itsfrlovers

[itsfrlovers]

one day, i am going to grow wings.

for now, i will fall with the wind when it comes to pick me up again.

or, maybe they have already been clipped by pushpins.

splintered collarbones dance atop skin.

[itsfrlovers]

i’m desperate for someone to hear me. to hear this.

is this thing even on?

[itsfrlovers]

is anyone out there?

i’m in the loudest place in the world and yet i hear radio silence.

[itsfrlovers]

am i still alive?

it has been 2,420 days since the last time i was seen alive.

all apologies, it must be so hard to talk to a corpse.

is it your first time living?

because the same time has been chosen as my last.

why would you ever be so foolish to want to live again?

oh, i guess god isn’t searing off your tongue as he fills you with his blood.

the ghost, the one made holy, the most beautifully silent cry for help.

did i spell his name wrong on my letter?

is this a punishment, a reminder to why i will never get better?

i can’t lay in this grave and wait for you to save me.

if you are going to save me, then why won’t you answer me?

am i allowed to get into heaven when i was born to be condemned straight to hell?

am i forgiven for the things i’ve left unwritten and unsaid?

truly, you’re the one who made the razor blade that’s shoved in my pillow, just below the head of mine that you swallowed greedily.

am i masochist or are you a sadist?

will you still love me when this cross carved into my skin fades into an unevenly crossed T?

i would carry thousands of years of my own shame if it meant i had somewhere real to store all of my blame.

if i lap up this blood, can i have my last chance of prying these nails from my palms and away from this wood?

last, certainly the least of all i have, will he come back for me once my half of this body has been dragged into his grave?

at what point does he decide whether or not i’m someone he should save?

-flightless bird.