jaecarys-jc-brooks - Tumblr blog

[jaecarys-jc-brooks]

Jesse being righteous and Good: When you kill a killer, there are the same amount of killers in the world.

Ashe: [with her mouth full] kill two

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Ashe, at Starbucks: Can I get a venti vanilla latte with, uh... seven espresso shots?

Kalt, in line behind her: Jesus christ just do cocaine

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Oryus: i prevented a murder today

Jesse: amazing! howd you do that?

Oryus: self control

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Kalt: *loses ashe in a crowd*

Kalt: *quickly turns around*

Kalt: *panics*

Kalt: *frantically searches*

Kalt: *sees her entering a bakery*

Kalt: *annoyed growl*

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Ashe: I really want a remote that can make people shut the fuck up with the click of a button

Kalt: *slides a gun across the table*

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Silas, texting Kalt: answer your phone

Kalt, texting back: one sec I cant find my phone

Silas: ok

Silas, five minutes later: you're a terrible friend. you know you're killing me. you're killing your friend

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James: Wait for it, wait for it...9:01, Calen is officially late for the first time ever. Alright, let's do this. Who's got theories?

Kapanna: His alarm didn't go off.

James: All three alarms, all with battery backups? Come on, who wants to take this seriously?

Roland: Oh! He was taken in his sleep.

James: That's what I'm talking about. Super dark, Roland, but way more plausible than Kapanna's idiotic alarm clock theory.

Neri: I bet he tucked himself in his bed too tight and got stuck.

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Silas: Were you dropped on your head as a kid?

Oryus: Bold of you to assume I was held.

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Oryus: So you have twelve apples and one friend asks for six. What do you have?

Jesse:

Jesse: [tears up]

Jesse: a friend

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Person: Are you a top or a bottom?

Oryus: I'm a threat.

Jesse, from across the room: hes a bottom

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Ashe: You're a lying, cheating piece of shit. You're not the man I married.

Kalt: Then we'll get a divorce, and I'm taking Dagen!

Silas: I think we should stop playing monopoly now.

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Ashe: Kalt will come up with a plan.

Silas: well that's good right?

Ashe: it's possible you're not recalling some of his previous plans.

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Kalt: what did you do?

Ashe: okay I'll tell you, but you have to promise you won't be mad.

Kalt: What. Did. You. Do?

Ashe: Well, I was minding my own business-

Kalt: bullshit!

Ashe: I was!

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Kidnapper: We have your boyfriend

Orynth: I don't have a boyfriend

Kidnapper: he made us reevaluate our life choices and now we feel really bad, can you come pick him up?

Orynth: Oh my god, you have Jesse

Kidnapper: I'm going to become a painter

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Silas: Right, who do we know has handcuffs?

Kalt: Well Ashe and I-

Ashe: *glaring at Kalt*

Kalt: Wouldn't know.

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Kalt: I'm gonna need a human skull I can't have you ask any questions why.

Orynth: only if you also don't ask why

Orynth: *pulls out 7 pristine human skulls*

Kalt:

Orynth:

Kalt: this one is fine

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Ashe: My food is too hot, I can't eat it.

Kalt: You're too hot, but I still eat you.

Silas, slamming his hands on the table: ONE DINNER

Silas: ONE PEACEFUL DINNER IS ALL I ASK