incorrectdallasstars - Tumblr blog

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Jamie Benn: this is the worst day ever

Jason Dickinson: why, because we lost the Stanley Cup finals?

Jamie Benn: no, because it's a little humid -- YES, because we lost the Stanley Cup finals!!!

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[after beating the Vegas Golden Knights]

Jamie Benn: it's over. we won. we are the 2020 Stanley Cup champions.

Joe Pavelski: ... what about finals against the Tampa Bay Li-

Jamie Benn: no. we won. i'm not acknowledging it. we won.

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Steven Stamkos: [about his teammates] All of the boys' snacks are organic.

Jamie Benn: That's cool. I've watched my teammates eat candy off the floor.

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turns out the Seattle Kraken are real, and they CAN hurt me

me: *preemptively panicking about who Seattle is going to steal from my team because i love all 20+ of these men and if i lose even one of them i am Going to Die*

my friend: the seattle kraken aren't real, they can't hurt you

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Tyler Seguin: Isn’t it funny how everyone is like background characters in other people’s stories? Except for me of course because I’m sexy and important but like, all of you guys.

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Jordie Benn: Next question. You’re into Seggy.

Jamie Benn: That’s... not a question.

Jordie Benn: So you agree it’s a fact.

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Jason Dickinson: What's your favourite colour?

Tyler Seguin: Jamie Benn.

Tyler Seguin: Wait, what was the question again?

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@VGK fans pls stop bullying me 

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me: *preemptively panicking about who Seattle is going to steal from my team because i love all 20+ of these men and if i lose even one of them i am Going to Die*

my friend: the seattle kraken aren't real, they can't hurt you

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the ref: Bench minor penalty -- Too Many Men on the Ice.

my brain, Every Goddamn Time: t... too much man,,,

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Tyler Seguin :The cops came to my door and told me my dogs were chasing people on bikes. My dogs don’t even have bikes.

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Tyler Seguin: Did it hurt?

Jamie Benn: Yes.

Tyler Seguin: You didn’t even wait for the “when you fell from heaven” part

Jamie Benn: Everything hurts.

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Roope Hintz: Hey Seggy, I need relationship advice.

Tyler Seguin: Just because I'm dating Chubbs doesn't mean I know how I did it.

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2013 Jamie Benn: I need someone to be my friend… please send me an angel. The nicest angel you have.

*cut to*

2013 Tyler Seguin: *drunk crying while flying to Dallas before throwing up on himself*

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interviewer: what team are you most excited to see this season?

tyler seguin: what i’m most excited to see this season is jamie bennett lookin DUMB thicc.

interviewer:

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Riley Tufte: How messed up would it be if you jumped into a ball pit and it was just tomatoes painted different colors?

Miro Heiskanen, shrugging: Depends.

Riley Tufte:

Riley Tufte: ON WHAT?!

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Tyler Seguin: ‘Beware of dog’ they say. Of course I will be aware of the dog. I love dogs. I am aware of all dogs.