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ivyquill · 7 months
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ethan landry i’m looking at you
If I don’t get fucked by a man in a scream mask by the end of October I’m going to riot
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ivyquill · 7 months
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are love letters still a thing? I want one
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ivyquill · 9 months
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I hate when I’m busy doing something and my characters decide THAT’S the best time to dump an entire monologue in my head that makes me run around trying to find my phone to write it in my notes before I forget it (I’ve already forgotten it)
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ivyquill · 9 months
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write fanfic that three people in the world will read, because those three people are going to be fucking pleased that it exists
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ivyquill · 9 months
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foolish one headers
like or reblog; <3 credits on @beyahsamsvn
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ivyquill · 10 months
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when emma falls in love headers
like or reblog; <3 credits on @beyahsamsvn
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ivyquill · 10 months
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𝚖𝚊𝚛𝚊𝚞𝚍𝚎𝚛𝚜 𝚖𝚊𝚜𝚝𝚎𝚛𝚕𝚒𝚜𝚝
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dividers by: firefly-graphics * marks smut
james potter ʚɞ hits different (pending) - pronouns: ambiguous - warnings: angst - summary: moving on from your lily-obsessed best friend should have been a lot easier than it is but no matter where you go, you can see that cursed goofy grin in every corner, taunting you even at a club
remus lupin ʚɞ forbidden paradise (pending) - pronouns: she/her - warnings: light angst, fluff - summary: falling in love with a wizard isn't easy but it turns even harder when you find out that he's also a werewolf. the world certainly doesn't gift any favours onto you
sirius black ʚɞ
peter pettigrew ʚɞ
regulus black ʚɞ bleed me dry (pending) - pronouns: ambiguous - warnings: angst, minor violence/gore - summary: never have you ever been scared of your boyfriend...until you find him fangs deep into someone's neck, how can the one person who has always protected you, the most gentle boy you have ever met be revealed to be a bloodsucking vampire of all things?
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ivyquill · 10 months
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it's the way belly always said wet hair on conrad was so romantic and in the scenes where it's all about him and belly he has wet hair!!!!!! i'm sick rn. wet hair in the car, wet hair on the beach, wet hair by the fire, wet hair under the sprinklers :') jenny han you have made my life complete. i'm just going to pretend s2 consists only of flashbacks !
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ivyquill · 10 months
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jenny han ily thank you for sharing this 🙏
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ivyquill · 10 months
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THE SUMMER I TURNED PRETTY (2022-) 2.01 "Love Lost"
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ivyquill · 10 months
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Taylor Swift gif headers + The Eras Tour part 4 (part 3) (part 2) (part 1) (requested by anonymous)
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ivyquill · 10 months
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timeless is now one of my favourite fics i have ever written on this app and i have had a lot of fics even if they weren’t all on this account, im so proud of it HOWEVER i would like to warn you all that it’s getting quite long already so just trust in the process bby 😩🙏
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ivyquill · 10 months
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AHHH THANK YOU 🙏💗
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only you (peter parker)
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pairing: peter parker x reader alternate universe: none pronouns: ambiguous summary: after trying to break up with your boyfriend, he says something that you never would have expected. warnings: fluff parts: one-shot dividers by: firefly-graphics wordcount: 1,071
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You hadn’t expected it. 
How quickly the words shot from his mouth. 
“Then I won’t be Spider-man.”
How, with such ease, he was offering to change the entire trajectory of his life… 
For you. 
You blink at him, surprise wrapping over the features of your face and strangling your limbs frozen. “What?” Your voice echoes, almost sounding akin to a shout among the silence. Peter doesn’t answer at first. Your blabber-mouth boyfriend is silent. His face is soft and his body is stilling. His tearful gaze slowly rises to meet yours, his fingers twitch as they reach slowly for yours like a kitten testing a mouse but he doesn’t hesitate. You’re not even sure if he’s breathing. “Then I won’t be Spider-man.” You blink–almost flinch. “But you love Spider-man.” His fingers squeeze yours, you barely noticed that he had secured your hand in his already. “But I love you more.” He breathes, face gentle and patient. When you don’t reply, he slides slightly closer to you. ���I don’t want to be Spider-man if it means not having you.” Your breath hitches a gasp but he barely reacts, expecting your surprise from your relationship or his senses you aren’t sure. His lips curl into a gentle smile as if he can hear your thoughts. You can feel your pulse in your throat, hear its bellowing begs to calm yourself. He leans in. “Spider-man means nothing if Peter Parker can’t have you.” Your lip tucks between your teeth which all feel too sharp all of a sudden. 
You softly shake your head. “But ev-everything that you’ve worked for, everything that you’ve fought for–” He interrupts you by shaking his head and untangling from your hands. His own rise up to cup your face and press your foreheads together. “I love you more.” He repeats. The words make you more light-headed than alcohol ever could but you still lack conviction. “Petey, this is your future.” His eyes stutter closed at the familiar nickname and the warmth it permeates through his insides, toiling and tangling them like Christmas ribbon. “So are you,” He retorts, words smoothly gliding past his tongue. Your lips part but he presses his index to them, they scold you silently. “I want you to understand that I am yours, love. I am yours, no one else’s. I’m not May’s, I’m not Tony’s and I’m not New York’s.” A chuckle can’t help but bubble from his mouth. “I want to give you everything,” He lilts, voice sweet and gentle. “Whether that’s me or a thousand diamonds, I’ll make it happen, okay?” Your eyes flicker over his face in uncertainty but his smile looks so reassuring. Your arms wrap around his waist. “I don’t want to be the reason that you can’t do what you love.” You retort quietly, you want to sound sure and final but your breath trembles. His brows raise and he sidles you onto his lap, coiling your legs onto either side of his own. “Then maybe that can be arranged.” He teases and you hate the giggle that slips out of you. The only way you can describe Peter Parker is warm, gentle and yours…Maybe that isn’t such a bad thing but right now you aren’t sure whether it is right or wrong or misguided. 
Peter’s thumb rolls gentle circles beneath your left eye, his nose brushes yours. Never have the both of you ever engaged in such intimate affection. “Peter Parker has the one thing that Spider-man never will and for once that’s more important to me than the whole universe.” His eyes trace over your face with a gentle grace you have never seen. His doe eyes trickle with warmth. You flick your tongue to dampen your dry lips. “What’s that?” You ask in a fragile whisper. His lips twitch up. “Your heart, darling” His eyes flutter shut. “I want to protect that far more than I want to protect Queens.” You can’t help the goofy giddiness that spreads throughout you. “I love you.” You murmur. He rolls his eyes and grins at you. “I know.” Peter teases. You almost push him away but you both know it would take a lot more than your weak-willed hands to twirl out of his grip. As if sensing your internal plots, his hands squish your cheeks. You wrinkle your nose, unimpressed. “It just hurts,” You explain. “Seeing you like this. Seeing you hurt and knowing that there is absolutely nothing that I can do about it but watch and wait.” A sigh flutters from his mouth. “I know, love, I know…” Then his brows cinch. “I don’t even know what I would do with myself if it were you out there instead.” 
“This still doesn’t seem fair…” You murmur. He shakes his head and sighs, breath fanning over your lips. “Well lucky for you, it isn’t your decision to make fair.” He replies softly and almost teasing, a familiar playfulness seeping through. Peter’s right-hand fingers dip through the crevices of your hair, diving through the strands like pieces of thread. His touch tingles along your skin, sparks set up camp as if it’s their home. “I love you,” He utters again and it’s against your own hopes that you sigh with a light grin. “I know.” You respond. His lips turn up to tickle against yours. The skin of both your lips jigsaw into place, they brush in perfect tandem and radiate the heat you have been denying. His touch is tender and wanting, the gentleness of affection radiates as warm as a fireplace. Peter’s tongue dips out to line the seam of your lips. He pulls away. “I want a future with you–a future without villains in the way.” His voice lilts through your ears. “I want a real future with you. I-I knew someone once who lost their own you because of…this.” He gestures , perhaps you would giggle if the subject weren’t so somber. His eyes are dimmer now and something almost fearful lies just below his lids. He pecks a gentle kiss back onto your lips but lets it linger. “Well, I’m not going anywhere.” Your gentle assurance whispers in his ear. A shiver passes over him, his eyes flutter closed. His grip tightens. He knows now. He’s made peace with it. He needs you above everything else. Only you. 
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ivyquill · 10 months
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HEY THANK YOU I APPRECIATE THAT SO MUCHHH AHH I LOVE THAT LINE TOO
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only you (peter parker)
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pairing: peter parker x reader alternate universe: none pronouns: ambiguous summary: after trying to break up with your boyfriend, he says something that you never would have expected. warnings: fluff parts: one-shot dividers by: firefly-graphics wordcount: 1,071
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You hadn’t expected it. 
How quickly the words shot from his mouth. 
“Then I won’t be Spider-man.”
How, with such ease, he was offering to change the entire trajectory of his life… 
For you. 
You blink at him, surprise wrapping over the features of your face and strangling your limbs frozen. “What?” Your voice echoes, almost sounding akin to a shout among the silence. Peter doesn’t answer at first. Your blabber-mouth boyfriend is silent. His face is soft and his body is stilling. His tearful gaze slowly rises to meet yours, his fingers twitch as they reach slowly for yours like a kitten testing a mouse but he doesn’t hesitate. You’re not even sure if he’s breathing. “Then I won’t be Spider-man.” You blink–almost flinch. “But you love Spider-man.” His fingers squeeze yours, you barely noticed that he had secured your hand in his already. “But I love you more.” He breathes, face gentle and patient. When you don’t reply, he slides slightly closer to you. “I don’t want to be Spider-man if it means not having you.” Your breath hitches a gasp but he barely reacts, expecting your surprise from your relationship or his senses you aren’t sure. His lips curl into a gentle smile as if he can hear your thoughts. You can feel your pulse in your throat, hear its bellowing begs to calm yourself. He leans in. “Spider-man means nothing if Peter Parker can’t have you.” Your lip tucks between your teeth which all feel too sharp all of a sudden. 
You softly shake your head. “But ev-everything that you’ve worked for, everything that you’ve fought for–” He interrupts you by shaking his head and untangling from your hands. His own rise up to cup your face and press your foreheads together. “I love you more.” He repeats. The words make you more light-headed than alcohol ever could but you still lack conviction. “Petey, this is your future.” His eyes stutter closed at the familiar nickname and the warmth it permeates through his insides, toiling and tangling them like Christmas ribbon. “So are you,” He retorts, words smoothly gliding past his tongue. Your lips part but he presses his index to them, they scold you silently. “I want you to understand that I am yours, love. I am yours, no one else’s. I’m not May’s, I’m not Tony’s and I’m not New York’s.” A chuckle can’t help but bubble from his mouth. “I want to give you everything,” He lilts, voice sweet and gentle. “Whether that’s me or a thousand diamonds, I’ll make it happen, okay?” Your eyes flicker over his face in uncertainty but his smile looks so reassuring. Your arms wrap around his waist. “I don’t want to be the reason that you can’t do what you love.” You retort quietly, you want to sound sure and final but your breath trembles. His brows raise and he sidles you onto his lap, coiling your legs onto either side of his own. “Then maybe that can be arranged.” He teases and you hate the giggle that slips out of you. The only way you can describe Peter Parker is warm, gentle and yours…Maybe that isn’t such a bad thing but right now you aren’t sure whether it is right or wrong or misguided. 
Peter’s thumb rolls gentle circles beneath your left eye, his nose brushes yours. Never have the both of you ever engaged in such intimate affection. “Peter Parker has the one thing that Spider-man never will and for once that’s more important to me than the whole universe.” His eyes trace over your face with a gentle grace you have never seen. His doe eyes trickle with warmth. You flick your tongue to dampen your dry lips. “What’s that?” You ask in a fragile whisper. His lips twitch up. “Your heart, darling” His eyes flutter shut. “I want to protect that far more than I want to protect Queens.” You can’t help the goofy giddiness that spreads throughout you. “I love you.” You murmur. He rolls his eyes and grins at you. “I know.” Peter teases. You almost push him away but you both know it would take a lot more than your weak-willed hands to twirl out of his grip. As if sensing your internal plots, his hands squish your cheeks. You wrinkle your nose, unimpressed. “It just hurts,” You explain. “Seeing you like this. Seeing you hurt and knowing that there is absolutely nothing that I can do about it but watch and wait.” A sigh flutters from his mouth. “I know, love, I know…” Then his brows cinch. “I don’t even know what I would do with myself if it were you out there instead.” 
“This still doesn’t seem fair…” You murmur. He shakes his head and sighs, breath fanning over your lips. “Well lucky for you, it isn’t your decision to make fair.” He replies softly and almost teasing, a familiar playfulness seeping through. Peter’s right-hand fingers dip through the crevices of your hair, diving through the strands like pieces of thread. His touch tingles along your skin, sparks set up camp as if it’s their home. “I love you,” He utters again and it’s against your own hopes that you sigh with a light grin. “I know.” You respond. His lips turn up to tickle against yours. The skin of both your lips jigsaw into place, they brush in perfect tandem and radiate the heat you have been denying. His touch is tender and wanting, the gentleness of affection radiates as warm as a fireplace. Peter’s tongue dips out to line the seam of your lips. He pulls away. “I want a future with you–a future without villains in the way.” His voice lilts through your ears. “I want a real future with you. I-I knew someone once who lost their own you because of…this.” He gestures , perhaps you would giggle if the subject weren’t so somber. His eyes are dimmer now and something almost fearful lies just below his lids. He pecks a gentle kiss back onto your lips but lets it linger. “Well, I’m not going anywhere.” Your gentle assurance whispers in his ear. A shiver passes over him, his eyes flutter closed. His grip tightens. He knows now. He’s made peace with it. He needs you above everything else. Only you. 
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ivyquill · 10 months
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hate when i go out in public and the public is there
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ivyquill · 10 months
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i love this fic so much thank you for sharing it with us ♡
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AND IM SORRY THIS IS SUCH A LONG REBLOG I JUST REALLY LOVE THIS FIC, IT'S BEAUTIFUL AND I JUST FELT SO MUCH ♡♡♡♡
it was hard not to get embarrassed by any social interaction, let alone one that included both sport and a half-naked man.
ngl i let out a little cackle here 😭
Most of the people in your classes seemed like they already knew at least one person and stuck to them. Since you were not really the type to go out of your way and approach people,
oh god this is actually the worst i hate it so much im getting trauma flashbacks☠️
Your roommate hadn't arrived on campus yet either, so everything felt especially odd to you, like you were invisible to everyone. 
oh god this poor angel, she has a lot more resilience than me tbh i would be sobbing already
You didn't expect to actually be in a lab on the first day of class, and were glad you got there on time because there were barely enough lab coats for everyone in the room.
WOO IM ROOTING FOR Y/N BBY
And as you were stalking the people around you, your eyes landed on someone who looked suspiciously familiar.
ITS OUR BOY BABYYY
(okay can i be so fr right now author if you are reading this, i love you build up i feel like it's really adding to my experience right now ♡♡♡)
But now you were presented with the perfect opportunity to actually talk to him and decided to take it.
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Were you a supervillain from an alternate reality trying to expose him? Or did the spell just not work on you? All of the scenarios seemed very bad for him. 
☠️this boy like me fr always assuming the worst
why is that so peter tho 😭
"I really don't remember..." he continued, feeling his cheek heat up.
i would simply pass away, bye folks
"Oh that's fine, we never really... spoke? Like at all, I sat all the way in the back and no one could make me say a word."
AUTHOR??? DO WE SHARE AN EXISTENCE? ILY
20 minutes later the two of you were laughing over how ridiculous you looked in the yearbook.
THEY ARE SO CUTE
A few weeks later you were actually glad to have to work in pairs in the lab because Peter asked you to be his partner. 
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"Locked me in and took both of the keys on her way out. I had to call her to come back and unlock, she was pissed."
ew wtf that's so mean
"Peter, you fix all of my lab mistakes, please fix this."
OH SWEET BABY GIRL I WANT TO GIVE YOU A HUG
AUTHOR YOU'RE MAKING ME FEEL THINGS
“I don’t know where that is, genius”
i would cry
You continued sobbing at his words,
SEE
"Come on" he said, getting up and reaching out his hand to help you up as well. ''Let's get you out of here" 
I WANT HIM
SO BAD
I WANT A PETER PARKER
PLS
"I'm sorry that I asked like this." she said, letting your arm go.
oh no...
"Great!" she said with a bright smile. "Do you think he'd be into me? He has this nerdy sex appeal, I actually really want to get with him."
☠️
"Well, good luck with that." you said, patted her shoulder and walked away before you started crying in front of her.
PLS-
OUR POOR BBG
He didn't really care what was in, alcohol had little to no effect on him but he liked to pretend. 
☠️
"I do." he said, only now noticing what she was wearing. It was his flannel, with a belt around her waist.
uhoh...
"Well, I came to return it." she said, unbuttoning it and taking it off. She got up, only in her underwear and walked towards him, handing him the shirt.
UH-
MISS MA'AM????
AUTHOR YOU HAVE GAGGED ME OMG
HELP
SHE?
SHE REALLY JUST?
I MEAN OKAY
COOL
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"I think you got the wrong idea here-" he started, squeezing the flannel in his hand.
BOY IS PROBABLY STANDING THERE LIKE
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You stood there, wearing his shirt as your pajamas, double taking on what you were seeing.
OH DEAR GOD
He handed her the shirt, not even bothering to look at her.  "We're not. You can keep this, go home."
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"I know you're not sleeping, can we talk about this?"
when he communicates with you >>>>
Once the shock was over, you kissed him back.
AWWWW
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No need to hide it
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pairing: college!Peter Parker x Fem!Reader; Post nwh; not too canon
word count: 6K
warnings: underage drinking for USA citizens; mentions of sex
summary: Peter thought no one remembered him after the spell, however you did, but not for the reasons he was afraid you would. Mostly fluff and slow burn romance.
a/n: I'm a sucker for college!Peter, I literally cannot think about anything else. ANY SCIENCE TALK IS A BUNCH OF BS I KNOW NOTHING ABOUT CHEMISTRY OR SCIENCE.
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"Hey, catch!" you heard a male voice from somewhere behind you, making you turn towards the sound. A brown leather football flew throgh the air, landing in your feet. You picked it up, throwing it back to the shirtless man that was jogging in your direction.
"Thanks!!" He said after he caught it, running off back to whoever the other shirtless dude he was playing with was.
"Yeah no problem..." you muttered under your breath, trying to hide how flustered you were.
It was orientation week at Empire State University.
The weather, apparently, was still warm enough to have people running shirtless around campus, and being the shy, awkward geek you were, it was hard not to get embarrassed by any social interaction, let alone one that included both sport and a half-naked man. Overall, orientation week was going well. You checked out a few classes that sparked some interest, went to the library, the gym, even got completely settled in your dorm room. Things were going smoothly, excluding the fact you hadn't really met anyone new. Most of the people in your classes seemed like they already knew at least one person and stuck to them. Since you were not really the type to go out of your way and approach people, it left you walking around campus alone, sitting in class alone and even eating alone. It wasn't all that bad, just lonely. Your roommate hadn't arrived on campus yet either, so everything felt especially odd to you, like you were invisible to everyone. 
Four days in and the long walks between buildings were already annoying. It was so easy to get lost or distracted on the way between buildings. You didn't know the shortcuts yet, so it was always a hazard whether you would make it to class on time. Miraculously you got there early, and gave yourself a mental praise for that. You didn't expect to actually be in a lab on the first day of class, and were glad you got there on time because there were barely enough lab coats for everyone in the room. You really didn't want to be the freak who wasn't wearing one. You scanned the room as you sat down on one of the desks, secretly praying that this class wouldn't require having a lab partner or work in groups because it was going to make you feel even worse. And as you were stalking the people around you, your eyes landed on someone who looked suspiciously familiar. He wasn't terribly tall, curly brown hair, one backpack over his shoulder, flannel shirt over a plain white t-shirt and regular blue jeans. You could recognise Peter Parker from miles away. You've never felt so terrified and so excited at the same time. You finally knew someone in this university and it had to be him of all people. He never told you he was going to ESU. In his defense, you couldn't really recall ever speaking to him. You used to have the biggest crush on him back in high school, but never gathered the courage to actually chat him up, even if it were about homework. He never got assigned as your partner on a project either (no matter how many times you would fantasize about it), so you just graduated one day and accepted the fact it just wasn't meant to be. 
But now you were presented with the perfect opportunity to actually talk to him and decided to take it. Unfortunately, the class started before you could approach him. You tried your best to keep your focus on the professor, but it seemed as if that was not necessary, he was only going over the main goals of the class and what books you would need. You sneakily looked over Peter from time to time, thinking about what would be best to say to him and not make it awkward. 
The class was over in the blink of an eye, which made your heart beat pick up because you no longer had an excuse to not approach him. There was a line forming around the coat hangers, which you thought was going to be the best way to casually start a conversation. You cut the line when you saw Peter hang up his coat, putting yours next to his and smiling at him. He smiled back when the two of you locked eyes. 
"Hey" you said "Peter Parker, right?"
He looked a bit stunned by your question. First, he was starstruck because the prettiest girl he had ever seen came out of nowhere and greeted him and secondly, she knew his name. And that was not supposed to be like this at all. His mind was rushing and calculating how it were possible. Were you a supervillain from an alternate reality trying to expose him? Or did the spell just not work on you? All of the scenarios seemed very bad for him. 
The way he just sat there and said nothing was making you extremely nervous. It did feel like a terrible idea now that you had done it. 
"We used to take Spanish together in high school." you added, your voice shaking slightly from the anxiety. "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have said anything, I'm really sorr-"
"Wait Spanish?" he finally said, his theories crumbling down when he realized what was actually going on. You were no supervillain, just an old classmate. Yet, he was sure he would have remembered you. 
"I really don't remember..." he continued, feeling his cheek heat up.
"Oh that's fine, we never really... spoke? Like at all, I sat all the way in the back and no one could make me say a word."
He laughed softly at your words. 
"Wanna discuss this over coffee? If you don't have any other classes?"
"I'm free, so yeah, we could grab a coffee"
20 minutes later the two of you were laughing over how ridiculous you looked in the yearbook. Peter was holding your phone and looking at the photo in which you still had braces on, your eyebrows were so badly drawn on because you thought shaping them with a razor the night before was a good idea. It was not, you shaved off so much from one of them you had to fill it in. And since it was your first ever filling eyebrows in, it was very, very bad.  Also, your hair looked like it was made out of dark matter, because you recently had it dyed black, straightened it and accidentally put a bit too much hair oil on it. You were definitely not having a good time back then, but it was a small price to pay to hear Peter laugh so hard. A 4-month accutane treatment to acne and taking your braces off could really make a person change enough. It was a glow up and Peter could really see it now. 
"Okay now that I've seen that, I actually do remember you! You're the girl that got hit in the head with a basketball while tying her shoes on the bench during gym! Somehow you fell back and got under the benches so I had to pull you out."
"Oh no" you whined, hiding your face in your hands to hide how hard you were blushing. And he was right, that really did happen once, and it was that moment that actually started your little crush on him. You were probably 14 when it happened. You fell under the bleachers and felt so embarrassed that you froze on the spot, feeling like crying. People came running towards you, Peter beating them to it, and pulled you out by the hand. He dusted your shirt off and asked if you were alright. To your teenage mind he came in like a knight in shining armor, and it made you fall for him, very hard. 
''Come on, it wasn't that bad!" he said between laughs, giving your phone back. 
"It was bad, like really bad. How can your only memory of me be my worst moment in high school?''
"If that's your worst moment, you were doing good."
You took a sip from your coffee, your finger tracing the rim of the paper cup once you placed it down on the table. You really were regretting not talking to him in school, he seemed like such a nice person, you would have been good friends. 
"Why did you decide to go to ESU? I thought you had plans to go to MIT with your friends."
"Oh, I didn't get in."
"Yeah, totally sounds believable, Peter Parker, the Stark intern, highest SAT score in our grade, didn't get into MIT" you said sarcastically, shaking your head at him. 
He sighed, looking down at his hands. His leg started bouncing under the table and he suddenly seemed tense. Now it really did feel believable, based on his reaction. 
"Sorry, I didn't mean to..."
"It's okay, honestly I was so sure I would get in too, but I don't think I ended up at a bad place"
"Obviously you didn't, I chose ESU, which makes it the best place ever. And now that I know you're here too, I get double confirmation for that." 
He laughed softly at your words.
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A few weeks later you were actually glad to have to work in pairs in the lab because Peter asked you to be his partner. 
You arrived just before the class started, sitting down at the table and putting your protective goggles on. 
"Sorry" you said as you sat down next to him, taking the empty flask that was sitting in front of him and immediately starting to mix the things you managed to read on the board. 
Peter smiled at you as he watched you, doing his own thing which you didn't pay too much attention to. 
"Roommate problems again?" he asked. 
Being lab partners meant the two of you had to talk regularly, which led to getting closer. You didn't know many people there besides him and your nightmare of a roommate. 
"You have no idea." you sighed, dropping a few droplets into a test tube. The mixture inside started smoking up slightly, you swirled it around until it stopped, passing it to him so he could heat it up. 
"What did she do this time?"
"Locked me in and took both of the keys on her way out. I had to call her to come back and unlock, she was pissed."
"Still don't get how someone can be so rude to you for no reason."
"I don't think she hates me really, she hates the idea of me. Not every 3rd year student is keen on the idea of babysitting a freshmen, I totally get that."
Peter wrote something down in his notebook after the mixture started bubbling up. You looked at it, brows furrowing. 
"What's the temperature?"
"140 F" 
"Peter that's not supposed to happen" you said worried 
"Actually it is, you didn't have the time to read the board and put only half"
"Oh-"
He removed the test tube, letting it cool down.
"It's okay, we'll just multiply it by two."
"Sometimes I wonder what I would do if you weren't here."
"Probably blow up the place."
You rolled your eyes at him before the both of you laughed, continuing your work. You tried being more concentrated now, and for the most part it was working out. Until Peter would roll up his sleeves and expose his forearms. Or when he would take the goggles off to fix his hair. You tried staring as discreetly as possible, but he probably did notice it every time.
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That same night was your first ever frat party. You weren't really a fan of parties, the high school ones you went to were boring but you were hoping that college ones were going to live up to the hype everyone was giving them. Plus, you were trying to make amends with your roommate, and she wanted some alone time with her boyfriend back at your place. The idea of frat boys really turned you off, you had seen more than enough of them in class and around campus. 
The music was booming through the speakers as you entered the house, people were everywhere. You could barely squish through the crowd, it was barely 10 pm and people were already wasted. You really wanted to let loose that night too, so you made it over to the bar and took whatever drink was handed to you first. It was vodka. Tasted bitter and burned down your throat and stomach as you drank it. The stress from university and the complicated relationship with Ruth, your roommate, were really starting to get you. Add your unresolved feelings for Peter to the mix and you really do have a strong enough pressure to make you explode like a time bomb. So, you wanted to take some pressure off by drinking and dancing. No one knew you here anyway so it was relatively easy to just do whatever you wanted. 
Five shots of vodka were already in your system by the first hour. The dance floor was yours to take. A red plastic cup in your hand while you were swaying to the rhythm of the song playing, boys were coming from left and right to dance together. And you did dance with them, probably even made out with one or two as well. It continued for what felt like forever, until 2 am rolled around and you started feeling tired and wasted. And the alcohol in your blood was about to hit you in the worst way possible and make you overthink everything that was going on around you. At that point you were sat on a couch in the trashed living room and some dude was talking to you. His hand was on your knee. You were too preoccupied by your own thoughts to even listen to whatever he had to say.
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Peter hid behind his apartment building on campus, looking around to make sure no one would see him as he took off the spider-man costume. Ever since he went back to no one knowing his identity, he had to sneak around. He couldn't risk any of his roommates seeing him accidentally so he took the costume off outside after patrol, shoved it in his backpack and walked in. If anyone was ever awake and asked where he was, he would say either the library or doing lab work with you. He really did use you as an excuse a lot to his roommates, which gave them all kinds of wrong ideas. He didn't share a bedroom with anyone, which made his life so much easier, but there was a whole other bedroom with two boys in it in his apartment. 
No one was awake when he walked in, throwing his bag on the floor next to his bed. He felt shattered. The whole studying and spider-man business was draining his batteries like never before. Peter lay down on the bed, too tired to even get out of his jeans. He was rapidly drifting into sleep when his phone started ringing. He groaned in annoyance, looking at the screen only to see it were from you. Peter quickly picked it up, any feeling of tiredness leaving his body when he heard you crying on the other side of the phone. 
"Hey, hey, what happened? Are you hurt? Where are you?" he asked, panicked. 
"Ruth locked me out again." you cried on the phone "She left her key in, she was with her boyfriend and they were probably doing the deed and locked themselves and fell asleep."
You babbled really fast, he was trying to understand what you were saying but it was muffled by soft sobs. And you didn't sound sober either. 
"Peter, you fix all of my lab mistakes, please fix this."
He wasn’t sure what to do, especially since he didn’t know where you lived exactly. There weren’t many opinions in this situation, he could either find you and kick the door down so you could get in your place or he could take you in his room and let you sleep there. 
“Can you tell me where you are?” 
“In front of my dorm?”
“I don’t know where that is, genius”
You continued sobbing at his words, which made him feel even worse. You were very vulnerable and probably scared and he was acting poorly. 
“Okay, okay, sorry, I didn't mean that. Tell me where your dorm is and I’ll come fix it, okay?”
“It’s the one next to the library” 
He hopped out of his bed, rushing towards the building. 
When he got there he saw you sitting on the steps, looking down at your feet. 
"Hey" he said, standing in front of you, his hands in his pockets as he watched you slowly look up to him. Your eyes were red from all the crying and your cheeks were still wet from the tears. Peter sat down next to you with a sigh, the second he did that he could tell you had been drinking. The smell of vodka and cigarettes were all over your clothes. 
"Hi" you muttered back after a while, not really sure what to say or do at this point. 
"So what happened?" he whispered to you, bumping his shoulder into yours
"I got locked out, again" you whispered back, looking at him. He was smiling, a warm, comforting smile that made you feel so incredibly guilty that you called him. 
It made you realize what time it actually was, and that you probably woke him up. It was the middle of the night, and you woke up the closest thing you had to a friend here to help you. You ruined his sleep so he could save you from something you could have probably figured out on your own if you weren’t drunk. 
"Come on" he said, getting up and reaching out his hand to help you up as well. ''Let's get you out of here" 
You took his hand, the tears were welling up in your eyes again as you looked at him. He seemed so tired, yet he came rushing to your rescue. 
He walked in his room, trying to be as quiet as possible. 
"Wow you have a double bed??" you said as you looked around his room.
"Oh, yeah" he said, blushing when he saw the state of it. He didn't really think about making the bed before he left and the bedding looked like scrambled eggs with all the pillows and blankets everywhere. Peter didn’t want to look messing in front of you but it was too late for that.
"Lucky duck" 
Peter was kind enough to take out some clothes for you to sleep in while you showered. It was a spare pair of pajama pants and an old star wars t-shirt. He looked away while you got dressed and helped you into bed after that. 
"I can't thank you enough for this."
"Oh, you can, you can do my calculus homework."
The both of you laughed after that. He grabbed a pillow and a blanket, with the intention of sleeping on the couch. 
"Where are you going?"
"To sleep?"
"Not here?"
"Well, no-.... I-.... Don't want to invade...."
"I feel bad enough about it as it is, please come sleep in your bed, it's big enough" you whined.
Peter stood at the door. He really didn't want to make you feel uncomfortable, or crush you while he slept but at that point he was so shattered that the bed seemed like the best thing that could happen to him. You got up and pulled him towards the bed, grabbing the pillow and blanket with your other hand and throwing them on.
Peter was asleep the second his head hit the pillow, and you followed a minute or two later. It didn't feel as weird to sleep in the same bed as the two of you had anticipated. Maybe the alcohol helped. You were pretty sure that it was, in fact, the alcohol that made you call him, the one that insisted on sharing the bed as well. Sober you would probably be a flustered mess just from the thought of being in Peter's bedroom alone. 
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The second Ruth knew you had somewhere to sleep over, she took advantage of it. It was happening so often that you basically had a schedule when you would sleep over at Peter's. He didn't mind one bit because it was a reason to spend time with you. Plus, you did all your work for classes together, even in classes you or him weren't taking. So by the middle of the semester, you two were practically platonically dating. 
And it made you feel the worst and the best type of ways at the same time. You absolutely loved spending time with him and your feelings were only getting deeper and deeper with each day. Somehow, you still felt like you were taking away the college experience from him. He declined every party opportunity his roommates suggested, he rarely spoke to other girls and if he went out with friends from other classes, he would always make you tag along with them. Everyone thought that if you were not dating, then you were definitely hooking up, no matter how many times you denied it. Truth being told, it was actually kind of weird that you weren't doing either of those. And it got even weirder when someone else started expressing an interest in Peter.
Surprisingly enough, even to yourself, you actually liked going to parties. The alcohol helped you loosen up and talk and since Peter actually had other friends, now you knew some people here and there. You would always find someone to chat with at a party and you learned that socializing wasn't at all as scary as it seemed before. 
Tonight you found yourself at a random party in some basement of the dorm on the other side of campus. You knew that you'd be home late so the arrangements of staying over at Peter's were already made. As you were speaking to someone from your beginner-friendly biology class, a girl approached you. She was tall, way taller than you, had long dark hair and an amazing body. She grabbed your arm and said your name in a questioning tone. You nodded slightly taken aback from the interaction. 
"Can I borrow you for a second?" she asked, turning to the other person in an apologetic smile. 
"Sure."
She pulled you a bit away, still holding your arm right above the elbow. The whole thing was making you tense for some reason. 
"I'm sorry that I asked like this." she said, letting your arm go. "Actually, we've met before, I take calculus with Peter Parker, he brought you over at one of our group study sessions."
"Oh. Right." you did remember her now, but she looked slightly different with heavy makeup on. She definitely looked like one of the it girls on campus and you got the impression that she actually was. 
"So I wanted to ask if you and Peter were a thing?"
Once again you were stunned by a question from her. You looked around for some reason, she was making you feel uneasy. 
"Um, no, we're not."
"Great!" she said with a bright smile. "Do you think he'd be into me? He has this nerdy sex appeal, I actually really want to get with him."
You were blinking in disbelief towards her. This whole thing was really not making you feel well about your situation. She was gorgeous and she wanted to fuck your crush, it was going to end badly for you. You felt something like a ball in your throat that you knew even the gin couldn't wash down. 
"Well, good luck with that." you said, patted her shoulder and walked away before you started crying in front of her.
The whole situation really put you in a bad mood. There was nothing particularly wrong with it, but it managed to burst the bubble you were so peacefully living in. It got you wondering if Peter had his eyes on someone, if he was sleeping around with different girls, if he was going on dates. You kept imagining it, and drinking to try to stop, but nothing seemed to help. You couldn't spend every waking second with him to know, plus he never talked about girls with you. You didn't know who he was texting, or if he were going out with someone and not telling you. You were sure he wasn't because no girlfriend would ever feel okay with some random girl sleeping over as much as you did. Then again, he could be hooking up with someone, you were only sleeping over two or three times a week. 
You were so preoccupied by your worries that you almost didn't pick up your phone when Peter called. He said he finished whatever work he had to do and was going to come to the party and pick you up. It made you even more anxious. 
He walked through the door 15 minutes after the phone call. The whole thing was a sensory overload for him, the music was way too loud, the colors were too flashy, people were everywhere. He was constantly on edge because people were walking a little too close and his reflexes were being triggered. He hated parties. He hated the idea of you liking them even more. With the amount of time the two of you were spending together in the last few months, he grew very attached, he even developed a little crush of his own, but he was too terrified to admit that. Given his background and his secret, he wasn't too sure he wanted to put you through what MJ had gone through. He felt like it would be unfair to lie to you at the same time, it's not something you could hide from the person you're dating. 
People greeted him here and there, giving him brofists and handshakes. Peter really felt like a real frat boy, but he hated the experience. He froze in his tracks when he saw a girl that looked just like you making out with some dude. He could hear his heartbeat in his ears, his chest tightened and it felt like someone set his lungs on fire. You were wearing black skinny jeans and a black top, hair was tied in a bun and your tongue was in someone's mouth. Was that why you sounded so weird on the phone? Was that why you waited so long to pick up? Peter was too stunned to even move so he just stood there in shock for a few seconds. He felt a hand on his shoulder, which made him snap out of it, turning his head. He met your eyes when he looked down, giving you a confused look. His head turned back to the other you that was still exchanging saliva with a guy, then back to the actual you. He finally started breathing again. Your outfit was actually nothing like the girl's, you had a long-sleeved light blue dress on that had a v-cut. It made you look really desirable and the way the color mixed so well with the lighting in the room, you looked like you walked straight out of Peter's dreams. He was practically trying to take pictures of you with his eyes for later. 
"What?" you asked as you noticed his stare, looking at your dress for accidental spills or any signs of why he was looking at you like that. 
"Nothing, actually." he said, taking the cup you were holding and finishing whatever was in it. He didn't really care what was in, alcohol had little to no effect on him but he liked to pretend. 
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You expected to go home shortly after Peter's arrival, but things didn't play out that way. The girl that talked to you about him earlier tonight saw the two of you and came over to chat. After 15 minutes of them talking and you awkwardly standing there, holding an empty cup in your hand, you were feeling more annoyed than ever. And pretty drunk too. You were already in a bad mood because of her, and when Peter suggested walking her to her dorm you just felt like crying. Your feet were killing you because of the heels you were wearing and you made sure to inform him but he seemed to have forgotten about that. 
And now, all three of you were walking around campus to get her safely to her room. You were giving them a side eye the whole time while she tried to scoot over closer to him. And when she said she was cold she could offer his flannel, you rolled your eyes so hard you got scared they'd get stuck and not come back. Unfortunately, they did come back and you had to witness him putting his shirt over her shoulders. Once at her dorm, she even had the audacity to kiss his cheek before walking in. It made him blush, and you, you were really about to throw up at that point. It felt like a very weird game of chess, and she had checked you in it. 
"Are you okay?" Peter asked when he saw how you looked. Gorgeous, he thought, but kind of pale and like you would collapse any second. 
"No" you said, your eyes meeting his. You could see the lipstick stain on his skin from the other girl and now you really did feel like throwing up. You were only 3 steps away from him and he made them so fast you felt like he teleported. 
"No, no, Peter, step away" you told him, your hand covering your mouth while you rushed to the nearest trash can and actually threw up. He rushed after you, holding your hair as you did. 
"You didn't look THAT drunk."  he said, patting your back while you were coughing. 
"This is so embarrassing" you cried softly, as if this night wasn't humiliating enough. 
"There, there, I hope you got it all out because I am not changing my sheets for the second time today." 
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"I'm thinking about switching my field of studies." you said, looking at Peter. 
He took his glasses, looking at you in disbelief. He was sat at his desk, trying to solve a math problem while you were lying on his bed, playing on your phone. 
"Chemistry doesn't do it for you anymore?" he asked mockingly.
"No, I just hate spending so much time with you." you replied in the same tone, sticking your tongue out at him. 
It had been a week since the whole party thing. You didn't throw up at his place, but you did have the worst hangover of your life. Peter helped you through it, but didn't pass up an opportunity to make fun of you.
"Then why are you here? I'm sure there's a party somewhere on campus."
"Shut upppp" you groaned, throwing a pillow at him. He caught it mid air and put it on the back of his chair before turning to finish his work. 
It felt like it was too early to sleep but you didn't have anything better to do since Peter was so busy with math. You turned on your side, facing the wall, since you liked sleeping on the side next to the wall, and closed your eyes. You didn't know how long it had been but you were definitely asleep when you got woken up by a knock on the door. You looked up with confusion, half asleep when Peter gave you an apologetic smile and got up from his chair to check who it was. 
He assumed it was one of his roommates that either lost or forgot his key, but he was surprised to open the door to his calculous classmate. 
"Hey, Pete." She said "May I come in?"
"Sure-" he said, letting her in
The girl walked over to the couch and sat down. 
"Remember last week when you gave me this shirt?" 
"I do." he said, only now noticing what she was wearing. It was his flannel, with a belt around her waist.
"Well, I came to return it." she said, unbuttoning it and taking it off. She got up, only in her underwear and walked towards him, handing him the shirt.
Peter was so flustered that he had to stare at his feet the whole time. 
"I think you got the wrong idea here-" he started, squeezing the flannel in his hand.
"About what?" she asked, squatting down in front of him so he could see her, and, well, you know...
Just as he was about to move, the door of his bedroom flew open. You stood there, wearing his shirt as your pajamas, double taking on what you were seeing. You didn't think there would be anything serious happening, but the chatter was disturbing your sleeping attempts and you wanted to check what was going on. But now you were just frozen in your spot, staring at a half-naked girl that was on her knees in front of Peter. Both of their heads turned towards you, staring in the same amount of disbelief. It felt like your worst nightmares had turned into reality. Neither of you knew what to do or what to say and you just stood there in silence, the tension so heavy it could suffocate someone. 
"It's not what it looks like." Peter managed to say, holding eye contact with you. 
''I'm so sorry, I didn't know-'' she started, getting up from the floor. 
"I think I'll pretend I dreamt that and go back to sleep." you said, closing the door before anyone could do or say anything else. 
"Peter, I didn't know, she told me you two weren't a thing last week."
He handed her the shirt, not even bothering to look at her. 
"We're not. You can keep this, go home."
She walked to the door, stopping at it to look at his back. 
"I'm really sorry, if I can do anything, tell me." 
"Goodnight."
He knocked gently on the door before walking in. He saw you tucked in the bed, hugging one of the pillows. You weren't really sure what to feel right now and you were trying your best not to cry. It wasn't like the things between you had changed and you had no right to be upset over his personal affairs. Peter sat on the bed next to you, placing a hand on your shoulder. 
"I know you're not sleeping, can we talk about this?"
"Talk about what?"
"What happened back there."
"There is nothing to talk about."
"I don't want you to get the wrong idea."
You sat up, still hugging the pillow. You pressed the back against the wall, looking directly into his eyes.
"Why?"
"Why what?"
"Why don't you want me to get the wrong idea? Whatever that is supposed to mean."
He looked at his lap, unsure of what to say next. 
"Because I'm not that kind of guy."
"Peter, it's none of my business what you do for fun."
"For fun? You think I do this for fun?"
"You're not doing math for fun, that's for sure."
"Are you always a bitch or is it a defense mechanism?"
"You were the one who wanted me to ''not get the wrong idea'' and suddenly I turned into a bitch?"
"Okay, I overstepped on that one. Nothing happened there, I haven't talked to her or seen her since we left the party together and you threw up."
"Okay, for some reason I believe that, but why should it be concerning me?"
"Stop pretending."
"Excuse me?"
He didn't say anything after that, just pulled your arm so you could get closer to him and kissed you. It happened so fast you couldn't really process it. Once the shock was over, you kissed him back. You probably looked like a teen movie kissing scene, you on your knees and arms while he was sitting, one arm for support and the other one cupping your face as you kissed. 
"I should have done this way sooner." he said after you parted.
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ivyquill · 10 months
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like if you save.
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