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[jyagainn]

“english isn’t my first language” U CRAZY

❆ winter - sunoo oneshot

word count: 1.7k | genre: angst, some fluff | sunoo x male!reader

✮⊹ ࣪ ˖ ‘ Seriously? ‘ I thought to myself. 

I sit up from bed, take a peek by the window, and sigh. I watched the snowflakes slowly fall from the foggy sky, piling up with the snow that was covering the ground like a blanket. 

I despise this gloomy and crispy weather. 

I had school today, so I had to force my freezing self to get up from bed and get ready for school. For fuck’s sake, I wish I was back in my hometown. My hometown was where I could feel the warm embrace of the summer, where I could see the kids chase each other at the beach, leaving footprints on the sand, and where I could see the sun celebrate and shine with the color of yellow. 

I finished brushing my teeth as I wiped my mouth, and then my face. I changed into my uniform as always and grabbed my bag that was hanging by my door. I couldn’t wait to go to school to see… him. 

– SCHOOL –

I open the door going to my classroom, and I’m greeted by my only friend who was hurdled up around my chair, how ridiculous. I love him for it.

“Took you long enough, Rain..” Sunoo scoffs.

I love it when you call my name.

“Oh shut up.” I smile “It’s snowing outside, and I hate it..” “You always seem to hate the snow. It’s the best season!” she chuckles after saying so.

When he did, I wanted to stop time just to see that smile. His name matched who he was. That’s how I described the summer. His smile was my sun. His presence is a warm embrace. Memories with him feel like footprints on the sand. I love you, Sunoo.

“Earth to Rain?” he flicks my forehead. I didn’t even realize I was dozing off like that.

“Right, right.” I look at the whiteboard, slightly embarrassed.

“We should go out later since it’s snowing. We should have a snow fight then go ice skating… maybe the park too?” He leans a bit closer with that smile.

How could I say no to that?“Fine,” I mumble. 

Talking with you made me realize I can never say no to you.

The teacher enters the room, and class begins. And now, I’m stuck in a wave of thoughts.

I’ve been carrying this fondness for him for as long as I can remember. And when I’m about to confess, something always stops me from doing so. When I look at his eyes, I see a reflection of myself and I look like an idiot. I’m a grumpy person. I wasn’t like the shiny and joyous person he was.

But I swear I will confess today. I won’t hold back, even if it means crying in front of you. 

The uneventful day at school ends. Finally - 

We walk out of the class alongside each other.

“Finally. I swear, one more word from Sir and I was going throw my desk at him…” I comment. I never even liked any of the teachers here at all.

“You’re so stubborn, Rain.” Sunoo pouts as we leave the school building. Thank god we weren’t assigned to clean the classroom..

I immediately change my face to a smug one. I hate this snow, really… It’s insufferable. I’m just not used to this. Sunoo, please change my mind after we hang out together.

We arrived at some place full of snow, kids were running around, even chasing each other.

How cute.

This scene reminds me of when I could watch the kids run after their friends by the beach. It was something I wanted to engrave in my mind since I wouldn’t be able to have that same feeling ever again. I miss my warm home. I feel nostalgic.

Sunoo suddenly grabs my wrist and runs through the snow with me behind him. He was laughing, and his eyes were smiling too. Even your eyes could smile, Sunoo.

“C'mon, don’t be such a party pooper and make a damn snowball.” He teases, as he forms a snowball in his hands

Oh shit.

Sunoo throws the snowball right at my face…“AH– ARE YOU FUCKING–” I get cut off by another snowball from Sunoo

“LANGUAGE, THERE’S KIDS!” Sunoo laughs, he runs in another direction, hiding behind a pile of snow

My eyes get irritated. Okay Sunoo, if that’s how you want to play it. 

I scoop some snow, and I try to make the biggest snowball that I can make with my bare hands. I hurriedly look for you amid the fog. Seriously?

I could hear you and some kids laughing, as another snowball was thrown at me by the legs. I quickly throw the snowball back at him.

I run to you, “Dammit, Sunoo... You’re so childish” I jokingly remark. The kids run away, laughing and chasing eachother as usual. I don’t even know who they are, but I assume you were friends with them. I kneel to you with my knees dug through the snow. He laughs harder, followed by my laugh. 

I didn’t want to stop laughing with you because I felt so content in this moment. I love this memory with you, so I’ll keep my heart open for it. I think I’m falling for you even more, I’m sorry.

I stand up and grab your arm, “Get up, you energetic thing.” I scoff after saying so.

He gets up, with a smile again. He really was a ray of sunshine. A smile tugs at the corner of my lips at the sight of you.

Snowball fighting with you made me realize how much I wanted to lay next to you every day.

“Okay, next stop! Ice skating!” He says with his hands on his hips. He looked like a superhero in that stance. Yes, you are my hero, Sunoo. 

We stopped by the Ice Skating rink, there were professional ice skaters and I felt so intimidated by it.. They were so flawless and perfect with it, so elegant. Like a swan. 

He enters the rink, with a polar bear for support. The struggle was visible… this will be a problem for both of us. 

“Well..” He mumbles

“Well?” I scoff as the white breath comes out of my mouth.

“Just hold on to that polar bear, sucker.” I chuckle after. “I paid extra for that, you know?”

“You’re so mean!” He lightly hits my shoulder with his one hand

“Fine, fine. Hold me, and we’ll ice skate away.” I slightly smile

He puts himself behind me, as he lays his hands on the back of my shoulders, supporting himself. Can we stay like this forever? 

“Go!” He says. I slowly skate, if I went any faster, both of us would fall.

“Why are you so slow…” He says in a ‘i-need-princess-treatment’ tone. 

“Don’t be sassy. You’ll fall if we go any faster.” 

“Go quick!” He says in a cocky tone “We won’t fall, trust!” He laughs

“I swear…” I say in a teasing yet irritated voice 

I went quickly, and we actually didn’t fall. This is so ridiculous but… I didn’t care. Atleast I was being ridiculous with you right now. I felt the breeze on my face, I could feel my face becoming numb as I kept skating. 

  I feel infinite, Sunoo.“I feel infinite, Sunoo.” I said that out loud.

..

“I feel infinite with you too, Rain.” He said followed by the sweetest laugh I’ve ever heard.

Suddenly, I don’t regret saying that out loud. I always felt like I could tell you everything without a filter and you’d still have something to say. And at this moment, Sunoo, I want to spend all of my seasons with you whether it be the season I hate most.

The guy who was in charge of the rink said our time was over. Sigh.

“That was pretty fun.” I scoff“That’s my first time hearing you say anything was fun… I’m astonished.” He teases

I roll my eyes, “Yeah okay, you make it sound like I don’t feel emotions.” I say as we both remove our ice skates and go back to our school shoes. “Can we just go to the park already?  I feel like I’m about to get a frostbite.”

Skating with you made me realize that I wanted you to hold me and that I wanted to feel infinite with you.

- PARK -

We sit on the bench together, it was already night time so it was extra cold.. I couldn’t feel my face. I couldn’t feel my hands either. 

The white blanket of snow piles up even more and the snowflakes fall elegantly as I watch you look up at the stars.

Time stopped for a bit. You were as soft as a melody, as bright as the sun rays, as lovely as the spring that arrives before the winter, and as warm as the summer beach I spent my days in. Honestly, I didn’t know it was this hard to tell you how I feel. I thought I could just say it. 

Looking at you at this moment made me realize I will love winter because I get to spend it with you. 

“The stars are beautiful tonight, Rain.” He continues to look up at the perfectly dark blue sky, his pink hair flawlessly falling.

“I agree.” I keep your face in the frame of my eyes. 

I want to live the rest of my life with you. I want to have snowball fights with you again. I want to ice skate with you holding onto my shoulders again. I want to sit next to you in school every day. I want to wake up to your voice. I want to look out the window and see you waiting for me just to walk together to school. Sunoo, “I love you.”

I said it out loud.

He looks at me.

Don’t look at me like that, Sunoo. 

It was silent.

“I don’t love you like that.” His smile slowly fades, he stands up.

5 minutes.

Please, lord. 5 more minutes.

Maybe in 5 minutes, you’ll change your mind.

Maybe in 5 minutes, you’ll love me.

Maybe in 5 minutes, you’ll catch me in a warm embrace.

Sunoo looks at me like it is the final time.

When did it feel this awkward?‘Ahem’ Sunoo lets out.

“I.. don’t really know what to say. I don’t love you. We’re just friends and.. you’re a boy. Goodnight.”

I watch you walk away from me. Not even a smile. In fact, it was a look of disgust.

I don’t know what to do.

I hate winter.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------ heeyyy, this is my first oneshot and I hope it meets the people's expectations. English isn't my first language, but I would love to write more stories in that language ^_^ thank you for taking the time to read this, give me more recommendations or ideaaasss!!

[jyagainn]

guys i reallly REEAAAALLLLYYYYY wanna write angsty fanfic but i don’t really knwo which fandom… like im in 29382838 fandoms 😭😭

[jyagainn]

did i drive you away?

[jyagainn]

i don’t want to go home i just want to be with my friends again

[jyagainn]

if someone asked me what being happy feels like i’d show them you

[jyagainn]

oh my god stop making love so complex bcs of social media what the fuck is a 3 month rule? love is supposed to be fun

[jyagainn]

WOOOO GEORGE RUSSELLLL WIIINNN

[jyagainn]

IS IT CASSUUAAALL NOOWW 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

[jyagainn]

i got 50 pulls so far….. I WANT A FATUI HARBINGER OR VENTI ATLEAST PLZLZ

[jyagainn]

goodnight i’m gonna think about how we could’ve had it if you just tried for me

[jyagainn]

monika: *poem about the bittersweet disassociation from everything you once knew*

sayori: *poem about the struggle of maintaining a facade that matches what the outside world wishes, even in the face of your mental health being clouded enough to be unable to see through it to a point where even getting out of bed is a mountain to overcome*

yuri: *poem about clinging onto the one last thing you have in society as everything else falls apart and is crumbled through time*

natsuki: *poem about the despair of being utterly powerless in the world despite your own efforts to overcome what you're left with*

mc: hey look sayori look Sunshine Depression Rainclouds Spinning Hop Blossom Awesome

[jyagainn]

I heard fontaine archon quest was sad like how sad like cry sad or like frown sad

[jyagainn]

it’s been a while!! i’ve been inactive for what like just a week? 😭 anyways, i’ve been playing genshin for 4 days, atleast I came back to it. I just finish Sumeru Archon quest, now I’m preparing myself for the Fontaine Archon quest 😋

[jyagainn]

i recently went back to genshin, FONTAINE IS GOORGEEEOEIAOAOAYSUAHSHSBDS

[jyagainn]

I RLLY CANNOT HANDLE WLW ANGST 😭😭😭✊🏼✊🏼 WTF

[jyagainn]

i played stardew for one day and cried over fishing.

[jyagainn]

"I wish I could've realised sooner that I loved you"

pairing: Sebastian X GN!Reader (no gendered terms used x)

summary: Just sebastian reflecting on his experience with the farmer and realising a little too late about his feelings for them

warnings: a little angsty but not really

A/N: first fic uploaded here! I saw the prompt on Pinterest "I wish I could've realised sooner that I loved you" and just wanted to write this so pls be nice or I'll bite x

He remembers the buzz that spread through Pelican Town about a new farmer coming to town. The excitement didn't grip him like it did the others. Instead, he just thought, 'Why the hell would anyone move to this shithole?'. But then came the day when you first crossed paths with him—or rather, when you sought him out, you sought everyone out, eager to make friends. You approached him with a bright look in your eye he couldn't reciprocate at the time. You asked questions, so many questions, though he didn't always bother with full answers. Yet, you didn't seem to mind, simply smiling in response.

In fact, you seemed to seek him out persistently, showing up wherever he happened to be. He couldn't help but wonder, 'Who the hell would want to hang out with me so much?' And hang around you did—always, it seemed. He had to give you credit for your persistence. It never occurred to him that you sought him out specifically, remembering every little detail he let slip during your conversations. Heck, he couldn't even recall half the things he shared with you. Conversation had never been his strong suit, especially not with someone new. It was just another trivial aspect of this mundane town.

And then, there were the gifts. Those moments when you'd approach him with that smile, hands hidden behind your back as you presented a small trinket, like a frozen tear he offhandedly mentioned he thought looked cool—a token of your affection. He didn't usually receive gifts, except from his mom or Sam on his birthday and Christmas. He never really cared for them either. It was a gesture that caught him off guard, and yet here you were, offering him one on a random day for no apparent reason. Little did he realize then how commonplace such acts would become, or how often you thought of him, or how much thought and care you put into each token you gave him, but he did always make sure to be careful when handling your gifts. And he had to admit, a small smile would tuck at the corners of his lips every time he looked at them, not knowing how much he would begin to treasure them. He had to admit, it was nice, you were nice.

You were an awfully good listener, and even better at making him talk, which was irritating. Given that you always talked to him, he supposed you rubbed off on him, it just seemed easier to talk about things with you. He wished he'd listened to those details more in the beginning, perhaps even given you gifts of the things you said you liked. It turned out he didn't mind listening to you; he actually enjoyed it. He remembers a lot of it, like how you wished you played the keyboard as well as him, and how he offered to teach you, light-heartedly but never did. He wished he did now.

He remembers how he got annoyed whenever you initially tried to talk to him, thinking you were just dragging on the conversation for the sake of it. That turned to confusion when you didn't let up, even after settling into town. He never thought those would turn out to be the favourite parts of the day, or that he would be the one seeking you out. He can't believe he used to be annoyed by it. Even worse, he can't believe how much he would miss it when you two would talk alone, at night, where he knew only you heard the things he told you. When he knew how much you heard him and saw him. How you always smiled and never laughed at him or judged him for wanting to leave this town or be alone.

Nobody saw him the way you did.

He noticed you smiled a lot. Who wouldn't, he thinks, with a smile like that? He doesn't know how he didn't realize it sooner, but seeing your smile so often left the image permanently scored in his brain. The corners of your eyes would crease, and you would tilt your head slightly. Such a stark contrast to him. Oh, he rarely smiled, not because he was sad, he just didn't find many things worth smiling for, which you often rolled your eyes at. He remembers how you called his smile nice and that he should do it more, but he didn't think he would. Oh no, he was not like you.

You smiled at everything, the little things and the big things and the things he found annoying. So much so, he even began to notice how you had so many different smiles. The one where you were happy, when you were excited, sarcastic, the big ones, the small ones, the forced ones, even when you were actually mad or sad or nervous. Even if it was just through your eyes, each subtly different, but he learned to notice. He had never noticed back then how the smile you showed him was different from the ones you gave everyone else. Until they weren't.

And he never thought the day would come when he wished you'd only smile for him

He never imagined you actually liked him. Yes you were nice, you were lovely, in fact, but you were like that with everyone. He never really paid much mind to the way you blushed when asking him to dance with you at the flower dance. That stupid dance Mayor Lewis insisted on having that bored him to tears. He remembers at the time thinking he would've wanted to dance with Abigail if he had to, but now he can't believe he said no to you. How could he have said no to you? He thinks he would not mind if you asked again, to dance with you.

In fact, he doesn't think he'd mind a lot of things now that you were here. He stopped feeling so sick of Pelican Town, for one. He thinks he could stay, maybe on your farm. And he visited much more than he ever thought he would.

But now he notices how the smile you give him now is different than before. A subtle difference, but he could never forget it now. Now you gave him the smile you gave everyone else, just now noting they were different - warmer.

He wanted to go back.

Now he notices how you don't actively track him down the way you used to, thinking he’d hear you knock on his door the way you always did, at the time you alwasy did, and he finds himself wanting to do the same to you.

He doesn't know if he's being dramatic at first, but when you don't ask him to dance with you at the flower dance, his heart sinks a little. He thought to ask you, perhaps, since you were friends now. Yes, you were friends now, one of his closest friends.

Oh, but then you asked Sam next to him, and you laughed, saying 'it would be fun.' And then his heart doesn't only sink but full on plummets to his stomach.

You're right, it would be fun, Sebastian thinks. But the feeling of watching you dance with somebody else made him want to throw up, and he didn't know why…

Until he did. He didn't want to admit it to himself, but he did. How embarrassing, he thinks - he wished he realised he had fallen for you sooner, before you fell out of love with him.