kitzelos

[kitzelos]

quote from @kitzelos who's currently reading AFTG for the first time: "this was about sports, like, 10 minutes ago"

[kitzelos]

chapter 4 now

lacroix but violent?

ok coach man is nice ig (or at least has some basic decency compared to the others )

misread I thought Neil ate the sound of the vacuum and got real confused

"I'm not a math problem." "But I'll still solve you." - literally just kiss already

guys its time to stop being the worst and fly

he cant outrun his thoughts smh he needs to work on that endurance

reading aftg for the first time

my amazing girlfriend said he'd start watching apothecary diaries if I started reading all for the game, they said it would be funny to live post as I read so here i go

@gbirrd

[kitzelos]

onto chapter 3 gonna do one chapter per reblog unless there's something outrageous

they're already questioning his sexuality which fair enough

his response sounded like he's aroace

fox talent show lets go

the boys need more therapy then once a semester but whatever

wow fancy boy owning eight outfits/j

reading aftg for the first time

my amazing girlfriend said he'd start watching apothecary diaries if I started reading all for the game, they said it would be funny to live post as I read so here i go

@gbirrd

[kitzelos]

on chapter 2 now

he's literally just met Aaron and he keeps pointing an laughing at his height

Kevin is just a exy nepo baby right?

Andrew also has mummy issues

"How stupid, that someone so short could have such presence." he might be less angry if you stopped calling him short in your head

"Kevin will cry" I don't think he would that line T-T

I'm stopping for tonight before chapter 3 this book is crazy.

reading aftg for the first time

my amazing girlfriend said he'd start watching apothecary diaries if I started reading all for the game, they said it would be funny to live post as I read so here i go

@gbirrd

[kitzelos]

reblogging my rambles now

chapter 1 is 15 pages he's so dramatic omg I love him

also he has ginger energy idk why but when he checked his roots I fully expected bright redroots to be there

also the boy would hate having my hair I bleached it 5 days ago and you can already see the brown from my roots

I'm onto chapter 2 now!

reading aftg for the first time

my amazing girlfriend said he'd start watching apothecary diaries if I started reading all for the game, they said it would be funny to live post as I read so here i go

@gbirrd

[kitzelos]

STILL chapter one

NEIL HAS MORE DADDY ISSUES THEN ME

"prison couldn't stop his father for long, and Neil wouldn't survive a rematch" I mean know your strength I guess but I'm assuming your stronger now your not 10?

" only recruited athletes from broken homes" well Neil is your target demographic I guess

"You can't be here,"

"Yet here I stand,"

beautiful dialogue aaaaaaa

MUMMY ISSUES TOO - omg he's got it all

[kitzelos]

still chapter 1

my boy is so dramatic i love him

"millport had failed him" T^T boy calm down

EIGHT YEARS ON THE RUN???? what was he ten? little ten year old running away and not caught? I'm headcannon-ing the first name he chose was mickey mouse

[kitzelos]

first chapter

"Neil Josten let his cigarette burn to the filter without taking a drag. He didn't want the nicotine; he wanted the acrid smoke that reminded him of his mother" my first attempt reading this I couldn't get past this line I love it so much but wtf

also josten as a last name is funny to me for some reason

[kitzelos]

reading aftg for the first time

my amazing girlfriend said he'd start watching apothecary diaries if I started reading all for the game, they said it would be funny to live post as I read so here i go

@gbirrd

[kitzelos]

The Batcave has a “Do Not Talk To Me” couch. It’s sacred. It’s unspoken. It’s real.

okay so. picture this:

the batcave has one couch. it's in the corner. it’s hideous. it’s like beige or green or something equally offensive to every one of their aesthetics. no one likes the couch.

and that is exactly why it became sacred.

because one night jason just. drops onto it. full gear. bleeding. absolutely done with life. says nothing. doesn’t even take off the helmet. sits there in silence for 3 hours and then leaves.

next week tim uses it. sits there post-mission. face in hands. someone tries to ask if he’s okay and jason throws a batarang at them.

and thus it began.

Rules of the Do Not Talk To Me Couch:

You sit there? No one speaks to you.

You cry? No you didn’t.

You eat cold noodles off your chest at 4 a.m.? That’s sacred time.

If someone tries to comfort you? They are excommunicated for 12 hours.

Dick (sitting on the couch):

Damian: Grayson, are you—

Jason (from across the cave): HE’S ON THE COUCH.

Jason: I don’t make the rules.

Steph: You LITERALLY made the rules.

Jason: And I am the defender of the rules. There’s a difference.

one time damian storms in. covered in blood. absolutely furious. 10/10 rage goblin energy. throws his sword. marches to the couch. sits. arms crossed. steaming.

tim takes one look at him and goes: “i’m making tea.”

jason: “that’s acceptable. tea is allowed. talking is not.”

bonus:

once bruce sits on it.

and the ENTIRE CAVE goes silent.

tim literally freezes mid-typing. cass stops mid-flip. jason just mutters “oh shit.”

they all leave. immediately.

the couch is not ready for bruce.

extra bonus:

alfred vacuums around the couch. never says a word. leaves snacks in a silent offering. once placed a weighted blanket gently on jason’s shoulder. that’s different. he’s allowed.

[kitzelos]

i’m everywhere

[kitzelos]

Wip that I haven’t worked on since my uni project started in February but I’m done now so it’ll be worked on I swear

[kitzelos]

* Knowing that eventually a ghastling will be happy fills you with determination

These silly thangs made my week dude. I used to hate them but lowkey now I feel bad. Mojang giving out update bangers makes me happy.

[kitzelos]

Love it when tim don't tell people SHIT. 'tim tells nobody he has lost his spleen'? Weak sauce. I want Tim to be a complete and utter mystery just by accident.

I want tim to not tell anyone that Bruce is alive. He just vanishes after bruce dies. Nobody can find him. He just shows up months later like hey the LOA is in town protect these specific people. Also Bruce is alive and I know how to find him.

I want tim to be a cryptid within the batfamily. Enough of sad baby 'please be my family' tim. Let him become ungovernable. It's what canon Tim would want. He didn't invent a fake uncle because he thought Bruce didn't want him, he created a fake uncle because he didn't want bruce

[kitzelos]

Good parents Janet and Jack Drake put Tim through those child safety courses where they teach kids how to protect themselves in case someone tries to kidnap them.

The issue is that Tim is a feral little gremlin of a child with a very strong understanding of public personas and knows to keep his feralness behind closed doors or where no one can see him. So in front of all the parents and instructors Tim keeps letting himself be too easily shoved into this car because he’s out in public and he’s supposed to be polite.

Jacks not having it. He’s not about to have his son shown up by little Suzy with the blond curly pigtails who screams like a banshee and kicks hard enough to end family lines.

“Tim,” he says pulling his 6/7 year old son to the side. “If you can go the rest of this session without letting them shove you in that car once, I will buy you whatever camera you want.”

“Plus accessories?”

“Anything you want.” Tim smiles in that oh so familiar way that swore chaos upon you and your kin and from where she was sitting Janet sighs, sending a text to their lawyer.

The next round is a free for all. Tim is cussing them out in Russians, then french, then possibly ancient Egyptian? (“who taught him how to cuss like that?” Jack asks while Janet hides turns her head to hide her smile). He’s punching, kicking, and there’s definitely biting involved. Somehow Tim managed to twist his way onto the instructors shoulders and has him in a child sized chokehold.

Needless to say, Tim gets that camera and then some. The Drakes happily pay for the instructors medical bill (just a mild sprain and a dislocated shoulder) and thank them for teaching their son the importance of not being kidnapped.

There’s a standing agreement between Jack and his son. Every time Tim avoids being kidnapped he gets some kind of new camera something. It’s to a point where Tim has a reputation in Gotham among the underworld as unkidnappable (not that it stopped people from trying).

Of course over the years Tim’s parents stuck him in multiple martial arts classes (on Tim’s request. This boy wants those camera’s) so more times than less he knocks out his assailants, takes a selfie with their unconscious bodies, and sends proof of avoidance to his parents alongside a link to whatever equipment he wanted.

This is all well and good until Tim becomes Robin. It shows up…I want to say three times that really stand out. The first time is with Ivy. Tim’s been hit with something that leaves him somewhat disoriented, but he’d trained for this. He’ll be fine. Ain’t no rogue getting him to a secondary location no siree. So he goes full feral mode and manages to knock out Ivy. To which he immediate pulls out his phone, takes a selfie, and sends it to his parents with a link because it’s habit and he might be concussed.

Within 24hrs the Drakes are standing at Bruce’s door with questions and also that new Camera lens Tim requested. Tim is hiding his face in his hands completely embarrassed because he does not remember sending his parents the selfie of him posing in full Robin gear with an unconscious Ivy behind him, but here we are. (The Drakes expect regular injury reports and also hash out a deal for Tim to stay at the manor whenever they have to travel. Also Tim’s grades have to stay up and he’s not allowed out during finals).

The second time is probably with the joker. There’s an Arkham breakout and Joker escapes and does manage to get Tim. The Bats are out in full force looking for him when a message pings in their group chat. It’s a selfie of Tim, looking worse for wear with a somewhat foggy look in his eyes, but theirs a feral smile in his face and a probably unconscious and not dead joker in the background.

“Talk shit get hit.” He’d messaged followed by a ping of his exact coordinates.

The most recent and most memorable happened post time stream shenanigans. Ra’s is a little too obsessed with Tim and Tim is just a little too sleep deprived to play along with the pseudo immortals mind games. When asked Tim will admit to remembering nothing, but the proof is in the family chat.

“Get good.” Followed by a selfie of Tim hugging what was probably a mug of coffee but behind him were at least 4 ninja’s and Ra’s Al Ghul himself slumped unconscious looking like they’d been attacked by a wild animal.

“Also I’m on a boat in the middle of Gotham Harbor can someone come pick me up plsssssss.”

[kitzelos]

Bruce: we will continue to utilize the Batmobile, of course. But we needed an upgrade and we got one. Introducing-

Bruce [pause-for-dramatic-effect Wayne]: the Bat-tank

Dick:

Jason:

Tim:

Steph:

Cass:

Damian:

Duke: fine, I'll say it- that's just an armored minivan

Bruce: what? It's not-

Jason: It has sliding doors

Bruce: for efficiency and convenience-

Dick: i think it's neat! But... yeah, not really a tank

Steph: very spacious, yet very compact, very on brand for a mom with 6-9 kids

Bruce: it has all of the features and capabilities of the Batmobile-

Damian: Father, I for one admire your priority, practicality is far more important than being fashionable.

Bruce: i, wha- It very clearly has lasers and it's bullet-proof! How is that unfashionabl- I know my brand!

Tim: aww, enough cup holders for the whole family, very thoughtful, Bruce

Bruce: The Bat-tank WILL strike fear into the enemies of Gotham!

Jason: our enemies will see us speeding at 700mph and assume you're late to your kid's soccer game

Bruce: Okay! Okay, so we needed a family car, but this isn't-

Cass: Recital

Bruce: *gasp* OH, we're going to be late for Cass's dance recital, everyone in the van!

Dick: I thought it was a tank-

Bruce, glaring: Cass gets shotgun since she's the only one who respects the Bat-tank!

Cass: yes... very scary *pats Bruce's arm affectionately*

Bruce: Hurry up, everyone! Duke, the backseats unfold if you press the button underneath-

Duke: yeah I know how minivans work

Bruce: It's not-

Bruce:

Bruce: oh no.

Dick: there's the moment of realization we were waiting for

Bruce, whispering: It IS a minivan.

Tim: can we go to Bat Burger after this?

Damian: Seconded

Jason: yes thank fuck I'm starving

Dick: Language! Here, little D, you can sit by me

Steph: ugh, why do I have to sit in the middle?

Duke: this thing comes with chargers, right, Bruce?

Bruce: I'm... I'm a minivan mom.

Cass, smiling: Our minivan mom

[kitzelos]

Every time i draw shadow i make home dumber and dumber i love him so much