kismetnama

[kismetnama]

[kismetnama]

“Mother tongues, like any other first love, are very hard to forget. They are loyal and forgiving. Even when our speech shrivels and our writing is plagued with errors. Even when our native letters appear foreign and our native sounds ring forsaken. After all, our mother tongues raised us. They knew us when we didn’t know ourselves. They watched us learn to speak, to write, to reason. They taught us to love and to grieve. They showed us the rules and the exceptions. They know they’ll echo within our walls long after we become guests in our own homes: from the way we will combine the new words, to the way we will whisper the old prayers.”

— Marianna Pogosyan, “Why learning a new language is like an illicit love affair” (via malavermelha)

[kismetnama]

playlists (desi)

making playlists has been my favourite hobby recently and here are some of them

edit: the link were broken so I have updated them. hopefully they are accessible now.

tender hindi - soft, gossamery songs

indian miniature painting - oh to be dancing on the banks of yamuna, bacchanal in the forest, holding lilypads, with the deer and peacocks as the moon rises on the horizon

hitchhiking a truck / charpai in courtyard - folk vibes

a civilization beyond indus - ancient and medieval kingdom vibes

desi academia - chai aur kavitaen

with her past midnight in the delhi city-lights - "i fell in love the way you fall asleep: slowly, and then all at once.“ but it’s in the amber streetlights of the back alleys/balcony of a big city. [hindi+english]

tender hindi songs of night - in memory of those summer twilights when there’d be a powercut and the whole family would sit on the porch with handfans, telling each other stories

dil me jhula sa laga hai - songs about self-love and life 

existential hindi - songs with existentialist lyrics

[kismetnama]

What are some great books written on the Partition of India?

Partition: The Long Shadow edited by Urvashi Butalia: it’s a collection of essays on different areas of the Partition; looks into art, culture, identity, along with the politics of it

The Other Side of Silence by Urvashi Butalia: a social history; brings the stories of people to the fore; takes into account the oral and personal histories associated with the Partition to study how it impacted women, children, and old people; also about how the disruption altered caste and gender dynamics in the subcontinent

Guilty Men of India’s Partition by Rammanohar Lohia: focuses primarily on the politics of it, and who made decisions and how they were made; Lohia was on a different side of the political spectrum so the book comes from there and it makes for an interesting read

Freedom at Midnight by Larry Collins: it’s largely about the buildup to and aftermath of August 14-15; focuses on the independence and Partition with its large-scale changes

Shameful Flight: The Last Years of the British Empire by Stanley Wolpert: about the end of British Empire in India and how it went so wrong; studies years between 1942 to 1948 in terms of their politics among the leaders - Churchill, Nehru, Mountbatten, Gandhi

Borders and Boundaries: How Women Experienced the Partition of India by Ritu Menon, Kamla Bhasin: another social history about women and how Partition impacted gender identities, security; on nationbuilding and citizenship, especially in relation to women’s rights; makes for really good reading

[kismetnama]

90 days to go | 100 DOP

Was I productive? Yes.

Did my productivity directly or indirectly relate to mu thesis work? I decline to answer.

In the last few days I managed to read metamorphosis my Franz Kafka, crochet granny squares for a scarf, tried some new recipes, binge watched crochet tutorials and Jack Edward's YouTube videos.

My thesis work you ask? I did find new readings for my literature review, have interviews coming up (my thesis is an Auto-ethnographic, qualitative research based) and attended my online classes.

Also instead of using the term 'day 10 update' I have decided to use the '90 days to go' approach for 100 dop. It makes me feel as if I am on a mission.

[kismetnama]

Day 3 and 4 | 100 DOP

So I finally submitted my first ever thesis chapter. Dreading the feedback from my mentor. I have a strong feeling that it will not he something that'll make me smile. Did some gardening. Just look at this pink little baby, that I managed to almost kill and my mom had to save it from me. Almost done with the conceptualization of my diy postcards and they will be on their way to new adventures soon!

[kismetnama]

Totally loving this dark academia filter on IG by brodbary!

Day2/100 ( thesis writing challenge)

As posted yesterday, I have hardly 100 days to defend my thesis and what other chance will I ever get to actually take up a 100 dop challenge and compete it? Because this time, I have no other option in sight:)

So here are the things that I would like to do today...

Mandatory list:

-Cite and edit my first ever chapter and send for review

- post my reflections and comments for my class

Optional ( though I'd prefer to do these over the above list) :

- buy watercolour papers

- crochet

- try out new styles for my postcards that I'll be sending through Postcrossing

.........

Also look at this carpet! Such a beauty! And also the cloth bound notebooks that were gifted to me 😍

[kismetnama]

Just realised that in the next 100 days I will be defending my thesis that I have only begun to write. I know that time was flying but I didn't expect it to go at the speed of light. If this gif doesn't represent what I am going through right now, I don't know what will.

This realisation certainly gave #100dop a whole new meaning guys... I am not sure how I'll make it to the end in one piece. Pray for my addicted-to-procrastination soul.

*goes to the corner and cries for the sake of procrastination*

[kismetnama]

Contemplating about submitting a handwritten 80 page-long thesis because at this point. Laptop is just a source of distraction and headaches due to long study-turned-into-binge-watching session.

[kismetnama]

Will my poor soul ever get over these two???

Dear Anne, Since we are parting ways, perhaps forever, I feel I must unburden my heart. You are the fond object of my affection and my desire, you and you alone are the keeper of the key to my heart. Please, don’t be alarmed, I don’t expect your favor, but I can’t in good conscience not reveal myself. I’m not engaged, nor will I be, unless it’s to you Anne, my Anne with an E. It always has been and always will be you. 

With love, Gilbert. 

P. S. Thanks for the pen. Good luck at Queens.

[kismetnama]

Image of Queen Nefertari

Detail of a mural depicts Queen Nefertari Meritmut, the first of the Great Royal Wives of Ramesses II. Nefertari’s face is rendered with shading to add depth to the figure, an unusual practice in Egyptian paintings. Tomb of Nefertari (QV66), Valley of the Queens, West Thebes.

[kismetnama]

As you grow older, you’ll see white men cheat black men every day of your life, but let me tell you something and don’t you forget it—whenever a white man does that to a black man, no matter who he is, how rich he is, or how fine a family he comes from, that white man is trash

-Harper Lee-

[kismetnama]

Just putting out there for anyone who needs to read this

Suicide Is Never The Answer

But sometimes, it sounds like such a good idea.

If you, right now, are feeling like that’s a good idea.

Call someone. A helpline, your best friend, your family, anyone.

If you, for some reason, have no one to turn to.

Turn to this blog- or any blog that reblogs this. 

I’d be happy to stay up all night on a Skype call with you till you know that someone cares.

I may not know you yet but friend- I care.

Don’t commit suicide- explain your situation to someone else <3

[kismetnama]

made some drawstring pouches a while ago and finally took some pics of em ＾＾

[kismetnama]

the desire to be able to read what the full text says vs the inherent sexiness of fragmentary poetry

[kismetnama]

Today I am dealing with a mess that's not me. Will I ever get out of it?

[kismetnama]

This is where I have been attending my online classes in the past few months. A perfect spot for focused work with random daydreaming. This has been my favorite spot to work on since I was 14. I am happy that as a graduate student, I am back to this specific spot to work on my research thesis.

All that's left to do is waking up at 5 to catch up on my work..but we all know that's not happening anytime soon.