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Krizalid: I can't tell if you're a genius or just unbelievably arrogant.

Igniz: On a good day, I'm both.

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Kyo: If you want my advice-

Shingo: No offense sir, but you’re the last person I want relationship advice from. You tried to kill your significant other. Multiple times.

Kyo: First off, that was before we started dating. Secondly, they’ve also tried to kill me.

Iori: It’s true. It was mutually attempted murder.

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*Nests group chat*

Krizalid: Hey everyone

Krizalid: I’m ace and I might be gay.

Ron: well obviously

Original Zero: No need, Ron. Thank you for telling us this Krizalid

Igniz: I just nuked the entirety of southtown

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Iori: It’s illegal to just come into my house without a warrant!

Mature: And it’s illegal for my eyes to view this place you call a house! Like hell, you couldn’t attempt to match the rug with the curtains and get a decent accent chair, you tasteless-ass bastard!

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Iori: Can I curl up on your chest like a kitty cat or do you hate me

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Iori: I cannot even pretend to be normal about the level of intimacy I am craving right now

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Iori: When I say “I’ll figure it out”, I mean I’ll just adapt to whatever new level of hell is coming.

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Iori: Some folks gets sad when it gets cold, seasonal depression

Iori: I get mad when it gets hot, seasonal aggression

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[Texting]

Yuki: You alone?

Kyo: Yeah wassup

Yuki: Well I'm in the shower, wanna help me out❤️

Kyo: This yo first time showering?

Yuki: *is typing*

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Benimaru: "The dildo of consequences rarely arrives lubed" might be my favourite saying of the week.

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[Texting]

Benimaru: Heyooo

Shen Woo: Hey Beni I hate to tell you but you owe me a drink and a jaw because I dropped both when I saw you

Benimaru: Fuck that was smooth

Benimaru: Do you have any other winning pick up lines

Shen Woo: Well my personal favoorite is "Hey girl are you from Mississipi cuz you're the only miss who's piss I'd sippy"

Shen Woo: But I tend to stay away from that one for obvious reasons

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[On Twitter]

Shen Woo: jacked off with a completely empty mind while staring at a lemon

Benimaru: I recite this post out loud to my friends and they always laugh because of your incredible mind

Shen Woo: not sure what you think the “joke” is

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Benimaru: Pantone cornflower blue is the ugliest colour. Fuck you you dusty-ass blue pastel bitch.

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Kyo, singing: rah rah rasputin something something sour cream

Terry, slightly stoned: He was a cat that smoked a whole bong

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[On Twitter]

Iori: Went to the store with my bandmates and said "I want the bisexual candle", and they looked at me and went "You have enough bisexual stuff already, how about getting a girlfriend or boyfriend for once, that's pretty bisexual to us"

Iori: During pride month??? GUYS???

Iori: CAN YOU GUYS STOP RETWEETING MY WORST MOMENT EVER /lh

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Kyo: I usually don't think before I speak, I like to be just as surprised as everyone else.

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[On Twitter]

Kyo: Remember when we used to think Aladdin was Mexican? 🤣

Iori: So when they sang, "Arabian nightsssssss" it didn't click?

Kyo: The night was Arabian, not him. I done had some California nights but I'm from Japan.