M34N TO??

Terezi: PROB4BLY NOT R1GHT??

Vriska: No, I'm pretty certain that's still a crime

Terezi:

Terezi: OH MY GOG

Terezi: 1'M 4 CR1M1N4L NOW

Terezi: MY CAR33R MY DR34MS 4LL UP 1N FL4M3S

Terezi: JUST L1K3 US 1N T3N M1NUT3S 1 GU3SS

Vriska: Hey, you still have a future even if you did commit arson!

Vriska: I'm sure you'd do fine as, I don't know, a low level pyramid scheme administr8or, or a serial noise ordinance violator

Vriska: Hell, you could even 8e my sidekick if you wa-

Terezi: R34LLY??

Terezi: YOU'D B3 MY CR1M3 S1D3K1CK??

Vriska: Not what I said, 8u-

Terezi: VR1SK4, 1 R34LLY M1SJUDG3D YOU

Terezi: W3'LL B3 TH3 B3ST CR1M3 DUO 1N 4LT3RN14!!

[incorrect-homestuck]

Terezi: SO 1T TURNS OUT TH3 R34L CR1M3 COM1TT3D H3R3 W4S 4RSON 4ND 1 W4S TH3 CR1M1N4L

Terezi: TH3 HOUS3 1S ON F1R3 NOW

Terezi: W3R3 PROB4BLY GO1NG TO D13

Vriska: W8, you lit the house on fire????????

Terezi: 4CC1D3NT4LLY! 1 4CC1D3NT4LLY ST4RT3D 4 BUNCH OF F1R3S 1N L1K3 H4LF TH3 ROOMS OF TH3 HOUS3 4ND N3V3R PUT TH3M OUT

[incorrect-homestuck]

Terezi: 4H4!!

Terezi: TH1S P41NT1NG MUST B3 4 PUZZL3!!

Terezi: 1 B3T 1F 1 SOLV3 1T 1LL F1ND 4NOTH3R P13C3 OF 3V1D3NC3 OF VR1SK4'S CR1M3S

Terezi, touching a candle to the painting: 1F 1 JUST T4KE TH1S 4CTU4L C4NDL3 4ND US3 1T TO L1GHT TH3 ON3 1N TH3 P41NT1NG

Terezi: ...

Terezi: TH3N TH3 3NT1R3 P41NT1NG WILL CATCH F1R3

Terezi: HUH

Terezi: NOT WH4T 1 W4S 3XP3CT1NG

Terezi: PR3TTY L4M3 PUZZL3 1F YOU 4SK M3