insomniacsirens

[insomniacsirens]

It gets easier eventually

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Day 4

Hard conversations are still important conversations.

I am allowed to hold space in someone’s life

I am allowed to be upset

Morning:

Today has been the hardest day I’ve had in awhile. I had trouble sleeping last night because I know I need to reach out for a conversation. I spent most of last night writing a script or letting with everything I had left to say. I will most likely spend the day writing and rewriting the same letter, trying to convince myself not to reach out. Not to this person. But I know eventually it needs to happen.

Pushing that away from my active mind will be hard, but I have more important things I need to do at the moment; I’ve been helping my friend with some tasks at their campsite. They need me today. I like to be needed. I won’t be going until after lunch though.

Midday:

Around 12 I left to hang out with my friend, I brought them some water and then we took the dogs for a long walk. It was a really nice day actually, sunny and warm but not too hot. Just that perfect in between. After we walked the dogs I hung out, but sadly I am a very busy person and had to leave sooner rather than later, because my other friend was stopping by the bring me an electric scooter

Afternoon:

In the afternoon after my other friend left, I met with another friend. Someone I needed to converse with at this point in my healing phase. Someone I have missed every day since I started. The conversation went great, and we ended up hanging out afterwards. It was really sweet actually; you never realize how much you miss someone until you come back after being gone so long.

Night:

Winding down was great. I took a shower, and found out I got really sunburnt from being outside pretty much all day. Which I personally think is a small price to pay for having a good day. I took my regular CBD and watched a few episodes of my favourite anime. And I talked to my other friend. Tomorrow I will start addressing my friends as letters for some clarity.

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Day 3

I am important

I am not a bad person for having trauma

I am not a bad person for needing space

Morning:

This morning I woke up at 6, but when back to sleep until 9AM. It is sunny and warm. After completing my morning routine I sat outside and journaled for a bit, not a huge entry but an entry. I’m trying to get into doing them more often. I find it helps with my mental health. After I finished journaling, I caught up on some laundry. I’ve been doing more laundry recently, I’m trying to get caught up and I feel like I’m making a good dent in it finally. After I finished all of that I messaged my friend to see if they wanted to go for a walk around town, maybe find some new places for me to hike to in the future. I’ve been enjoying getting around town; since I just moved here and I need to learn the roads

Midday:

I hung out with my friend for most of the afternoon, we went for a massive walk. I saw someone I wasn’t expecting to see, I don’t know how I feel about that but it’s okay. I have time to sort out how I’m feeling. After we were done walking we came home and played Mario Kart for a few hours.

Afternoon:

One of my other friends showed up a little while later, they brought me a plant. It’s a beautiful light orange hibiscus flower. I’m so excited for my endeavour of taking care of a new plant. Although I worry I may kill it in the process, despite me loving this plant. I got dinner with the first friend, and they left a few hours later after me and the 2 friends went on a walk. Also I did a massive tarot reading today, about everything.

Night:

My friends partner showed up, the 3 of us talked for a bit and then all of my friends were gone and I could decompress from the day. It was a very busy day, I like being busy these days, I like to remind myself; I am not a bad person for needing space. Space it’s important for healing. And after everything today, I am going to go to sleep. I need it.

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Day 3

I am not a horrible person

Everyone makes mistakes

It’s not the end of the world

Morning:

I woke up at 8AM, the weather today was a mix of sun and cloud. I left around 10AM to run some errands in a nearby town. My sleep was okay, but kind of restless.

Midday:

I went for lunch at a restaurant (it’s one of my favourites) and texted with one of my friends, although I’m making a conscious effort to disconnect from social media to help me feel less depressed and more of an effort to hang out in nature, plus I want to tan. I purchased a self help book, called Fuck It. So far it seems like a bunch of lessons is letting go, and learning to let go. I think it’s something I need right now. Currently I am sitting in the library, enjoying some time in public. My anxiety levels are the lowest they’ve been in a few days.

Afternoon:

After a few hours of hanging out at the library, listening to music and texting with friends (and reading) I finally came home. When I got home I started some laundry, and finished watching Twilight. I also started writing a song again, it’s been awhile since I’ve done anything artistic. I also lit some incense (pine scented)

Night:

I think the rest of my night is going to be very chill, mostly me watching Twilight and Adventure time. I’ve been told there’s a “Strawberry Moon” outside tonight, so I’ll probably go check that out. I need that in my life right now, especially since it’s supposed to be clear and I live on the coast, while I’m there I’ll repeat my daily affirmations: I am not a horrible person, everyone makes mistakes, it’s not the end of the world. I’ll also take the moment to remind myself that although it sucks right now, it will eventually get easier, and I will get better

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Day 2

I am allowed to hold space

I am important

My time is important

Morning:

I woke up at 7AM this morning, the weather this morning was cloudy/rainy but warm. Last night was the first night I didn’t have to take CBD to assist in sleeping, but I didn’t dream I just slept. I watched some cartoons (Adventure Time) I’ve been focusing on less stimulating TV shows recently, and stuff that’s older from my childhood. I cancelled some plans that were made in advance, and recited some daily affirmations (written above the gif) also I did some laundry, I’m finally making a dent in the months of dirty laundry I’ve created.

Midday:

Lunch time is when the action of my day really starts. I’m not entirely a morning person. I caught up on some laundry, and spoke briefly to someone who isn’t close to me about my stress levels. One of my friends said they might stop by. I remind myself often that healing isn’t about doing stuff with other people, but by doing stuff by myself. I wrote in my diary for a bit while waiting for my friend, who is confirmed coming over. Today has been peaceful so far despite everything. I met up with my friend, we had a conversation. It was nice. I often forget how nice it is to have conversations with someone who actually wants you around. We went to the beach and visited some local parks

Afternoon:

As the afternoon sets in, I find that my day comes to a close. I’ll make an early dinner and meditate, maybe do some tarot cards. I’ll sit outside, and I’ll go to the beach again. Sometimes when I feel really adventurous I go out to the beach at night and listen to the water. Also the sun came out today, which was nice considering that it was so cloudy and rainy this morning.

Night:

I spent some time reading outside, I watched the clouds roll back in. I’ve been told I’m having a guest tonight at my house, I don’t know how I feel about that. The rest of my night will be boring, filled with watching cartoons until I grow tired and fall asleep. I remind myself that; I am important, that I am allowed to hold space, and that my time it’s important. These thoughts and daily affirmations are important during my healing journey

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Day 1:

I’ve decided to use this page for something helpful for once, and I’m gonna track my healing journey on here.

Day 1 was okay, off the basis that I started a few days ago. I hung out with friends and got some new items, I got some new art. I made a new friend. The weather is nice. Life is nice.

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🖤🤍would it be easier to turn away, from all the things we’ve made, too afraid and I can’t take it, and down the road I know I’ll miss your face, and all the things we made, too afraid and I can’t fake it 🖤🤍

Miss Your Face- Too Close Too Touch

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Mayday Parade - Piece Of Your Heart

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and with your help it can rack up 700k notes on tumblr in 2024

no tumblr this doesnt need tags im releasing it into the wild as god intended

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Off the coast of Australia Macroctopus caught the shark, wrapped all its tentacles around it and soon released it. Most likely, he scraped all the parasites off her.

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🩷💜I’m terrified from what I try to hide in front of me my lies can’t save me anymore it’s paralyzing to know where your demons hiding💜🩷

I don’t know how I feel about this one, but I do like the purple pink theme that I picked for it :)

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🤍Just because your sitting there next to me, doesn’t mean your really there mentally, actually I don’t believe your there at all🤍

I put my heart into this one, personally I feel like it looks really cool. I kinda wanna do Digital Numb after this

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I'm curious. Reblog this if you know how to cook

I don’t even care if it’s macaroni, ramen or those little bowls you stick in the microwave. Please, I need reassurance that most of the population on tumblr WOULDN’T STARVE TO DEATH if their parents couldn’t fix them food or they couldn’t go out to eat.