inhereiamsafe

[inhereiamsafe]

birth month it is—

it’s crazy how much can change in a year. last months, i was trying to hold on to things not meant for me; people, promises, fantasies i made look prettier than they were. this june, i’m choosing me. not because i stopped caring, but because i finally learned not everyone deserves access to my heart.

i’ve been through hell quietly. the overthinking, the sleepless nights, the silent prayers at 2 AM, the ache of being misunderstood and replaced. but i’m still here. healing. walking away from what hurt me, even if my heart was still begging me to stay.

this june, i don’t want drama. i want peace. discipline. growth. i want to keep showing up for myself. i want to feel proud, not drained. i want to love without begging to be loved back.

i don’t expect perfection. i just hope that this month feels kinder. that the weight gets lighter. that the people around me match my energy or leave.

so here’s to june: be gentle. be transformative. and please, bring the kind of change i’ve been working hard for.

[inhereiamsafe]

note to self: stop romanticizing betrayal.

You saw that cheating scandal online? Yeah. Painful. But eye-opening. Because the truth is, you saw yourself in that. Maybe not the same story, but the same pattern: a woman who gave her all, who trusted, who believed, who stayed and a man who threw it all away like it was nothing.

So here’s your wake-up call.

He’s not confused. He’s not “just going through something.” He’s not too busy, too broken, or too lost. He knows exactly what he’s doing and he’s doing it anyway. Stop trying to understand a betrayal that was never meant to be understood. It was meant to hurt, and it did.

So what now?

Walk the hell away.

Not slowly. Not half-heartedly. Not with one eye still watching his next move. Walk away like you finally remembered who the fck you are*.

He disrespected you once? Shame on him.

You let him keep doing it? Shame on YOU.

Don’t wait for an apology. Don’t wait for change. Don’t wait for him to realize your worth. Realize it YOURSELF. Today. Now. Before he turns you into someone you don’t even recognize.

You’re not crazy. You’re not overreacting. You’re not “too much.”

You’re just finally seeing the truth for what it is, and it’s ugly as hell.

So be colder. Be smarter. Be DONE.

Loyalty to someone who breaks you is not love. It’s self-abandonment.

Choose you. Every. Single. Time.

[inhereiamsafe]

stop chasing people who make you feel like you’re hard to love. stop shrinking yourself just to be “enough” for someone who never chose you in the first place. you’ve poured too much energy into proving your worth to people who couldn’t even see it.

now it’s time to choose you. time to protect your peace. time to build yourself back stronger, softer, wiser. focus on healing, on growing, on glowing the hell up.

this chapter is about you, and that’s more than enough.

[inhereiamsafe]

Lord please heal me.

[inhereiamsafe]

Sometimes, it feels like I’m caught in an endless cycle, fighting so hard to hold on, only to watch everything slip away. I’m tired of chasing connections that leave me empty, of feeling anxious over every unanswered message, of battling this constant fear of being left behind. I’ve poured so much of myself into people who barely see me, and now all that’s left is this hollow ache.

But maybe this is the breaking point I needed, the moment where I stop begging for someone else’s presence and start finding my own. I don’t want to be a prisoner of my attachment issues, my fears, or the lies I tell myself about my worth. I want healing, not another heartbreak.

If you’ve ever clawed your way out of this darkness, tell me how. If you’ve learned to let go without losing yourself, teach me. Right now, I’m just someone who’s tired of feeling so small in the lives of people who never made space for me.

I want to grow. I want to heal. I want to be enough for myself.

[inhereiamsafe]

January to April broke me in ways I didn’t expect. I tried. I gave. I held on. I hoped. But I ended up hurt, drained, and questioning my worth more times than I can count.

Some days felt like survival. Some nights I cried in silence, wondering when it would stop hurting. I overthought, I overgave, I overlooked red flags just to not lose people who didn’t care if they lost me.

But here I am. Still breathing. Still showing up. Still trying to heal even when it feels like no one sees how heavy it’s been.

This May, I just want peace. I want to feel light again. I want to choose me this time. Because if there’s one thing I’ve learned is that no one’s coming to save me but myself. And if I break down, I’ll be the one picking up the pieces. So I’m learning to be softer with myself, but also stronger for myself.

God, help me heal. Help me grow. Because I’m tired of being in survival mode. This month, I’m choosing to fight for my mind, my heart, and my future.

One day at a time. For me. With God. 🙏

the universe has a plan for you, even if you can't see it yet.

[inhereiamsafe]

me to me: you’ll be okay. maybe not today, maybe not tomorrow. but every day you wake up and choose not to go back to him—you’re choosing you.

he was selfish. emotionally distant. made you question your worth. made love feel like something you had to fight for just to barely receive.

but you walked away. and that’s not weakness. that’s holy strength.

God saw every tear. heard every “why wasn’t I enough?” and He’s not done with you yet. He will heal you in places that man damaged without a second thought.

so rest. cry if you need. but don’t go back.

you are not what he made you feel.

you are light.

you are love.

you are healing.

[inhereiamsafe]

I held on for too long. Hoping he’d change. Hoping he’d see my worth. But all he did was show me how little I actually meant. Years of loyalty, of love, of effort, all thrown away like it was nothing. He chose lust. He chose games. He chose everything I’m not. And I finally get it now. He was never mine to begin with.

So this is me… letting go. Not out of weakness, but strength. Because I’m done breaking my own heart just to keep someone who never cared enough not to hurt me.

God, I release it all to You. Every memory, every question, every piece of pain that’s still clinging to my chest. Guide me through this. Help me heal without needing closure. Help me forgive myself for staying too long. Help me rebuild what he tried to tear down in me.

I’m not waiting anymore. Not hoping. Not holding on. I’m walking away for good. With my head high, my heart guarded, and my peace intact. Lead me forward, Lord — to better, to healing, to me.

Amen.

[inhereiamsafe]

My usual 2am thoughts*

i just finished work, and like always, i’m left in this weird silence that hits different at this hour. everyone’s asleep. the world feels paused. and here i am; awake, wired, overthinking again. i hate how this has become my routine. wake up, work, survive, pretend i’m fine, then crumble quietly when no one’s looking.

sometimes i wish i had someone to talk to right after my shift ends. not even for deep convos, just someone who cares enough to ask how my day went. someone consistent. someone who sees me. but the truth is, most days i just feel invisible. like i’m doing life on hard mode while everyone else has co-op unlocked.

i carry everything alone. i handle work. i take care of myself. i sit with my thoughts. i even take the trash out like clockwork every tuesday morning. no one claps. no one sees it. but i still do it. because who else will?

it’s exhausting, not just physically, but emotionally. and what makes it worse is the waiting, waiting for someone to remember me, to choose me, to show up without being asked.

but here’s the thing: even in this mess of loneliness and longing, i still believe i’ll be okay. maybe not tonight. maybe not tomorrow. but one day. one day i’ll wake up and the weight will feel lighter. one day the silence won’t feel like punishment. one day someone will match my energy, my loyalty, my love.

and until then? i’ll keep moving. for me. not for the ones who forgot. not for the ones who gave up. but for the version of me that deserves peace. and god, i hope that version shows up soon.

[inhereiamsafe]

It’s wild how much can change in just one day. Yesterday, I felt like I was finally doing okay. I even posted about it, trying to hold on to that small sense of peace I had. But today? I relapsed. Everything came crashing down again and I ended up ruining my own day. It’s just so frustrating, how healing isn’t a straight line, how one moment you’re fine and the next you’re spiraling all over again.

I don’t know what tomorrow holds, but I’m hoping I can start putting myself back together. Little by little. Or whenever I’m strong enough again.

Lord, it’s Holy Week. Please guide me through this. I’m tired, but I still want to keep going. 😢🙏

[inhereiamsafe]

i don’t usually talk about myself like this, but let me just say this out loud tonight, i’m proud of me.

not because everything’s perfect. not because i have everything figured out. but because slowly, inch by inch, i’ve been choosing myself. and that means everything.

i used to beg for people to stay.

i used to shrink myself just to be loved.

i used to think if i just gave more, loved harder, proved my worth, then maybe they’d choose me back.

but not anymore.

somewhere along the way, i got tired of betraying myself for people who never saw my value. i got tired of chasing people who were comfortable watching me break just to keep them close.

so now, i walk away from anything that makes me beg.

even if it hurts.

even if it’s lonely.

even if my voice shakes and my chest feels empty after.

because choosing myself is no longer optional, it’s survival.

and yeah, i’m on this weight loss journey too.

it’s hard as hell. no sugarcoating it.

some mornings my body feels heavy, my motivation is nowhere to be found, and the scale doesn’t move. but you know what? i’m still showing up. i’m still doing the work. and that makes me a f*cking fighter.

people don’t see the silent battles. they don’t see the emotional eating i’ve had to unlearn, the cravings i’ve had to resist, the nights i’ve cried because the weight isn’t just physical, it’s emotional, it’s years of self-hate packed into my skin. and i’m unpacking it. slowly. painfully. but i am.

so maybe i’m not where i wanna be yet.

maybe i still have a long way to go.

but the fact that i’m here, that i’m not giving up on myself anymore, that i can look in the mirror and say, “i got you,” to the girl staring back;

that’s everything.

this season of my life is about me.

not being chosen, but choosing.

not chasing, but aligning.

not pleasing, but healing.

and that is the most beautiful thing i’ve ever done for myself.

[inhereiamsafe]

Let it end. Don't force the connection.

[inhereiamsafe]

Go where you’re wanted and cherished, not just tolerated. This applies to every area of your life: relationships, jobs, environments. Our energy is like currency. If we keep investing it in things that give nothing back, we end up drained. But when we pour into what pours back, we grow. You can only try to force alignment for so long before it starts costing you more than it’s worth.

You might not be valuable in everyone’s eyes, but to the right people, you’re exactly the blessing they’ve been praying for. That doesn’t mean settling or forcing yourself into spaces you don’t like; it means opening yourself up to new ones you didn’t know you’d love, and that love you right back.

[inhereiamsafe]

“Two things to remember in life: Take care of your thoughts when you are alone, and take care of your words when you are with people.”

— Zig Ziglar

[inhereiamsafe]

[inhereiamsafe]

“Don’t kill flowers growing inside of you for someone who doesn’t appreciate the way you bloom.”

— Billy Chapata

[inhereiamsafe]