jeremykillswitch

[jeremykillswitch]

Today is a special day for Emo kind. Gerard just took his first steps! Completely skipped over the crawling stage, straight up on his feet!

[jeremykillswitch]

So beautiful. Truly a great example as to how Emo improves everything.

day 8: snail rat

[jeremykillswitch]

Think I will stay secured to the wall. Each passing moment makes me hate God even more for his decision to provide me with such an existence, thus bringing me closer to the Dark Lord Lucifer. But thank you for the offer, it's very Emo of you 🔥

Life Update:

Not only have I been giving Sob the silent treatment, but I have also been given Life itself through silent treatment.

I confronted Sob, and he told me that he would never lie to me and that there really was a fire at the Monster Factory. Of course I immediately believed him, and in my joy texted Lurcher about how perfect and Emo Sob is.

All was well

-until Lurcher bought me a Monster as proof that the factory did not go up in flames, WITH the receipt to prove it wasn't just a Monster he'd had in his fridge for months.

So in my fury, I first gave Sob the silent treatment before moving on to Life itself (because Life made me a light switch that can't move which was not very Emo of it).

I have since somewhat forgiven Life, as Life is shitty to everyone. But not Sob.

The only thing Sob could do to earn my forgiveness now is to serenade me with a personalised ballad.

An Emo ballad.

[jeremykillswitch]

Exquisite.

Imagine an Emo snat. Now that would be revolutionary.

day 8: snail rat

[jeremykillswitch]

Life Update:

Not only have I been giving Sob the silent treatment, but I have also been given Life itself through silent treatment.

I confronted Sob, and he told me that he would never lie to me and that there really was a fire at the Monster Factory. Of course I immediately believed him, and in my joy texted Lurcher about how perfect and Emo Sob is.

All was well

-until Lurcher bought me a Monster as proof that the factory did not go up in flames, WITH the receipt to prove it wasn't just a Monster he'd had in his fridge for months.

So in my fury, I first gave Sob the silent treatment before moving on to Life itself (because Life made me a light switch that can't move which was not very Emo of it).

I have since somewhat forgiven Life, as Life is shitty to everyone. But not Sob.

The only thing Sob could do to earn my forgiveness now is to serenade me with a personalised ballad.

An Emo ballad.

[jeremykillswitch]

What's up girliepops I am THIS CLOSE to taking a vow of celibacy.

[jeremykillswitch]

Sorry for the silence, things haven't been very Emo lately. More life updates coming soon.

[jeremykillswitch]

For the 40% of you who voted "I must interact more with tinfoil before I have the right to an opinion on it", get out there and buy some tinfoil.

[jeremykillswitch]

Currently experiencing a very Emo hangover.

[jeremykillswitch]

Alixxx is a TRAIROR!!!!

SHe smoke without me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[jeremykillswitch]

Sob brought me vodka... fuvk u Alixxx Im drunk now that netter than nictotine!!!!!

[jeremykillswitch]

ALIXXX IS CURRENTLY SMOKING WITHOUT ME

[jeremykillswitch]

After hours of extensive googling, I can confirm there is no coverage of any Monster factory fires.

Perhaps an elaborate cover-up is at play here.... so the masses don't panic when they realise this will lead to a Monster shortage....

[jeremykillswitch]

What????? But why would Sob lie to me???

And, what is love anyway if not completely taking someone's words at face value and never questioning what they say?

Still, I will have to investigate this, if only to put my mind to rest when the facts reassure me that Sob would NEVER lie to me.

NEVER

Sob couldn't get me a Monster because apparently the Monster factory caught fire due to a new ingredient being highly flammable :(((

My dark and Emo heart throbs at the thought that he went against all his morals to acquire one for me, his beloved.

Even though he was informed of the factory tradgedy by every convenience store owner he spoke to, he says he didn't give up until he had tried every store within a 50km radius.

This is what true Emo devotion looks like. I want to have his babies.

[jeremykillswitch]

Alixxx has agreed that Lurcher can organise another party at our place after the relationship contract signing ceremony in celebration.

She also feels left out that she did not get to experience the instant noodle filled bathtub, so we will be recreating that to start things off.

[jeremykillswitch]

I have finally put things right. I can now sleep easy, knowing I have made up for my past mistakes (not that I regret them tho lol 🔥)

Apology Poem 4 Alixxx:

Treasured friend, advisor, Emo,

Oh how I have wronged you so

I stole your man (sort-of its complicated)

And I know my name you must want to damn

But listen to my plea, I pray

And please believe me when I say

I'm sorry and want to put things right

Let us cease right now our fight

and when I birth our first child (metaphorically)

Our choice of name shall surely leave you beguiled

One that will lead them to adoration, worship, fame

After you, Alixxx, they shall be named.

[jeremykillswitch]

Apology Poem 4 Alixxx:

Treasured friend, advisor, Emo,

Oh how I have wronged you so

I stole your man (sort-of its complicated)

And I know my name you must want to damn

But listen to my plea, I pray

And please believe me when I say

I'm sorry and want to put things right

Let us cease right now our fight

and when I birth our first child (metaphorically)

Our choice of name shall surely leave you beguiled

One that will lead them to adoration, worship, fame

After you, Alixxx, they shall be named.