CONDESCE: da grand highblood woke up from his midnite bottle a faygo n wants 2 meet u
CONDESCE: just try 2 maintain eye contact n dont look lower than his neck. its pantsless tuesday in his office
DUALSCAR: thats insane. today is monday
CONDESCE: dats ur concern?
DUALSCAR: if im gonna be miserable i vwwant my misery to make sense
113 notes
·
View notes
Tanith: Are you okay?
Valkyrie: I'm as okay as I can be.
Tanith: That's not the same thing as okay.
Valkyrie: It's diet okay. It doesn't taste the same, but drink it long enough and you forget the flavour of the real stuff.
71 notes
·
View notes
Badrang, being dragged out of bed at dawn by Clogg: Ow! Ow! Fucking fucking fuck!
Clogg: Sorry, chummer! Methinks ye've got Talk Like a Pirate Day mixed up with Swear Like a Sailor Day.
18 notes
·
View notes
Hannibal: Are you okay?
Face: I'm as okay as I can be.
Hannibal: That's not the same thing as okay.
Face: It's diet okay. It doesn't taste the same, but drink it long enough and you forget the flavor of the real stuff.
27 notes
·
View notes
Olive: The word "incident" isn't reassuring.
Mandrake: Then you're gonna hate the phrase "intentional grease fire".
7 notes
·
View notes
Reese: Hi Quentin! Listen, your aunt was saying that if we want-
Quentin: Wait! What the hell, Reese?!
Reese: What? What did I do?
Quentin: You've grown! You're taller than me and you're two years younger!
Reese: You've never heard of growth spurts?
Quentin: ...Only in legends.
0 notes
You make me understand how wonderful eet ees for leettle leezards when zey find zat one special rock zat's perfect for sunning zemselves on. You make me lizard-happy.
Pepe le Pew to Penelope Pussycat
1 note
·
View note
Shoutout to people with trauma that is uncommon.
Shoutout to people with trauma that little people have experienced.
Shoutout to people who have had trauma from multiple sources, making their experience unique.
Shoutout to people with trauma who struggle to find anyone who went through what they went through.
111 notes
·
View notes
DAVE: your comic needs more ninjas
BRO: What are you talking about? It’s full of ninjas.
DAVE: i dont see any
BRO: They’re really good ninjas.
72 notes
·
View notes
Reading the Sabbat: The Black Hand v5 book, and it is apparently impossible for me not to see the Sabbat through a Queering Vampirism lense with some of the ways they're describing it. It's very obviously not what they're Trying to do, but that's the impression I'm getting anyway.
Like they start by saying the Purpose of the Sabbat is fundamentally to challenge the status quo, right before calling them fundamentally evil/monstrous antagonists and right after describing how scared all the other kindred are of them and how inscrutible they find their motivations. And then they go right into talking about the philosophy of embracing the Beast and fundamentally Cainite traits and inhumanity/monstrosity (what they are and what seperates them from the rest of society, the Other, which in this reading is also Queerness), to the horror of everyone else, and it's considered fundamentally an aspect of self destruction (see: how people act about trans surgeries). Also, treating something otherwise extremely taboo (ex. diablerie) as a "sacrament", like treating what is normally taboo/reviled as divine isn't also incredibly queer. Also alienation from society and difficulty forming connections.
You couldn't create a queer allegory more like catnip to me if you tried, is what I'm saying
45 notes
·
View notes
Cluny: I'm not an infant. I'm a grown man who thinks his doctor should be able to take his temperature in a more dignified way, like the forehead, ear, or - and this may seem novel - under the tongue.
Sela: Whatever you say, sir, but you're the first person to ask me to stick a rectal thermometer in his mouth.
19 notes
·
View notes
Louis: (texting Roman about his breakup) It's my own fault. I ignored all the red flags and let myself get hurt, and now he's gone on to the next bigger, better deal.
Roman: First off, I'm not going to let you be down on yourself. Second, Reese and I are here for you.
Louis: Thanks. And please tell Reese not to go apeshit.
Roman: Oh, sure, just tell me how to get to the alternate reality where I married someone who makes calm choices.
Reese: (packing behind Roman) Ask Louis which airport is closest to his ex: I have to look up which airline offers "I need to cut someone" discounts.
0 notes