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Rufius: These so-called ‘feelings’ are ruining my reputation as a heartless bitch.

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Desius: The newcomer asked for a favour, and, in the spirit of goodwill, I agreed. Lucretia: What did you get out of it? Desius: Nothing. Lucretia: What did you get out of it apart from nothing? Desius: Money.

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Domitius: What if someone does something irksome and I decide to remove their spine? Horatius: That’s… that’s actually murder, one of the worst crimes of all. Also illegal.

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Georgius: Hey, I need to tell you something serious. Khabash: Wait, Georgius, if this is a secret, tell me later. Aurelia can definitely hear everything. Aurelia: No I can't. Khabash: Oh, good!

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Aurelia: As a public speaker of 15 years, the best advice I can give is to approach every business meeting with full intent to seduce.

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Desius: Have you ever wondered what’s inside a wasp’s nest? The Oracle: No, it’s fucking WASPS.

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The Hermit Philosopher: Friend, are you a philosopher? The Oracle: Hermit, I’m dumb as shit. The Hermit Philosopher: “Hermit, I’m dumb as shit” is just rephrased Socrates’s “I know that I know nothing” so what’s the truth?

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Galerius: I cut myself while cutting an onion. Couldn’t see what I was doing because I was tearing up. Lucretia: Sharp onion then? Galerius: No, sharp knife. Lucretia: I mean, you were tearing up because the onion was sharp, right? Galerius: No, I was tearing up because nature shares its bounty with us with this onion harvest and I just think that’s beautiful.

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Desius: What’s a little attempted murder between friends?

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Sentius: You might want to rethink this.

The Oracle: Buddy, I didn’t even think this the first time.

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Aurelia, to the Oracle: I need a BF.

Aurelia: Billion. Fucking denari.

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Sentius: Have you no faith in your leader?

The Oracle: None.

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Ulpius: So my partner-

Sentia: You have a partner?

Ulpius: I do, the whole time you’ve known me.

Sentia: Oh. I always thought you were feral.

Ulpius: Er, do you mean ‘single’?

Sentia: Whatever the word is that you use for stray cats.

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The Oracle, to Naveia: Healing comes in many forms.

The Oracle: But whatever the weird shit you’re doing is, it's not one of them.

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Horatius: You know, not every problem can be solved with an axe.

Domitius: That's why I carry two axes.

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Equitia: The universe has a plan for you.

The Oracle: It's not a good plan.

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The Oracle: I knew you wouldn't approve it, so I went over your head.

Sentius: I'm the leader.

The Oracle: Oh, that's right.

The Oracle: So I went behind your back.