itsjacobnotjake

[itsjacobnotjake]

Youre an endless pit, constantly absorbing light. I could have taken what i has and moved on, but i believed in you. I gave you what i had so that WE could get better. But you never intended to get better. You took what i gave you and went back to your old ways. You spit in my face and you just believe that i wont cut you out. I’ve never been appreciated. This is why i feel like im here to teach you a lesson; youre going to regret it when im gone.

[itsjacobnotjake]

You wanted my attention; you told me you were kind; you told me to trust you; you shamed me; you made me feel small; you manipulated me; you made me love you; you told me I was weak; you told me I’ve never had a hard day in my life.

Well now you’ve got my attention. I was naive; I was young; I looked up to you; I molded myself after you; I thought to be a man I had to be like you. That’s what made me weak.

Now you’re f****d. You have no idea how much rage I’ve built up. You told me that being a man meant cleaning the bottom of your shoes but I was just a doormat to you. Now I fight this monster everyday. Everyday this animal wants to get out and sink its fangs into you. Every night, I tame the beast while you sleep peacefully. I wonder how long before it catches me off guard. The day I lose, we all lose.

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[itsjacobnotjake]

“Do not go gentle into that good night,

Old age should burn and rave at close of day;

Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

Though wise men at their end know dark is right,

Because their words had forked no lightning they

Do not go gentle into that good night.”

- Dylan Thomas

They think I’m slowing down. They think I’ve forgotten. I will channel my rage and use it as fuel to carry me to my goals. Step aside or grab some popcorn and enjoy the show.

[itsjacobnotjake]

“I will not let anyone walk through my mind with their dirty feet.” Gandhi

“If you carry so much venom inside you, it’s time you convert into a serpent!” Nilanjana Haldar

“Every moment spent in negativity is paid for with something truly priceless. That something is life.” Ralph Marston

Life will inevitably make you negative. A little negativity is fine. Reality isn’t perfect. As you get older, you can choose how you react to events and people. You can choose how negatively you react in any given situation. Negativity will creep into your heart like venom, amplifying lifes already inherently negative aspects. “Negativity is basically laziness. It takes a lot of hard work to remain positive, but positivity always pays off.” Rupaul.

Work hard to be positive because life is constantly going to test you.

[itsjacobnotjake]

The younger me was happy. He smiled and laughed. Always an outcast but had many friends. It didn’t bother him how much his dad drank. He even let it go when his drinking burnt the house down. So he thought…

“There is no revenge so complete as forgiveness.” Josh Billings

So much anger, pain and sorrow. It fills my heart. Over the course of 10 years I destroyed myself… I managed to survive, barely. The doctors said if i wasn’t so young, i wouldn’t be here.

“A good death is its own reward.” Man of Steel

I don’t know how much time left I have. So, I’ll spend all my time and energy making sure that when I finally leave, I won’t have any regrets. Hopefully, when i go, they’ll call me a hero. Maybe, I’ll make you proud.

[itsjacobnotjake]

“Life is a gamble at terrible odds. If it were a bet, you wouldn’t take it.” Tom Stoppard

“Change your life today. Don’t gamble on the future, act now, without delay.” Simone de Beauvoir

“I use skill to grab a hold of luck!”

[itsjacobnotjake]

“Being alone has a power that very few people understand.” Steven Aitchinson

“I think its very healthy to spend time alone. You need to know how to be alone and not be defined by another person.” Oscar Wilde

“The most terrible poverty is loneliness and the feeling of being unloved.” Mother Theresa

“Loneliness is the poverty of self. Solitude is the richness of self.” May Sarton

It can take a long time to come to terms with being alone. For some, you never will. Bask in your moments to yourself. You’re the only one who can truly appreciate the beauty inside your own mind.

[itsjacobnotjake]

I’m not scared

to hand myself over to you

I’m scared

you won’t hand anything back

-Gemma Troy

It’s terrifying to know how much love I have to give. The reason it scares me is because I know how broken I am. I wonder if I deserve love? It would be tragic to die having so much passion in my heart. Where would I even begin to find the people like me?

…Maybe I’m meant to walk this path alone.

[itsjacobnotjake]

“To love is to burn, to be on fire.” Jane Austen

“Love does not begin and end the way we seem to think it does. Love is a battle, love is a war; love is a growing up.” James Baldwin

“In the end we discover that to love and let go can be the same thing.” Jack Kornfield

Love and pain go hand in hand. A brutal and cruel truth that will haunt you from birth until death. Always remember what it feels like to experience love for the first time though. How your hands tremble and your heart races. The pain is long and you’ll feel you can’t bear it anymore. You can. You’ll be glad you did when you experience love again.

Love is all around you, waiting to love you back.

[itsjacobnotjake]

“Your connection to all the things around you literally defines who you are.” Aaron O’Connell

“This idea of shared humanity and the connections we make with one another - that’s what, in fact, makes life worth living.” Clint Smith

In life, connections fail. Things break, people grow apart. Learn the lessons from them all. Pay attention to each relationship and its significance. Make each connection special, every relationship unique. It’s not how many lives you connect with, but how strong the connection is.

(Art Unknown.)

[itsjacobnotjake]

“A world without smiles and humor has no bright future.”

“Now that the world isn't ending, it's love that I'm sending to you. It isn't the love of a hero, and that's why I fear it won't do. They say that a hero could save us, I'm not gonna stand here and wait.” Chad Kroeger

[itsjacobnotjake]

“Though nothing can bring back the hour of splendor in the grass, of glory in the flower, we will grieve not, rather find strength in what remains behind.” William Wordsworth

“Youll always be the deepest scar on my heart” Cassia Leo

Huh. It is raining.

[itsjacobnotjake]

Legend has it, Gediminas, the Grand Duke of Lithuania, was on a hunting trip and had an unusual dream of an iron wolf standing and howling on top of a mountain, howling as loud as 100 wolves. Gediminas and his men interpreted it as a sign that upon that hill, the capitol would be built.

“All of our dreams can come true, if we have the courage to pursue them.” Walt Disney

“Don’t be pushed around by the fears in your mind. Be led by the dreams in your heart.” Roy T Bennett

I believe in you. I hope you do too.

(Art by Aleksander Lesser)

[itsjacobnotjake]

“Learn from everyone. Follow no one. Watch for patterns. Work like hell.” Scott McCloud

“Talk less, listen more. Feel deeper, lover better. Open your eyes, experience life.” Unknown

“No matter what! Whatever it takes!”

Let the passion burn in your soul. Stoke the flames and let them rage. If you feel weak, fight back. If you feel strong, fight for more than yourself. If you know the cruelness of this world, set out to make it less cruel for the generations to follow.

[itsjacobnotjake]

“Unable are the loved to die. For love is immortality.” Emily Dickinson

You don’t realize how much loved ones lift you up. When your time with them comes to an end, your heart becomes heavier. My heart is heavy today but I will continue to carry it for you. As long as I carry on, so will your memory through me.

I miss you. I love you. I will find you. We’ll spend eternity together when I finish my business here. I promise.

[itsjacobnotjake]

"That's your purpose in life; that's your mission; that's the highest achievement; is to be you, the true you, as fully as you can and enjoy the ride. That's it. You are here to become. Who you essentially are—the reason why you were put on this earth—is what you never grow tired of being" Unknown

"Connection is why we're here; it is what gives purpose and meaning to our lives" Brené Brown

“May my soul bloom in love for all existence.” Rudolf Steiner

When in doubt, trust your heart and be YOU. The world will confuse you, knock you down and bury you. When you feel lost, alone, scared or unsure, do not waver. Press on. Move forward. Give it your all with everything you have from the depths of your soul.

Do not question why you’re here. You’re here because we need you.

[itsjacobnotjake]

“We must remember that one determined person can make a significant difference, and that a small group of determined people can change the course of history.” Sonia Johnson

“Persistence and determination alone are omnipotent.” Calvin Coolidge

They won’t be able to stop me. My dreams and goals aren’t too great to reach for. I’ll take them for my own.