its-a-me-loki

[its-a-me-loki]

𝒯𝒶𝓀𝑒 𝒶 𝓁𝑜𝑜𝓀 𝒾𝓃 𝓉𝒽𝑒 𝓂𝒾𝓇𝓇𝑜𝓇

Random agent (to y/n): Fix this hair cause it’s horrible.

y/n: And why don’t you fix your hair?

Random agent: Well-

Loki: And fix your face.

Random agent: Wait-

y/n: And your body.

Random agent: Um-

Loki: And everything else.

Random agent: :(

[its-a-me-loki]

𝐵𝒾𝓈𝑒𝓍𝓊𝒶𝓁 𝒷𝒾𝓇𝓉𝒽𝒹𝒶𝓎

y/n: Goddamn it, the printer broke while printing out Loki's birthday invitations.

Thor: Well, what are they supposed to say?

y/n: "Loki's birthday".

Thor: So, what do they say instead?

y/n: "Loki's bi". 

Thor:

Thor: Works out either way.

y/n: True.

[its-a-me-loki]

𝐻𝑒𝓁𝓁𝑜 𝑔𝑜𝑜𝒹 𝓁𝑜𝑜𝓀𝒾𝓃'

Loki: You know you've made it when you see your picture everywhere you go. 

y/n: Those are wanted posters!

*bouns*

Loki: And damn do I look good.

y/n: (facepalms)

[its-a-me-loki]

𝑅𝑜𝒶𝒹𝓉𝓇𝒾𝓅

Loki: I’m going to hel.

y/n: Probably. 

Loki: I'll pick you up?

y/n: *nodding* Carpool.

*bonus*

Loki: I'll bring the snacks.

y/n: I'll eat them.

[its-a-me-loki]

𝒟𝒾𝒹𝓃'𝓉 𝓈𝓅𝑒𝒸𝒾𝒻𝓎

Loki: I failed my safety training course today. 

y/n: Why, what happened? 

Loki: Well one of the questions was "In case of a fire, what steps would you take?" 

y/n: And? 

Loki: Well apparently "FUCKING LARGE ONES" isn't an acceptable answer.

*bonus*

y/n: Fast ones or slow ones?

Loki: I didn't specify.

y/n: That's probably why then.

Tony: Idiots.