jbhemlock

[jbhemlock]

You really need to include a sexier Sauron image. Something that gives more David Bowie, perhaps…

SAURON PROPAGANDA:

Honestly what isn’t there to say about him

Canonically hot as fuck for 80% of his existence. Only became ugly later on (RIP)

Has several very sexy names like Mairon and Tar-Mairon and Morgoth’s Fuckass Bitch

“In his beginning he was of the Maiar of Aulë, and he remained mighty in the lore of that people.” Hawt. Daddy Aulë still crying over him like he lost a child

Shapeshifter. Like blondes? Sorted. Prefer brunettes? No problem. Want him bald? He could do it.

Loves to give presents. He’s totally friendly! Take his rings. And he gives such good advice! Just look at Númenor! Don’t you want Númenor?

Was the one running things in Angband for quite a long time. Also spied on the activities in Almaren and Valinor for Morgoth

Big dog guy. Turned into a dog. Isle of Werewolves.

Bites :)

Morgoth’s fav

Enjoys order, planning, and coordination. Dislikes chaos and confusion. One must wonder why he joined Morgoth then

Standing on the top of the temple with lightning around him laughing as Numenor sinks - hot

‘he rose like a shadow of Morgoth and a ghost of his malice’

Extremely dedicated. seriously this guy did not know when to quit. Extremely committed to every bit he partakes in

I mean have you SEEN how hot Annatar was

Celebrimbannered Celebrimbor :)

Nearly conquered the whole of Middle-earth

“Sauron was become now a sorcerer of dreadful power, master of shadows and of phantoms, foul in wisdom, cruel in strength, misshaping what he touched, twisting what he ruled, lord of werewolves; his dominion was torment” slay

Won the rap battle against Finrod

Unfortunately did NOT win the battle against Lúthien

He found the elves first before Oromë did. Cute

Very good at hiding

MAEDHROS PROPAGANDA:

Feen’s first son. Probably very hot given how hot his dad was

Actually tried to be a decent guy in Beleriand unlike most of his brothers

Tall and ginger

Named Fingon the valiant and did not forget his friendship even when the ships were burned :’( and he “alone stood to the side”!!

Unfortunately got gotted by Morgoth. Hung from his wrist for like 20 years.

“for the fire of life was hot within him, and his strength was of the ancient world, such as those possessed who were nurtured in Valinor. His body recovered from his torment and became hale, but the shadow of his pain was in his heart; and he lived to wield his sword with left hand more deadly than his right had been.” Cute

Tragic! So tragic!

Invented Active Elf Suicide by jumping into a volcano. Yay.

“Maedhros did deeds of surpassing valour, and the Orcs fled before his face; for since his torment upon Thangorodrim his spirit burned like a white fire within, and he was as one that returns from the dead” slaydhros!

Moved his bros out of Hithlum so they wouldn’t bitch

March of Maedhros, Union of Maedhros, all named after him

He just seems like a big purring cat :)

Himring alone stood among the Dagor Bragollach! In fact Tol Himring is still around in the third age!

Searched for Eluréd and Elurín after the second kinslaying :(

Stole the two remaining Silmarils with Maglor

“But Maedhros and Maglor would not hearken, and they prepared, though now with weariness and loathing, to attempt in despair the fulfilment of their oath; for they would have given battle for the Silmarils, were they withheld, even against the victorious host of Valinor, even though they stood alone against all the world.” This is so hot

I guess he also is hot because he died in a fiery chasm.

Was noted for his bodily comeliness and was named Maitimo for it ;)

Shared Beren’s epesse

[jbhemlock]

My God, this man is a treasure

Video captions: And stop trying to show your ex what they missed out on! Stop trying to teach your family a lesson for not believing in you! Stop trying to shit on your haters! Do it for you! Do it because you deserve it! Do it for YOU! Water your dreams with love! Don’t put no hate and resentment, and try to — “oh Imma fucking show them, Imma show” — FUCK THEM! Fuck them, do it for you! They don’t matter! They NEVER mattered.

[jbhemlock]

Absolutely

That post about death note being "everyone's first anime" (untrue statement) made me curious and now I want to gather data for science

Can you reblog this and tell me where are you from and what was your starter anime?

[jbhemlock]

I was watching "I am Nobody," and there's simply no way.

[jbhemlock]

This is it, in a nutshell.

If you feel an urge to protest that "No one told you," you should probably spend some time thinking about where that urge is coming from.

It's perfectly reasonable to be shocked and say "Man, that's crazy! Why did no one teach me about this in US History class?"

Like onemuseleft so clearly put it: You have been educated and now you can choose how you react to that.

My suspicion is, when things like this come up and people react by protesting that "no one told me that," they're protesting because they feel some twinge of guilt. And that can sting. But - and think about this, really, because it's coming from a place of love - guilt itself is useless unless it prompts action. I grew up in the Catholic church, and internalized my fair share of guilt for, oh, pretty much everything. And one of the things that helped me deal with it was reading about how the Jesuits consider guilt to be a sign. Instead of wasting time wallowing in the guilt, they treat it as a signal that they should look around and see if something is fucked up and needs attention.

That's a great way to look at it, I think. We live in a world that's filled with inequity, and (especially those of us who are American) are encouraged to buy into that inequity. And many of us grow up imagining that we live in a world where the inequity is decreasing, where things are getting better. But if you really look around, maybe you'll find that things aren't getting better. Maybe you'll find that inequity in all it's forms (racism, sexism, classism, etc) keeps cropping up. And when you see that, you can choose to act to try to fix that.

And a good start to that is simply to learn things you didn't know.

Like this.

On 28 January 1917, Carmelita Torres, a 17-year-old Mexican maid who worked in the United States, refused to take the mandatory gasoline bath given to day labourers at the border, and convinced 30 other trolley passengers to join her. 

Her protest spread in what became known as the bath riots. Torres was one of many workers who crossed the border between Juarez and El Paso each day. In the name of public health, Mexican workers were frequently subjected to degrading and humiliating treatment. They had to strip naked, brave, undergo a toxic gasoline bath, and have their clothes steamed. The stated aim of the programme was to kill lice, which can spread typhus. However, it was not applied to everyone crossing the border: just working class Mexicans. 

In addition to gasoline being poisonous, it was also a deadly fire risk. A group of prisoners in El Paso being treated with gasoline were burned to death in an accidental fire. Furthermore, US health workers were secretly photographing naked Mexican women.

 On January 28, anger at the practice finally exploded, and within a few hours Torres had amassed a crowd of several thousand mostly women protesters. They blocked all traffic and trolleys into El Paso. They pelted immigration officers with rocks and bottles when they try to disperse them, and when US and then Mexican troops arrived they received the same treatment. The riots were eventually suppressed by the soldiers, and Torres herself was arrested. This appeared to have the effect of discouraging future protests. 

The enforced bathing and fumigation of Mexican workers with toxic chemicals like gasoline, and later DDT and Zyklon B, continued until the 1950′s. The use of Zyklon B at the border appealed to scientists in Nazi Germany, who in the late 1930′s began using the agent at borders and in concentration camps for delousing. Although notoriously they later used it to exterminate millions of people in the Holocaust.“

[jbhemlock]

People who hate Frodo Baggins are my enemy. "He didn't do anything and was useless"--yeah, okay, so what you're not understanding is that he was the sacrificial lamb. He endured physical, mental, and emotional torment that got worse and worse as his will broke. Everyone knew this. EVERYONE KNEW THIS. That's why everyone was devastated about it. Because Frodo was the most innocent among them, that was the entire point. He represented ordinary peaceful people being destroyed by the horrors of war. And as a hobbit he also represented some of the last vestiges of magic in what was basically a post magic apocalypse.

Frodo was basically an innocent puppy thrown into the Torment Nexus so that EVERYONE ELSE could maybe have a hope of surviving. And he did that willingly. HE DID IT OF HIS OWN FREE WILL, KNOWING IT WOULD RUIN HIM.

Frodo haters won't see the light of heaven

[jbhemlock]

Soon

S O O N

[jbhemlock]

@balrogballs Fondest greetings, Ms Balls, I just had to tell you how much I love your sketches of characters from Tolkien. This Fëanor especially captures the essential 1980s L.A. hair-metal bro-ness of him, and I'll never imagine his looking any other way.

elf speed-portraits part 1

nerdanel - 25 minutes.

graphite, i went over her hair with a red marker

rendered relatively swiftly, i even had five minutes left over to do a little pattern around her. convenient queen.

took me barely any time to find her little smile. she really said “i will not make your life difficult, balls my beloved”

leave your lover, leave him for me

fëanor – 32 minutes.

the man is one of my top five blorbos but he has displayed classic fëanorian behaviour and proved IMPOSSIBLE to pin down proportions in a timely manner to the point i had to take two extra minutes or else i’d leave him entirely bald at the top and he’d idk come eat me in my sleep or some shit. spider ass mf.

i was so annoyed with this i had to slap down a bunch of cute headcanons or else i would have taken this and just eaten the paper like a cow.

attempted fëanorian inventiveness by using charcoal, a medium still very new to me that i take forever to render anything with. much like the time fëanor tried to invent anal beads, the experiment in speed failed completely.

i want to kick his ass.

i am trying to get better at rendering faces fast because i take 2-3 hours for every decent portrait, so have decided to practice by drawing elves in 30 minutes (or, if you’re like fucking fëanor, 32 minutes). feel free to suggest your blorbo and i will add them to the list ✨ these were suggested by @erendur @astral-aromance @sallysavestheday

[jbhemlock]

Be careful out there. Know your rights.

ICE raids are set to start as soon as tuesday (JAN 21, 2025) in Chigago so make sure you know your rights, your community, and your plan.

ICE MUST have a warrant to search/enter any property. they will lie and manipulate you to allow them on the premises but if they arent holding a valid document in their hands they cannot legally do anything

They may say something like "our warrant is in the truck," tough shit, have them bring it to you, DO NOT FOLLOW THEM ANYWHERE. Do not leave your property if confronted.

If you are taken, say nothing until a lawyer is present. The exception is if there are bystanders present/filming, then you should shout your name and whats happening

If you are witnessing a raid in your community, wait to warn others via phone as the cops may be monitoring nearby communications and may use that to select their next targets. Warn by code or word of mouth

escape if the opportunity presents itself, but dont be stupid.

[jbhemlock]

Lord of the Rings. Always Lots of the Rings.

Though Diane Duane’s Rihannsu and C.J. Cherry’s Alliance books have lived rent free in my life through all that, too.

not allowed to say Harry Potter, but what was your book series obsession as a teen

mine was definitely Eragon

[jbhemlock]

Oh god, the headlights. I drive a car that’s, you know, car sized, and there’s always some jacked up truck with maladjusted lights shining right through my skull.

Parked in front of a pickup truck whose hood goes all the way up to my armpit. To my ARMPIT. I am almost six feet tall!!! I know fully grown adults with less altitude than this guy's hood ornament. For a car you drive around the city!!! Deranged behavior! The local government can talk about Vision 0 and ban turning right on red as much as they want, but I suspect it might be more efficient to require that drivers be able to see more than the eyebrows of the average person through their windshield

[jbhemlock]

How could I not pass the Patrick lobster on. We could all use good luck, so please reblog

[jbhemlock]

This really is a great idea

On it passeð

[jbhemlock]

🎃🎃🎃🎃🎃🎃🎃🎃🎃🎃

TOMORROW IS HALLOWEEN

🎃🎃🎃🎃🎃🎃🎃🎃🎃🎃

TOMORROW IS HALLOWEEN!!!

[jbhemlock]

@xiranjayzhao, you are my favorite person in the whole internet today! Please, don't stop!

I originally filmed this rant after seeing a now-deleted video in which a dude was like "So many of you are calling for a revolution in my comments but you don't realize how badly the French Revolution went!! Working class movements always get coopted by the bourgeoisie or the military!!"

While he had some valid points about needing to think hard about the realistic geopolitical consequences of a revolution and having to do prep work before flippantly calling for one, it pissed me off that he was lecturing people like that while obviously not knowing SHIT about the French Revolution. He was also dismissing the Russian Revolution in a very shallow way in the comments. This is not to say that those revolutions are immune from criticism, but productive criticism has to be based in FACTS and STUDY and not vibes from 20-minute Oversimplified videos.

Some on the left have this tendency to turn up their noses at previous revolutions and act like there's no point in even acknowledging them because Guillotine Bad Gulag Bad or whatever, but that is very unhelpful behaviour. To truly learn from the past we need to understand the nuanced how and why that led to devastating mistakes and atrocities during revolutions.

[jbhemlock]

As someone with a disturbing amount of sexy Sauron/Morgoth slash art, despite not wanting to live in a world that contains the likes of either Sauron or Morgoth, I find this argument very clear and refreshing.

Hello! Someone genuinely trying to understand and perhaps unlearn some reactionary tendencies. With the response to that anon about "not asking if you're a pro or anti", the response about "imagine if they put this much effort into protecting real kids" definitely got me thinking. So... Is an adult shipping children and finding that hot NEVER a red flag? Or is it case by case on seeing how that person handles the distinction between fiction and reality in other things? And bringing the issue of real kids into it, if a real kid who has been abused sees someone shipping kids and finds that a red flag in that person, that... No, no I juicy answered my own question on that one. Block them and cultivate your own experience.

hi there anon, and congrats on trying to unlearn some things! and great job catching yourself at the end there, that's exactly correct.

I will start by saying this right out of the gate: fundamentally, I do not really give a shit about what made up scenarios about fictional characters people are jorking it to in private. I am, first and foremost, interested in how they are interacting with actual, real people.

"but Makenzie are you saying people who look at sexually explicit images of real human kids should be allowed near children?" no I'm not. please note that I was specifically talking about people engaging with fictional characters who are, you know, not real and do not have feelings and therefore cannot actually be hurt, traumatized, abused, etc, in any way that actually matters. I want to be so clear about this: you can genuinely think whatever vile things you want about fictional characters. you can enjoy any problematic shit you want with little guys who don't actually exist.

like, here's an example I use a lot: I'm kind of a huge Batman fan. don't know if you could tell that or not, I'm pretty subtle about it. if you spend any time in the Batman mythos, you know that this is a story where you just kind of have to take for granted that our hero is a billionaire using his vast wealth to dispatch vigilante justice with military grade weaponry and a small army of child soldiers and cop friends to help him put people in prison. these are moral quandaries that are discussed and acknowledged within the story, but fundamentally the universe is always going to involve billionaire vigilantism and child soldiers and the so-called carceral justice system. that's just the price of admission if you're gonna read Batman.

and like. I spend a lot of time in that world. I love Batman, I love his child soldiers. he's my little blorbo or whatever. but like, at no point have I said "yeah, fuck it, preteens should be learning martial arts to fight domestic terrorists, actually. I think Elon Musk SHOULD be allowed to put on a fursuit and beat up criminals. cops need more funding." no amount of Batman comics can make me believe or act on any of those things because, you know, I'm a person with a brain and I know the difference between "thing that makes a good story" and "thing that should actually happen for real."

and the thing is that genuinely, honestly, if someone thought that it was a red flag that I like Batman, and that enjoying Batman comics was somehow a red flag indicating that I'm fine with violence being done against real, actual children? I would think that person was a nut, if I can be super real. like, I'm thinking about somebody trying to make the case that I shouldn't be allowed to hang out with my nephew because I enjoy the fictional character of Robin so clearly I'm going to kill my nephew's parents in front of him to try to get him into vigilante justice. or if someone attempted to bar me from teaching my 4th-6th grade sex ed classes on the grounds that I was obviously going to teach them to do karate to clowns instead of how their reproductive systems worked.

(although, lets be real, there are a lot of politicians who would MUCH rather let little kids cage fight each other than learn anything about safer sex.)

this doesn't just apply to morally bad things, either, btw. I also read a lot of romance novels, especially hetero romances. and the thing is, not one of those books has made me want to fall in love with a ruggedly handsome but condescending straight man. hell, none of them have made me want to fall in love with anybody, period. that's not really something I'm interested in for myself, it's just a fun and frequently funny dynamic to explore. I'm hardly the first queer person to point out that the allegations that queer media "turns kids gay/trans" is obviously bullshit since the vertible mountain of cishet media evidently failed to turn any of us straight/cis, you know?

my point being: no, I genuinely don't think it's often, if ever, reasonable to judge someone's actual, real life morals by how they interact with fiction.

I'm going to say something so vulnerable right now, because we're in a safe space here: since you asked me this very reasonable question, you evidently value my judgment and perspective at least a little bit. and I once read and thoroughly enjoyed a fic in which Dr. Horrible, from Dr. Horrible's Sing-Along Blog, gets fucked by a sapient evil horse. and I don't think that makes me a morally reprehensible person, or a person who advocates for real human beings having real sex with real horses. I think it just makes me kind of a weirdo with a bullshit tolerance.

if you want to hear a MUCH more thorough take on this, complete with addressing the issue of shipping fictional children, I cannot recommend Princess Weekes' video essay enough:

[jbhemlock]

Yet putting industry in space could give us a Star Trek future. Mining asteroids and in-space manufacturing could give everyone on the planet access to the same resources as the richest of us. Space-based solar power satellites could give everyone on the planet access to the same standard of living as the richest of us.

Yes, the billionaires certainly don't have this in mind. But it's up to the rest of us to make it happen regardless.

Remember Past Tense, from Star Trek Deep Space Nine. People there were in much the same position that we are today, with the richest of us living in luxury and the rest of us struggling to survive. In the timeline of that story, they don't gain the Star Trek future because the rich bastards decide to give it to them. They gain it because everyone decides that they won't let the rich bastards deny them it.