juliannawrites-blog - Tumblr blog

[juliannawrites-blog]

sometimes people choose to be sad because it’s hard to be happy when you’re so filled with pain

sometimes i choose to be happy because people don’t like frowning and people are important

sometimes i wonder if it is all my fault i don’t want it to be so i hope its not

sometimes i wonder if you’ll come around the smiles you gave me I think maybe it will

[juliannawrites-blog]

i hate you

for showing me what love was

because now

nothing else matches up

and i don't believe in fair

not anymore

[juliannawrites-blog]

wallflower:

beautiful smart powerful wonderful

inexplicably insistently incredibly

more beautiful than those who no longer see that she is there smarter than those that built her walls so tall and so bound together more powerful than those who speak for her as if she were silenced forever more wonder in a fraction of her brain because she sees everything you miss

everything you so inexplicably insistently incredibly believe does not exist

[juliannawrites-blog]

gardening is hard

I’m tired of cultivating things that don’t want to grow as if no one were dependent on their seed and their fruit

they’re selfish and greedy rotten and wreathing

sunlight can’t help them they can’t see the light I’ve tried shining brightly through all of their darkness

light doesn’t last forever it’s a precious resource you can’t leave the light on you can’t blow out the fire

they’ll be ok I’ve left them alone now they can go do as they please hopefully happier without me I want them to stand tall…

I can no longer suffer and cry if they just want to fall

[juliannawrites-blog]

I can’t hear you today

I hope you’re not lost Please come back soon I’m scared without you

You’re really nice to me It’d be sad to see you go You’re kind and sweet It’d be sad to see you go

I can’t hear you today Over the rain I’ve never seen your face I think you’d be better than they

You’re smaller and wider And brighter all over They’re stronger and wiser And more than I’ve ever

I just want to hear you Just one last time I need you, I need you Take me back in time

I won’t see you today Or ever, forever But I’ll keep you up here Even as they take over

[juliannawrites-blog]

the sky is blue gray today

lights fell from the ceiling in every room my beats fluttered near them tapping and tapping on the ground streaming with alarm 

a part of me missed the calm a piece of me radiated a pretty kind of melody

I can’t stop to catch up I just keep running and jumping up and down and forgetting the sky is blue-gray today even if my heart is yelling pink and black and yellow

our lives are never fleeting colors are always fading tap a little louder today 

near my heart  hear it play

[juliannawrites-blog]

wave

the damp sand beneath my toes my hair blowing away as quick as my fear the specks of white in the dark were ever so prominent yet they still managed to get lost in my desperate existence

lines unclear and blurred the fluttering of anxious chatter and the light of my favorite eve surrounding me; drifting with the wind fighting to catch my breath

the darkness entertained me its levels and intricate motions its vast perfection and mysterious circles of doubt consuming my every sense

my sight cold and damp my voice a broken love my hands numb becoming lost in myself unable to decipher my fears versus my joys

forced to partake in a false sense of joy focused on the light and the clear still knowing and holding the real beauty within the unknown; lying in a sea of blurred edges and imperfections

a dark winding path becomes a sea of light loss and frustration become clear and aware my wounds are open for all to see but amazingly the salt water manages to wipe them clean

[juliannawrites-blog]

i am a book

the pages bear more weight than the words that we read they hold something infinitely greater bound tightly together  echoing blatant catastrophes

never believe in what you see its a purple sea of doubt and disbelief  trust the extraordinary  contemplate the known breathe in your madness until your liquid at your core become the beauty that is the earth let it transcend into you

read the book again read the lines you tripped over read the bleeding bound that has fallen apart  feel the thin crinkled paper in your hands take in the smell of an old book that feels as if its withered away in your very hands release

line it up rows and rows and rows on end more and more and more words and words disappearing  till there's none left

[juliannawrites-blog]

unknowing

Theres something beautiful about it

Something almost inherently artistic

That gets you to lay low and swing deep

With the innocence we don’t know and can’t reach

The divinity is incomprehensible

amazing

impossible

but tangible

it cant hurt us

it cant help us

and its quiet like the sea

and the part of our breaths that guide us to sleep

its in everything

[juliannawrites-blog]

[juliannawrites-blog]

we live in a picture

we live in a picture…

in an idea that consistently manages

to be greater than itself

and deeper than a sonorous of emotions

merging to give us

an inexplicably ethereal point of view

our world is c o n s t r u c t e d

  we create our own future                    

                                          above

                                 up

whether we shine              

with a luminescence brighter than the shining sun

or burn out

fade into the false existence

that is a life

of (solidarity) and a silent pain

suffer and whine

live and proclaim

who is who

you are you

break your glass ceilings

everybody doesn't exist

forgetting       what surrounds you

is your greatest fear

and the thing that makes you stronger

breathe…

deep…

open your eyes

look at what you love

remember what matters

then…        

begin

…paint the picture you want to live in

[juliannawrites-blog]

I am ugly, submerged in my own past, and my own madness.

Anne Sexton, from “For the Year of the Insane” featured in  The Complete Poems: Anne Sexton (via watchoutforintellect)

[juliannawrites-blog]

[juliannawrites-blog]

i am a lost boy in neverland- Ruth B.

[juliannawrites-blog]

i miss you

the way you used to smile and laugh and sway effortlessley with confidence the way you'd greet the sun and a bowl of chocolate you were smart conscious you took your heart and you learned from it your emotions entirely intact crystaline clear they were perfecr you knew how to feel things without losing control of how you were feeling the way you could shake things off the way you could forget the way things didn't affect you detached floating in free air far away from the dark i hate you for being perfect i miss the way you could down a pint of ice cream the way you could swing and play and scream with all your joy and might i miss the way you used to smile

[juliannawrites-blog]

a world for you and me

one day ill be able to say goodbye to walk away and learn to not cry ill learn to live in a world where im not hanging to your wrist walking free smiling i can say goodbye you hold on you yell at me make me feel like i dont belong promise me that nobody else would dare ever be there for me yet i smile i laugh i skip away and say a world for you and me is a world where we are both far far away or one where we never even meet

[juliannawrites-blog]

i love you

i love you 

for hurting me the best you could

because now

after all that pain I’ve felt

nothing else hurts