Hi-low kiddos! Call me Leighann! I write and do other creative things. -- 28, She/Her, Lesbian, INFP, Pisces, Hufflepuff, Pukwudgie. -- Very punny and a cheesy romantic.
I got into the podcast Dungeons and Daddies and have now planned a multi-chapter project to write for it in the span of the last few hours. We’ll see how well that pans out with this new medication thing. I hope it goes well because I still have a commission from a long time ago that I need to finish and I feel like this would be a great warm-up to that.
I’ve been on this medication for a little over two weeks now. Aside from waking up 1-3 times a night, there are no negative side effects. And the waking up isn’t bad. I fall back asleep almost immediately and I feel far more rested than I ever did before I started taking the depression medication.
Overall, I feel amazing. The intrusive thoughts have stopped, save for fleeting traces of it when I’m really tired. I’m sleeping a lot more. I’m eating the right foods. I actually feel like exercising again, though I haven’t started doing that quite yet. I don’t want to push too many changes too fast. Plus, I’m dealing with something that I hadn’t expected.
Because my mental health has changed so drastically, I now have a void in my life. I had no idea how much of my time was taken up by my mental illness. Now that a sizeable chunk of it isn’t hanging around in my head anymore, It’s like a piece of me is missing. My therapist explained that this is normal for anyone in my position. Like grief, mental health treatment, in particular medication, can cause a sudden shift that can lead to a void. Suddenly, here’s all this free mental space and time. Finding out what to fill it with can be a bit tricky, especially at first.
I have tried to get into writing again, but that’s proving to be more difficult than I expected. I have at least one story idea I like, but when I try to sit down and write, the head space is so different that I can’t focus on my work. I have that problem at work as well. Since I’m not brought down by all these depressed thoughts, the world in and out of my head feels different, so it’s causing all sort of focusing issues. My ADHD probably isn’t helping either.
This hasn’t just affected my writing. It’s changed everything. This medication has literally changed my life. There are no other words to describe it. I realize this is likely what people without depression feel like and I never realized how bad my depression was until the medication really started kicking in. This is the second time I’ve said it, but I don’t think it’s really hit me yet. I think I’m waiting for the medication to quit working, like it’s a “too good to be true” kind of thing. It won’t, of course, but it’ll take time for that to really sink in.
There is a nasty anon going around telling people to cut themselves, or cut more, and post pictures. Please, especially if you are a person who cannot handle something like this, and please be honest with yourself, turn off anon!! This has happened to at least three people I follow in the last ten minutes. Take care of yourself!