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[inkdowt]

I don’t like this one as much ;-;

[inkdowt]

Some scrap bookey art I made

[inkdowt]

𝙰 𝚆𝚊𝚢 𝙾𝚞𝚝 - 𝙿𝚊𝚛𝚝 𝟷

Genre: Angst

Summary: I suck at summaries so sorry. This is a Carlisle x Reader (Platonic)

TW: abuse, description of injury, suicidal themes, angst, depression

Word Count: 1,567

Authors Note: I'm sorry if this is trash, this is literally the first fan fic I've ever written.

-𝚂𝚝𝚊𝚛𝚝-

You had been going to Forks Highschool ever since you had to move there with your father. You refused to call him by dad. He wasn’t even close to a deserving man of such a title.

School had been rough. This other new kid Bella had all of the attention stuck on her that you went on unnoticed besides the occasional glare and snicker from a group of girls who seemed to be the cliche mean girls. You wouldn’t let it bother you though, you never did. 

One day something was different though, you felt like someone was always watching you. More than usual. You pushed it off as paranoia getting the better of you, hoping you were right. 

That same day you were walking home down the road and you felt like someone was still watching you. No, something more. You felt like you were being followed. Starting to realize that it probably wasn’t just paranoia you picked up your pace. Clenching the straps of your book bag tight, your thoughts start to wander to where the feeling might be originating from, starting to slightly stress you out. 

Then they stopped. 

Everything stopped. The feeling of being followed and watched, your paranoid thoughts, it seemed like even time itself slowed down.

You heard someone behind you and before you knew it you felt something forcefully hit your head. Soon followed pain in the side of your head.

Within seconds everything went black. 

.

.

.

You slowly awoke to the sight of three girls who you recognized as those cliche mean girls. 

You took a quick look around, you were in a forest, a familiar one.You tried to move but your arms were tied behind your back. 

“What the hell?! Where am I you psychos?!”

You were scared as to what they had intended for you.

Then one of the girls spoke.

“Shut up will you! We’re just gonna have a little fun with you. Now hold still.”

She spoke with a venomous voice followed by a sadistic smirk that sent shivers down your spine.

One of the other girls had a gun and made sure to show you it so you knew not to try anything. The first girl who spoke then cut the rope binding your wrists. Just as you were about to rub your wrist from the pain of the ropes, the girl stomped down onto your wrist and you felt a crack. You were sure she just broke your wrist but at this point it didn’t matter, all that mattered was getting out of this hell of a situation. You tried to formulate a plan but you didn’t have enough time before she grabbed your shirt and pulled you up holding a knife to your cheek. She pressed the cold blade against your skin followed by a sharp pain. You knew she wouldn’t stop but you were scared as to how far she would go. The rest of the dreadful experience consisted of many bruises and lots of blood. 

Once you thought it was over they left you for dead.

Lying in the middle of the woods the sound of your desperate cries for help filled your ears. You were hoping for someone to hear, anyone at all, you weren’t ready to give up just yet. The will to live alone wasn’t enough for you to hold on, it was near impossible, and with that…

…you felt your conscience fade. 

.

.

.

You awoke in a room you didn’t recognize which scared you somewhat. You decided to get up to try and figure out where you were but when you tried to stand up not realizing that your leg was injured, you fell to the ground with a loud thump. Before you knew it someone knocked on the door lightly followed by a soft spoken, “May I come in, it sounded like something fell.” 

You panicked because you felt vulnerable but hearing how this man spoke made you feel more comfortable so replied to him “uh- yeah, sure..” The man opened the door to you on the ground trying to get up, he noticed your struggle with standing and helped you to sit back onto where you were once laying. You asked him who he was and what had happened and he told you his name was Carlisle Cullen and that he found you in the woods unconscious. He said you’d been out cold for two days straight. You thought it was all a dream so when he said he found you in the woods.

“I have to go home, my father will be worried.” You lied to Carlisle about your father. You knew your father wouldn’t even notice your injuries but you still were adamant about getting home.

Carlisle agreed with you going home and offered to take you which you accepted.

.

.

.

Carlisle drove you about 8 miles down the road after making sure your injuries were still fine. 

He offered to tell your father about your injuries but you insisted that he just drop you off where you were. 

“I’ll walk the rest of the way.”

He hesitated then agreed to your request, pulling over on the side of the road. Before he let you go he handed you a piece of paper with his name and phone number on it. 

“In case of an emergency, don’t hesitate to call.” He said with a sincere voice followed by a slight smile.

“Thank you, for everything.” 

You smiled back at him before getting out of the car. You started slightly limping your way to where you reside which wasn’t that far away.

When you walked onto the porch of your residency you came to a halt at the front door. You took a deep breath before walking through the door quietly hoping your father wouldn’t hear and with your luck, he heard the door. He marched into the foyer grabbing your wrist violently that was already broken. He yelled loudly at you as you winced in pain.

“Where the hell were you?!”

With a quiver in your voice you said “I was with a friend.”

He just continued to yell at you. He struck your face with his fist and you felt the stitches on your face reopen. He let go of your wrist passive aggressively as he told you to go upstairs.

“Go clean your face up so you don’t stain the floors you brat.”

You did as he said, re-stitching your face as you were used to tending to yourself often. You almost never went outside anymore, skipping school afraid of what those girls would do to you if they saw you alive. 

Though you still had to get groceries and other basic items from the store. You covered up your injuries with a long sleeve shirt and a jacket but the stitches on your face were always visible. 

One day when you were walking home from getting groceries you spotted a familiar car parked in a parking lot. It took you a second but you soon realized that it was Carlisle. You just kept walking trying to go unnoticed but he spotted you anyway. He quickly got out of the car sending a quick greeting your way.

“Hey, y/n. It’s me, Carlisle.”

You stopped and turned around speaking softly, forcing a fake smile.

“Oh, um…Hey.” 

“I saw you and just wanted to know how you were doing. Also how are your injuries holding up?”

“Oh um, I’m doing fine. My face is doing better.”

You thought to yourself for a second knowing you lied to him so he wouldn’t worry. It wouldn’t matter anyway, everything was going to end tomorrow so what was the point in saying the truth? 

Then he spoke which broke your train of thought. 

“Well that’s great to hear.” 

He still spoke with a pleasing tone.

“Yeah..well, I gotta go. Don’t want dinner to be late.”

You said jokingly allowing a slight awkward laugh to escape your mouth.

Then he responded again,

“Alright, well don’t forget to call me if you need anything. Okay?”

You agreed and the two of you parted ways.

.

.

.

You had been forming your plan to end your suffering for weeks now and you were finally ready to execute it. You headed to the forest next to your house which happened to be the same one the bullies took you to. You didn’t want any distractions. You wanted to be at peace. So you took nothing with you except a knife residing in your right hand. Your phone, keys, wallet, everything, it was all left at your residence. To you there was no need for it anymore. 

After walking a while into the woods, sure that no one would find you, you looked down at the knife in your hand thinking over your decision one last time.

Then you spoke out into the woods four soft broken words…

“It’s better for everyone.”

Before you knew it you forced the cold blade into your chest. The pain only lasted for a few seconds then it was masked by every possible other emotion that flooded your mind. All in the order of sadness, grief, anger, frustration, acceptance, relief, contentment…and for once, a small glimmer of joy. And with that a genuine smile crept into your face. Who would have thought that letting go of life would be the cause of your last genuine smile. You closed your eyes and fell back onto the bed of nature, the only thing that’s ever been fair to you. 

You felt at peace.

The trees that shaded you from the hot sun always welcomed you. 

The flowers that fought many challenges to stand tall in the sun always welcomed you. 

The air that filled your lungs with hope always welcomed you. 

The rain that’s comforted those sad lonesome nights always welcomed you.

The dirt that cushioned your every step till the very end… it always welcomed you.

.

.

.

You thought that they’d all let you go just as easily…

You thought you had finally found a way out.

You thought that they’d let you have your way.

But they had other plans for you today.

𝚃𝚘 𝚋𝚎 𝚌𝚘𝚗𝚝𝚒𝚗𝚞𝚎𝚍…

Authors Note (again lol): I'm sorry if this is cringe or trash. If you have any recommendations to make it better or advice I will gladly accept. Anyway, I hope you did somewhat enjoy this!

Edit: I went through and fixed a few things so I hope you still like it. I will not update very often just because I am taking my time to make it really good and I also have some personal stuff to deal with sadly. Anyways, I hope you understand.

And of course, have a great day/night lovlies!

-InkDowt