kosi-annec

[kosi-annec]

Just some observations I made about Megane's latest Rota Fortunae crumbs after going back to it over and over again (if you haven't read it yet, go check it out first). Maybe you'll already have noticed most of it, but hopefully not everything. Either way, I really just feel like rambling.

First of all, this is clearly set before their trip to Sunday's shelter. In fact, it's most likely the earliest part of the timeline we've had so far. It's noticeable through the fact Aven just got the glasses and doesn't appear to have the earring he has on his ref sheet and during the animation.

About the earring, if you look at this panel:

You'll notice that Human!Aven (let's call him that for now) has a peacock feathers earrings. It's not exactly the same Android!Aven has, but it's a similar style. Now, there's two conclusions you can make of that: either Android!Aven bought it himself because it fits his style and he most likely subconsciously remembers his past to an extent, or Ratio gave it to him because it reminded him of the one Human!Aven used to wear.

Now, onto this Human!Aven if you will, because how do I know he's human? It's somewhat easy to guess, but there are still some signs: first, his eyes. As an android, Aven's eyes become magenta and cyan when behind glasses, but here it's a reflection. It would seem his human appearance naturally had the Avgin eyes (if Avgins even exist in the Rota Fortunae lore). But there is a second sign that this Aven is human: his wrist.

If you look at this panel, you'll notice Aven's wrist has a joint (weirdly enough, there doesn't seem to be any joints on his elbow, but it's hard to see so maybe Megane just didn't feel like drawing it?) that isn't here on Human!Aven. Now, how did he go from being a human to being an android? We can only speculate on that, but the general guess seems to be that Aven died and Ratio transferred his consciousness in an android body. I love that theory, but only time (and Megane) can tell how right it is.

But I'm not done with my observations! Let's talk about Ratio! Though, I'll keep aside all the speculations about why he refuses to repair Aven himself. It's most likely out of guilt, but we can't know more than that for sure.

Just a silly little thing I noticed about him is that his hair curls when wet. It's such a small detail, but it's really adorable.

But what I mostly wanted to talk about is his tattoo (or whatever it is) because there's something really interesting about it. Let's take these two panels:

If you look closely at how far the tattoo reaches up his neck in the second image, you'll most likely notice that it doesn't appear to be there on the first image. Of course, maybe he just had it tattooed later, and it's a plausible explanation. But there's just something odd about the way Ratio uncovers that specific shoulder in that scene:

Maybe I'm just over interpreting. It's entirely possible. But the way he uncovers his tattooed shoulder like that kind of makes me think that it might be uncomfortable to keep covered. Kind of like when you have a healing scar and you don't like the sensation of the fabric rubbing against sensitive skin. In that case, maybe it's more than just a tattoo? Maybe it holds more meanings in relation to the Android rebellion? After all, there are some laurel symbols on the walls of wherever they are in that scene:

It's most likely linked to a faction such as the Intelligentsia Guild or the Genius Society (I'd lean more towards the former) as Megane suggested in the comments of that thread, but it's still interesting to note that tattoo wasn't there before the rebellion.

Now, a final observation about Aven and his eyes and it's that the brightness of his pupils seems to change depending on the situation:

Funnily enough, it appears to always brighten whenever he looks at Ratio (smitten much) at the exception of that one panel where he plays with Numby. This leads me to believe it might be some sort of emotional response (bright red eyes mean positive emotion and dark red eyes mean negative emotions. If I recall, the androids in the Rota Fortunae animation had dark red pupils) and it's just kind of cute to see how differently he looks at his Doctor.

Anyway, that's enough rambling for now (if only I could come up with that many words when I write my essays). I was supposed to be writing my fanfic's next chapter but I guess that won't be for tonight lmao. Of course, credit for all the images used in that small analysis goes to Megane. Go check out their work if you haven't already, it's definitely worth it.

Thanks for reading!

[kosi-annec]

the reason you, a white american, believe that white americans don't have culture is the same reason fish don't believe in water

[kosi-annec]

A few years ago while trying to find ways to commit suicide as painlessly as possible, I came across a PDF of Dr. Paul Quinnett's The Forever Decision. Thinking it might go into actual methods of suicide (I read an article once that actually did that and was trying to find it again) I started to read it, and I think I only got about two pages in before I was crying too much to actually see the words.

I downloaded the PDF to my hard drive and I open it again whenever I'm feeling too suicidal to do much else, but not enough to start booking a ride to the hospital. And every time without fail I only go up to a few pages before backing off and choosing to live another day just because suicide suddenly seems even more unbearable than whatever the hell upset me in the first place.

All the book really does is [I'm pulling a summary from GoodReads here as, again, I've read no more than 5 pages] "discusses the social aspects of suicide, the right to die, anger, loneliness, depression, stress, hopelessness, drug and alcohol abuse, the consequences of a suicide attempt, and how to get help."

But it also starts with the author kindly asking the reader to complete the book before going through with anything, and for some reason I'm compelled to really just try to read it all before finalizing everything. Despite not yet completing it (hopefully never will) I think I can safely say it's saved my life at least a few times now.

It's intentionally legal to copy and redistribute this book to keep it as accessible as possible, and it's very easy to find, but here's a link for it anyways.

[kosi-annec]

Congratulations to all AO3 users! Important Milestone reached!

Bookmark database overran!

[kosi-annec]

it was not on wheat...

[kosi-annec]

So a few days ago i snapped over being compared to lu one too many times, and in the heat of the moment i made a huge ass of myself over it. Im sorry that i did it. Not sorry over being frustrated. Im sorry to the people i lashed out at. We're all being creative and having fun, which is supposed to be the point and im not helping by being a butthead.

And there was mention of Gatekeeping and i dont want to gatekeep, i want the gate Open theres cool stuff in here. You dont have to hear about the stuff inside the park second hand!

[kosi-annec]

guys I've cracked the code

Ivan: "I can't live without you, but you can live without me."

Hyuna: "I can live without you, but you can't live without me."

Sua: "Neither of us could live without each other, but it was better for both of us that it was me."

[kosi-annec]

could toby fox put all the undertale characters on art fight. is he allowed

[kosi-annec]

I'm tired.. I've been trying to reach people to help me with my campaign for 3 days now.. There's no more flour in our house.. I have 4 children and my wife. If anyone would like to help us..

The other solution is to go to the death traps, the American-Israeli aid distribution centers, and I might return or die. Even now my children cry when I tell them about this. They are afraid that I will die and not return to them.

I know my campaign is for education and rent but I can't even afford to buy food anymore.

This is our campaign.

[kosi-annec]

Every time I think the devs have pushed the Phaidei envelop as far as Hoyo is willing to go, they surprise me once again.

Back at the beginning of 3.1, I publicly questioned whether what we were seeing was just Hoyo-typical yaoi bait for that sweet fan money, or whether we might actually be seeing deliberate coding of a pair of major male characters in a significantly more centralized way than previously done.

Despite the fact that Hoyo has been very consistent in their ship tease for Phaidei, the question of whether or not they actually intended Phainon in particular to be read as a gay character was still up in the air. It's one thing to have male characters dropping slightly sus innuendo for laughs and low-hanging fan service, or to make a male character flamboyant without actually committing to showing him in any close same-gender relationships... but it is another thing entirely to imply that a male character wants a committed queer relationship, and even through 3.3, although Hoyo was certainly pushing the boundary hard, I think a case could still have been made that the devs' primary goal with Phainon and Mydei ship tease was little more than wink-wink-nudge-nudge service for the yaoi fans to push the sales of male units in an otherwise waifu-oriented game.

But I think this trailer might finally be the answer to the question I originally asked, and it has laid some of my last doubts to rest: No matter where things go with Phainon in 3.4 and beyond, at this point I am willing to give Hoyo the benefit of the doubt and say, yes, players are supposed to read Phainon as a queer character (whether you interpret him as bisexual, strictly gay, or some other variation of mlm is free game)--and, importantly--to understand that his relationship with Mydei is not just an ancillary bonus for fans but central to Phainon's own sense of self-identity.

The key is in remembering that nothing happens in media by accident. Every single frame of Phainon's trailer was scripted, and therefore every frame shown after the question "What is your dream?" was deliberately chosen to convey a specific message.

In answering the question "What is Phainon of Aedes Elysiae's dream?" the dev team had several clear, obvious, and perfectly understandable options:

We could have seen Phainon mentally rewind the time and return to his idyllic childhood in Aedes Elysiae. We could have seen him reunited with his parents and, more importantly, Cyrene (who was conspicuously absent from the entire trailer). Over and over, the game has told us that Phainon loved his home, loved his people, and loved the peace that he used to have, so absolutely no player would have questioned it if "Phainon's dream" was to return to the paradise of the childhood he used to know.

But the devs didn't do that.

The power of friendship and found family could have been emphasized by showing quick flashes of Phainon with each one of the Chrysos Heirs: We could have seen Aglaea helping him pick clothes, seen Tribbie, Trianne, and Trinnon playing with Phainon and chimeras in the Garden of Life, glimpsed Phainon getting scolded by Anaxa at the Grove with Hyacine and Castorice cheering him up, could have seen Cipher tricking him into buying a worthless relic dressed up as a real antique, and then we could have seen him sparring with Mydei, as just one more example of Phainon envisioning a happy life with all his friends and found family beside him.

But the devs didn't do that.

The devs built a trailer that asked Phainon the question "What is your dream?" and then let their massively hyped male protagonist answer: "Let me experience joy by the side of my equal."

This trailer says, unequivocally, that Phainon doesn't need to return to Aedes Elysiae to be happy. He believes the life he desires can be found in Okhema, and his only requirements for that life, for that joy, are peace (a parade of heroes with Mydei and Aglaea, the guardian mother figure, by his side), domesticity (caring for the children of Okhema's next generation), and a return to normalcy (defined literally by the presence of Mydeimos).

The implication is that Phainon had already found his happy ending, had already achieved his dream--and all he wants now is to get it back.

The dev team had every option to say something different, to imply that Phainon had never been truly happy with his life in Okhema, or that Phainon's happiness revolves around everyone he's ever known and loved because he's the Deliverer of all--but instead they decided to tell us explicitly that Phainon doesn't need every single friend and Chrysos Heir to return to him in the same form as they left him (Castorice and Polyxia return not as adult friends but children to be nurtured, for example).

He doesn't need to go back to Cyrene's side to know joy again for the first time since his youth.

Look at this happy bug-eyed bean. Have you seen my son? Now you have.

When Phainon thinks of his own dream, he envisions himself where fate has already brought him--to Okhema, to Mydei.

This isn't tee-hee fanservice. This isn't a quick innuendo for the yaoi cash grab.

This is the dev team deliberately building Phainon's relationship with another male character into the thematic core of his story, linking the completion of his entire hero's journey with a return to the side of another man.

(Image from here.)

Whatever you might think of Joseph Campbell, in a very meta way, universal awareness of Campbell's monomyth has essentially permeated the writing of every modern hero character. (We can argue that the hero's journey never consciously existed for the original writers of mythology, but we can't argue that it doesn't exist for the writers of hero characters today.)

Phainon's arc clearly, step-for-step, maps to the hero's journey, likely in a very intentional way so that the devs can play with the notion of the thin line between hero and villain, the burden of heroism as the conduit for resentment and violence, etc. etc. In light of the fact that Phainon's case so closely maps to the monomyth, it is near inevitable that we see him experience the call to adventure (Flame Reaver's attack) and leave his "known world" (Aedes Elysiae) to pursue the saving of their planet, a conflict which will inevitably push him beyond the brink of death and into apotheosis as an ascended being, a changed man.

But then the hero is supposed to return. Whether or not Phainon's return to normalcy is possible as a changed man, we're supposed to see him try. His journey is meant to be rewarded, his lessons are meant to be learned, and he should be able to go back to the place he calls home, having achieved all he needed to in life.

Aragorn ascends the throne of Gondor with Arwen. Rose Dawson returns the Heart of the Sea to Jack. Odysseus is reunited with his Penelope.

The return Phainon is supposed to long for, the place he is supposed to envision as his normal world, his home, his reward for a journey finally fulfilled... It should be Aedes Elysiae.

But this trailer tells us it's not.

Okhema is the home Phainon dreams of returning to.

Mydei is the person Phainon dreams of being reunited with.

This wasn't a necessary message to send. The devs did not have to link Phainon's individual heroic character arc, the conclusion of the thematic evolution of his character, to another man.

No matter what happens in 3.4, nothing will erase this moment in which the Star Rail writers consciously implied that being with Mydeimos is the end that Phainon would choose for his own journey, the future he would write for himself.

And all of this is improved by the knowledge that Phainon has faced this question about his dreams before. In 3.3, Anaxa asks him this same thing. But when Phainon answers:

Anaxa scolds him for the paleness of the answer, how generic and passionless it is to wish to protect people without even being able to name who you wish to protect:

Phainon's trailer, then, becomes the wham line to this wind-up, the parallel story structure returning to a focal, character-defining moment: Anaxa isn't asking Phainon to voice a practical answer to his query--he's asking Phainon a core question about Phainon's self-identity.

In the past, Phainon was unable to communicate a specific wish or vision for his future because he had no true attachment to the world. He wants to "protect the people he cares about" but isn't able to articulate who that even is anymore, or why he cares about them, how deeply, or what they mean in his life.

In Phainon's trailer, Castorice wishes for a "normal life," and Phainon says "That's not a wish" because it should be hers by right, it should be a given.

In 3.3, Phainon says "I don't want to lose anyone else," and Anaxa effectively says "That's not a wish" because it should be a given, because caring about everyone and placing the weight of their lives on your own shoulders ("being a hero") is a perpetual losing game--it's the same as not actually being able to freely live at all.

So Phainon's trailer becomes an echo. Phainon gets a second chance to answer Anaxa's question, a second chance to tell the world what truly matters to him.

He gets a second chance to show us players what he really wants to protect, not in a vague and detail-less single sentence but with color, life, and specificity.

He still isn't able to say the words, he still doesn't manage to articulate his answer, but we get to see it, nonetheless--the fact that Phainon does have something he longs to possess just for himself: a personal wish for happiness that requires another man to fulfill.

That's how you queer-code a male character, my friends.

[kosi-annec]

BITING. "Well in Linked Universe" "Well in the LU fandom" Shut up! Stop! Its a *fan comic*. Its a Good fancomic, but its not canon and its not mine either! Get off me! Legend of zelda is almost 40 years old and has so much stuff please just LOOK at it! Im Tired!

[kosi-annec]

[kosi-annec]

hey uh new type of ao3 spam comment just dropped. (I know it's spam because the fic they left this comment on . doesn't have chapters. lmfao). Report this kinda comment as spam and don't take it personally it is literally recycled bullshit

[kosi-annec]

[kosi-annec]

[kosi-annec]

this randomly blew up on twitter so i figured i’d post it here bc lord knows everyone on this app is neurodivergent