karacalsold-blog - Tumblr blog

[karacalsold-blog]

reblog if ur body dysmorphia stops u from attending any social situation that you can’t show up to wearing a hoodie 🤡

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Reblog if your pro recovery. Whether you’re in it or not

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Frankenstein, Mary Shelley

Alright, Keaton Henson

No Sound But The Wind, The Editors

Shadow and Bone, Leigh Bardugo

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Reblog if you actually give a shit about anyone who’s suicidal or depressed.

No one should scroll past this

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Reblog if:

- You support recovery.

- You support those in recovery.

- You support seeking help.

- You want  people to seek help.

- You think everyone is beautiful, regardless of their weight.

- Even if you yourself, aren’t seeking help or are in recovery, want others too.

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staying home from school today bc i’m sick... time to restrict haha

[karacalsold-blog]

Cold

I pull up my hair in a pointy tail.

A cool breeze hits my neck,

And I shudder at the wind’s hand caressing

As small bumps rise upon the tender of my skin.

I remind myself that I like the cold.

I walk down the street and catch a glimpse of myself in the near by window

Reflecting all my imperfections.

I quickly adjust my shorts, suddenly wishing that my skin wasn’t so visible

And I know that no one is looking

But you trained me so well to believe that all eyes are on me.

The cool feelings return

But I like the cold.

She stands there with glossy hair and slender long legs

She is everything that I am not,

And now I understand why you prefer her to myself.

Who wouldn’t want a girl that embodies sunshine and light.

I can picture the warmth she brings

And as I bask in her glow,

I am too quickly reminded that my hands will always be cold

I used to think that I liked the cold

I am too weak to finish my coffee.

I am so used to feeling empty

That when the hot liquid hits my stomach,

I remember how warm your hands were on my waist.

I tell myself that I enjoy the dizziness.

I wonder how it feels to be full of light,

As if my body could expand to fit all the happiness in my heart.

You used to tell me that you loved how cold I am

A “cooling oasis” to the heat radiating off your body.

You told me you liked the cold

You told me you liked me

You told me so many lies,

That now I can only repeat them back to myself over and over and over

I like the cold.

[karacalsold-blog]

Rant

This is just something I really need to talk about, and I’m sorry in advance if I offend anyone of make some controversial point. My thoughts are really messed up and disorganised here so bear with me... Don’t attack me please

Eating disorders, along with many other mental illnesses, are not treated seriously enough in society. There. I said it.

People recently have been spreading awareness about “mental health” and “mental illness” a lot online. It’s a good idea and I’m sure the intentions were nothing but positive, but this new “movement” has literally reduced mental illnesses to nothing but depression and anxiety.

Now, I understand that depression and anxiety are two of the most common mental illnesses out there so this assumption is logical and valid. However, this new label makes it impossible for me to talk about my struggles with my eating disorder (I can only focus on EDs as that’s my personal experience).

In a society where diet culture is normalised, there is a very thin line between disordered eating and clinical eating disorders. This makes it very easy for people with EDs to feel invalid. Not to mention the stereotypical image of the “underweight anorexic”.

People don’t know anything about actual mental illnesses and that’s the root of the issue. Focusing on EDs alone, I cannot tell my friends about how I feel/my fucked up relationship with food without them saying, after a pause, “so... you’re on a diet?”

I tried using the term “eating disorder” once and the response I received was disbelief and doubt after looking me up and down (I’m not underweight). Some even thought I was saying this for attention and simply ignored me. This only further convinced me that my problems were invalid, and that I was just a desperate girl on a diet looking for attention.

I would rather society have not started this entire talk about “mental health” because—to be honest—we weren’t ready for it. Everything online is based on what is “trendy” and “popular” at the moment, with no scientific evidence to back anything up. Mental health is talked about by EVERYONE and so many aspects of it is normalised... It hurts to see people genuinely suffering have their words drowned out by a sea of “positive quotes”.

Back to eating disorders. People only really know anorexia nervosa as “the” eating disorder. Other issues like bulimia or binge-eating are ignored. Even society’s expectations of anorexics is extremely limiting. This ignorance and misunderstanding causes a large amount of people to feel invalid and thus not receive the help and treatment they evidently deserve.

We all suffer from something. In some cases, people genuinely have mental illnesses—while others may be going through a tough time. Either way, society’s intense focus on “mental health” without enough actual knowledge is misleading and harmful for those with actual mental illnesses.

That was really messy but, I hope you get what I mean. Just needed to vent. Thanks for coming to my TED talk

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Nobody likes you when you’re depressed. That’s just real. Y’all can sit here and try to tweet sympathetic shit about mental health but in reality, depressed people get categorized with negativity/toxicity and just drown in their own shit because people don’t wanna deal with it.

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Tbh I can’t tell if this is disordered eating, an eating disorder, or if I’m dieting and just being dramatic.

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I would say it’s body dysmorphia, but I’m actually just fat.

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Realising you don’t have to tell anyone anything about yourself or your life is.. a very liberating feeling.  Realising you can tell the trees and the rivers and the lakes and the mountains instead? Even more so.

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i hate that i’m so absent as a person. i don’t start conversations. i can barely maintain them. i’m so weary and spaced out all the time to the point where i can’t even keep up small talk and i’m just so disappointed in myself

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the fact that people can see me makes me kinda uncomfortable not gonna lie

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my truth about my ed

this might not apply to everyone

but having an ed makes me feel so good

i finally feel like i have control over something in my life

i’ve spent so long being depressed

and for the first time in a long time, i feel genuinely happy

and it feels really good

and on the days i don’t feel good

when i look at my body and all i can see is fat

i know it’ll be okay, cause one day i’ll reach my ugw and everything will be okay

[karacalsold-blog]

i have abs

a- a

b- big

s- stomach