itsemerysworld
#mylifeasemily
Just a young lady from the city of Fame and Fortune who's trying to keep peace with her mind and passion with her heart.
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G r a c e
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Riddle me not
Life comes and goes
And rolls and stops
It stings and it burns
It teaches a lesson
It happens everyday
Whether you know it or not
Life comes and goes
It gets better
And it gets worse
It comes and goes
This thing called life
Your chapter starts
Your section ends
It comes and goes
People
Things
Animals
Family
Friends
They come
And they go
They stay a while
Whether for a reason
A season
Or a lesson
Life is fragile
Like grandmas glass ornament with the flower inside
Life is fragile
Like a dried up fall leaf that will shatter when you step on it
Life is beautiful
Like the sunset we love to watch
Life is beautiful
Like bright colors on a mural
It’s beautiful
Like the sun shining through colored glass
Life is complicated
Like a math problem
Or a theory
Life is here
Life is behind your eyes
In your eyes
Through your eyes
Life is in your veins
In your heart
Your foot steps
Nestled between your fingers
Life is careful
Try not to break it
Time flies
Like a eagle over the desert
Time flies
Like the obnoxious fly on the wall you can’t get rid of
Time stops
It pauses
Takes a breath
It goes outside for a walk
Life
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I should be doing homework
I should be writing on a piece of paper
I should be engaging in mind strengthening activities
I should be working towards my future
Which, don’t get me wrong, I am
I’m working
Everyday
Every waking moment
And even during my snooze fests
But who doesn’t like snooze fests
I’m thinking about this last weekend
The last year minus some weeks
Life has changed
For the better
Or even for the best
I’ve grown as a person
Intellectually
Spiritually
Emotionally
And unfortunately physically
Just look at it as more to love
And more to squeeze in skinny jeans
I’ve gained another trip around the sun
29 trips so far
29 long ass trips
But this last trip has been the best
And I’m sure this trip until my 30th will be better
I gained a degree
I misplaced a few things
I swiped right on an app
And avoided weird people
I hit the door
But fell on the floor
I saw his eyes
And I’m sheilding mine
But I won’t hide them
They’re covered
I’m covered
He’s loved
I’m loved
He’s the love
I’m the love
He’s one
And I’m the other
I found him
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Its been a while since I’ve written
Its been a while since I opened this app
And decided to write
Its been a while
Almost a year, but just a few weeks short
A lot has happened
In the last year minus some days
I’ve moved
I’ve graduated
I’ve dyed my hair
My cat, Moe still annoys me
I get along with my brother better now
My parents still trek the world endlessly
And without borders
My grandparents are still going
At 103& 105
But who knows for how long
I left the Westside and moved to the Valley
Absolute different world as I would say
Also, its hot as fuck over here
I live in a two bedroom two bathroom apartment
I have tandem parking
But only my car fits
The building is old
But the air-condition is a life saver
Its probably a hundred degrees outside
But I wouldn’t know
I’m snuggled under blankets with the AC on
My cat, Moe, is with me
He’s sleeping
Doing a thing that I’d like to do
But I’ll do that later
Its September
I think the 5th
I’m not sure
4 months left in 2019
And then here comes 2020
Perfect vision
Just perfect
A lot has happened in the last year
Minus some weeks
I got my Bachelors in Psychology
So I can sit and judge people
(Just kidding)
I bought a piano
But I don’t practice
I can write
But I never do
I fell in love
And I know that he's it
#writer#relatable#relationship#creative#aspiring#aspiringwriter#hopelesswriter#hopefulwriter#hopeful#tag
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Inspiration is an odd thing
It’s the kind of thing you don’t expect
But you also don’t expect to expect it because it just happens
Inspiration is a bitch
Inspiration
It doesn’t always come when you want it
And it definitely doesn’t come when you need it
Inspiration
What a weird thing
It’s a voice in your head
In your mind
It’s a sudden jolt of adrenaline
It’s a feeling of wanting to do something
Needing to do something
Craving to do something
Fulfilling a craving need to do something
Inspiration comes in random
Random times
Random places
During random activities
Inspiration
It’s there
It’s a light switch
It’s the light bulb over your head like in the cartoons
It flickers some days
And other days the power is out
Inspiration
Motivation
Intriguing
Itching
Pulling
An “Ah-Ha!” moment
Inspiration
A spirit
A movement
A soothing comfort
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Inevit
Stress is inevitable
Stress is the hand that's knocking on your door
Loudly
Consistently
All hours of the day
Every minute of the night
Stress is inevitable
It's around the corner
It's in your sock drawer
It's the first thing you feel when you wake up
It's the last thing that tucks you into bed at night
Stress is inevitable
It's your worst enemy
But what if I said it was your best friend
Your compadre
Your ride or die
Your pillow at night when you sleep
It wakes you up in the morning
Like an alarm clock at 6am
Like your neighbors lawn mower being turned on at 9am on a Saturday
Stress can be your friend
Your best friend
Your favorite aunt
Your annoying uncle
Stress can be a good thing
Stress is a good thing
Stress is in our blood
Our hearts
Our mind
It tickles our blood vessels
And races our hearts
Stress is a good thing
It's a feelingA sensation
A movement
Stress is a foundation
A building block
A tiny aspect
A little thing
A giant thing
Stress is here
Stress is there
Stress is within you
Me
Your parents
Your teacher
Stress isn't shameful
Stress is beautifulIt's just a sign that you're just a human
Stress is inevitable
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Cage
Being trapped is a feeling of tightness
It’s a feeling of being choked
Shrunk
Forced to a small space
It’s a feeling of no air
Light headed ness
It’s the feeling of the hair on your arms standing up
It’s the discomfort of what was once comfort
It’s the agony of screaming with no voice
The signature with no mark
It’s being cornered
Like a mouse
It’s being hunted
With no where to go
It’s walking along a tile floor waiting to step on a crack
A lego
Broken egg shells
It’s a feeling of abuse
Manipulation
Controlling
Intimidation
You did you
And I’ll do me
It’s my house with your footsteps
It’s my door knob with your finger prints
It’s my window with your cloud
It’s running with no where to go
It’s a game with no end
It’s a sick game
It’s a mental fuck
An emotional pull
It’s your vocal chords screaming but nothings coming out
It’s a new pattern
That’s old news
It’s a new abuse
But another type
It’s tiring
It’s dark
And it’s the last thing you ever want
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Wellbeing is defined as “the state of being comfortable, healthy, and happy.” Mental health is defined as “a persons condition with regard to their psychological and emotional well being.” Self esteem is defined as “confidence in one’s own worth or abilities; self reflect.” Your mind is either your best friend or your worst enemy. Your reflection is either someone that you adore or someone you despise. Your thoughts at night are either pleasant or depressing. Your emotions are either locked and protected or out and about. Your smile is either loud and genuine or quiet and forced. The shine in your eyes are either signs of happiness or a silent cry for help. Your hands are either out in the open or hiding behind your back. Your personality is either wild and free or quiet and vulnerable. Your body is either an honored temple or a dump site that’s been neglected. Mental health, a topic that’s quite shushed, is common. It’s an illness that you don’t see but you can hear about. It’s a persons worse battle with no one else but themselves. It’s a daily battle of good thoughts and bad thoughts. It’s wanting to get out of bed and accomplishing things but convincing yourself you won’t succeed. It’s promising your friends you’ll see them but you’re embarrassed and vulnerable. It’s knowing that your brain sometimes hates itself but you’re too afraid to admit it. It’s looking the mirror and being blind to the beauty that everyone else sees. It’s crawling into bed and obsessively reflecting on your flaws. It’s the anxiety of being in public. It’s the depression of feeling like a failure. It’s a mind game that you tell yourself you’re not good enough. Your mental health is vital and it is not always visual. Your body is your showcase. It shows the world who you are by a cover, and people don’t always turn the pages to understand why. This is three years apart. Three years of backs and forths. Three years of endless nights and meaningless days. Three years of deciding whether the person in the mirror was of worth or not. Three years of looking out the window and having my brain decide whether it was a day worth seeing outside or a day under the covers. Mental health is inconsistently consistent. It is a yes or no, a maybe or maybe not. It’s a genuine smile verse a forced. It’s your brain having pleasant thoughts verse damning ones. It is not perfect, it’s imperfect. It does not make you less of a human, but rather more heightened. It makes you understanding but not understandable. It’s not a shame, it’s not a curse. Society has made it a curse. A damn. Something embarrassing to have. Mental health isn’t embarrassing. It isn’t a shame, and you’re never alone. Your thoughts dictate your life, your motivation, your love and your wants. Brighter days come and darker days go. The world is shining bright and dimming low. Your thoughts dictate your body, your emotions, your wellbeing. Although it may not be consistently good or consistently bad. It IS consistently there and all it takes is how you handle it. You are worthy. You are important. You are of value and time. You are NOT alone You are a human And you shouldn’t be afraid to be one.
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De-press please
Depression
De-press-ion
De-presh-un
What a weird thing
What a scary thing
What a real disorder
Diss-order
Out-of-order
No order
What a weird thing
What a true thing
What a scary thing
What a gnarly thing
It’s true
It’s real
It’s a problem
It controls your mind
Your thoughts
Your dreams
Your senses
Your touch
(Lack thereof)
It increases
Blood flow
Heart pounding
Lessens
Logic
Reality
Your sense of belonging
Depression
Depression
What a dirty thing
One day it’s there
One day it’s gone
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Life has a way
Life always has a way
Life always has a fucking way
It has A way
Or multiple ways of teaching you lessons
Introducing you to new ones
And disregarding old ones
Life has a way of playing games
Controlling games
Gipping games
Taking games
Life has way of confusing you
Taunting you
Reminding you
Teaching you lessons
Any lessons you can think of
Life just drags
It pulls
It pushes
It shoves
It makes you smile and
It makes you cry
Life has a way of forcing changes
Whether you’re ready for it or not
Whether you’re expecting it or not
It pushes you to another dimension
For better or for worse
In my case better
But on the other end its worse
Imagine flipping your life
Imagine stopping your addiction
Stopping something that you’ve known for years
Every minute of every day
Whatever it may be
A drug
A food
A drink
A person
A place
A thought
A wish
Imagine whatever it may be
And imagine having it every waking day
Every hour that your eyes are closed
Every time that your job allows you to day dream
It’s there
Breathing
In your face
In your system
In your thoughts
Lacing between your fingers
Itching between your ears
It’s there
This addiction
Your life is all this is
It’s all you know
Imagine your drug
Being taken away
Imagine reading a book and having to shut the chapter
You can’t look back
You can’t ponder
You can’t let the cat out the bag
It’s closed
That book is closed
You can’t peak
You can’t whisper
You can’t put the needle to your skin
Or the drink in your shot glass
Imagine your world
That you knew
You’ve always known
Is suddenly not know-able
It’s dangerous
It’s filthy
It’s the reason why your world flipped
Imagine leaving that book
That drug
That shot glass
On a counter top
Or maybe even a night stand
Imagine knowing that it’s there
It’s in your face
But how dare you to touch it
Sip it
Dream it
Want it
It’s there
Imagine having to leave that book
Abandon it
Shut off curiosity about it
Forget wanting it
Needing it
Dreaming it
Imagine that needle
So tempting
And so comforting
But so painful
So damaging
But so addicting
Imagine the characters in your book
That you read with everyday
They were a part of the plot
But not a part of the addiction
Imagine the chapter being shut too
Imagine disconnecting from things you thought you had
And finding yourself with nothing following
No new followers
No new advice givers
No one
The needle is still there
Not within reach
But within a thought
Within a craving
Within a desire
It’s there
Watch your world
Watch your thoughts
Watch your hands when they reach for that shot glass
They’re shaking
Your heart is pulsing in your ear
It’s so bad
But it’s so good
It’s home
But it’s a bomb shelter
It’s that comfort pillow
That feels like a cactus
It’s that sleeping pill
That makes your mind race
Imagine your world
Forget that chapter
And any characters you knew until you closed the chapter
No peaking
No looking
No wondering
No backtracking
Imagine snapping your fingers and being somewhere new
Somewhere farther than you’ve ever been
Somewhere that resembles a tree house hidden in a forest
Imagine knowing you exist
But realizing that no one else notices
You’re alive
But no one’s there
You’re on a new path in life
But you don’t have support
Imagine a radar with a plane on it
Or a helicopter
Or a car
Like a police chase
Imagine tracking every single movement
and then suddenly
it’s gone
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Sunsets are cool
Perspectives are cool
The way the sky touches the ocean is cool
The way that the wind blows through the blinds is cool
The old lady walking her loyal dog in a high end neighborhood is cool
The way I’m sitting here on my balcony chair facing west is cool
The fact that life changes so quick can be cool
It can be scary
Inspiring
Intimidating
Motivating
Threatening
Life is like an arrow
Or maybe like a compass
You’re always going in different directions
Whether it’s north or south
Or up and down
It’s always going
Happening
Existing
Moving
Like the wind
Sometimes you see it
Sometimes you feel it
The sunset is cool
Calming
Refreshing
An ending
A pause
A reality
The sky turns colors
Or maybe it changes
It shifts
Contorts
Moves around
It evaporates
It’s in your face
It’s in a coloring book
The sunrise is cool
It’s bright
Loud
Awakening
Eye opening
Literally and figuratively
The dogs barking
Are real
Raspy
Sudden
Like the voice in the back of your head
The cat is afraid
Or maybe it’s trying to stand it’s ground
The dog is big
But the cat is bigger
The sunset is cool
But the sunrise starts a new day
A new view
A new look
A new touch
A new smell
A new dream
Sunsets are cool too
They end things
Your day
Your thought
Your goals for the day
But sitting is cool too
You’re motionless
But you feel so much
You’re in one physical place
But your mind is roaming freely
The sunset is cool
But it’s cooler when you’re sitting in a chair
And taking in what you see
Without worrying about a thing
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Bright skies
Cloudy skies
Dark skies
Dim skies
Big skies
Small skies
California skies
Arizona skies
Skies above home
Skies away from home
This sky
My sky
Your sky
The sky
The sun
The clouds
The dreams
The wishes
The wants
The changes
The comfort
The discomfort
The same sky
A different sky
Under the sky
Under the trees
Beneath the leafs
In a house
In your home
In your head
In your thoughts
Same thoughts
Different meanings
Same wishes
Different outcomes
Same month
Different years
Same love
Different needle
Same craving
Different reason
Some love
No weakness
Same words
Different meaning
Long poem
Short story
This world
Your world
Collision
Hard landing
Crash landing
An addict needle
An addict love
A victims mouth
A victims mind
A craving
An escape
An old box
A new box
Old grounds
New grounds
Comfort zone
No comfort zone
Rambling words
Continuing words
Changes
Upgrades
Downgrades
No good
Somewhat good
Amazingly good
Changes
Mirrors
Reflection
Recognize
Unrecognizable
You
Me
Old games
No games
Moving on
Forward
Proceeding
Dead ends
Done
Finish
Kapeesh
Images
Visions
Dreams
Hallucinations
A mary jane hit
A tequila shot
A burn of fire
A discomfort of coldness
Games
Abuse
Harassment
Mind games
Manipulative
You’re you
You’re you in my book
You’re you in your book
Shape
Disfigure
Break
Shatter
Tear down
Build up again
Start over
Perspective
Goals
Clean slate
White paper
Black ink
New pen
Bleeding new beginning
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uh-ba-use
uh-ba-use
uh-buu-se
abuse
its seen
and its not seen
its in your face
or its in your mind
sometimes its in your skin
on your skin
in your soul
on your soul
burning your soul
adjusting your soul
for all the wrong reason
its a needle
a drug needle
a deathly needle
an addicting needle
its there
its in reach
its poisonous
it tastes good
the after taste sucks
it feels enriching
its toxic
its a life
a style
a box
like for a cat
unfamiliar space but comfortable
its home
its a hiding spot
its an escape
imagine an escape
a place to run away too
a place outside of your box
a place where happiness and rainbows are
now imagine an escape
and an escape from that escape
imagine escaping from something you’ve already escaped from
a home
a hiding spot
a box
a box that your fat cat has sat in for so long that the edges are bending
imagine running
but coming back
imagine sprinting
but coming back
imagine finally pausing
you’re not running
you’re not sprinting
you’re escaping
but you’re still there
imagine the change
the pain
the discomfort
imagine your cats favorite box falling apart
the edges are worn
there are a few holes in it
some claw marks
some parts missing
remember when that box was new
solid
tough
strong edges
felt good
looked good
look at the box again
home isn't home anymore
the needle isn’t your pillow
the pain isn’t love
remember running
sprinting
remember that last hit
that last drag
the last time you get to sit in your little box home
it’s gone
their gone
he’s gone
she’s gone
it’s gone
that little box
is nothing now
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tu-thousand & 8teen
this is it
this is the year
the year of realness
the year that the caterpillar becomes a butterfly
the kind of butterfly that everyone stops to look at
this is the year
where creativity will be bled
it will seep through your veins and into your fingertips
it will evolve in your dreams
destroy your dreams
expand your dreams
this is the year
where you’ll look in the mirror
you’ll take a good look
not a half-ass look
(or a full ass look, if you have one)
this is the year
where everyones nagging will make sense
where your biggest fear will come true
this is the year
where true colors come
they’re sprayed
dropped
splattered
drenched
in your face
this is the year
with no doubt
no doubt you’ll succeed
no doubt you’ll get a coachella ticket
no doubt you’ll get over your biggest fear
no doubt that the person in the mirror is stronger than ever
no fucking doubt that the person you thought was saving you was hurting you
no doubt
no questions
no turn-around
no take-back
this is the year
that what i send is what i send
this is the year where i don’t use “lol” to end my sentence
if i’m nice, i’m nice
if i’m being a bitch, i’m being a bitch lol
this is the year
where sticks and stones
can’t break my bones
because i know i’m better than these bitches
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Life has a way of trying you
It has a way of testing you
Teasing you
Pulling you
Pushing you
Shoving you face first in the ground
And then pulling you back up
I'm a mere 27 years old
Young to some
Old to others
Life is a crisis
A challenge
A dance
A beautiful image
Life is what you make it
It is nothing more
Nor nothing less
Life is life
I'm a mere 27
Trying to find my way
Make my way
To somewhere
Some place
Some how
Some way
My head is talking
But my heart is screaming
My voice is speaking
My pen is yelling
My legs are running
But my feet are tip toeing
The sun is sleeping
Going for its nightly beauty rest
The sky is dark
The air is hot
My doors are locked
The windows open
Life is perspective
Visuals
Views
Images
It all depends how you look at it
#writer#freelance#creative#creativewriters#relatable#blogger#therapy#share#repost#social networking#networking#creative blogger
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long time comin’
Its been a while since I’ve posted anything
Its been a while since I’ve let my mind run free
Its more than half way through 2k17
(Trust me, I know I’m not good at math–but I’m good at this)
I’ve been re-reading
Re-living
Re-breathing
Re-tracking
My old mindset
Old trait of thought
Old feeling of staring off into space and not feeling a thing
I’m living now
Breathing
Thinking
Hoping
Scanning the ocean line for the last peak of the sun before it goes to bed for a few hours
2k17
Two thousand and butt fuck seventeen
(I’m not into that, you gross whore)
Life has changed
Evolved
Grown
Life isn’t so bad
Bad days aren’t so bad
Bad thoughts aren’t so bad
Unless you’re planning something sickening, than you need a shrink
I’ve seen dark days
Ugly days
Scary days
Your moms worst days
(No offense)
The sky gets dark
Your thoughts get cloudy
But sometimes you can’t have a rainbow
Without a little bit of fucking rain
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Emotion
Emotions are a way
A kind of fucked up feeling
Or maybe a super ...
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